Stick with it. Sounds like you are doing some good things and getting yourself out there. Talk to your RA about tips and resources at MSU. I bet there are many others who feel the same way you do. A new school is going to have the same challenges.
I know my parents keep telling me to push through it and it will all be good but it really takes a toll on my to go days without talking to anyone. Im not really sure what i should say to my RA. I just say im having a hard time making friends.
That was me for a solid 2 years here. I literally ate alone at the cafeteria every day, it was so depressing. I didn’t go to the events I wanted to go to because I didn’t have anyone to go with. Finally that has changed for me lol.
Clubs are good but they can be a very passive activity, you don’t really have to get involved. I know it’s a debated topic, but I’d suggest joining a business fraternity or any social frat if that interests you. Alternatively, a smaller club and really put yourself out there, invite people to do stuff. If you’re religious(or even curious), ministry groups are super welcoming and will take you in instantly and make you part of the fam.
I have actually thought about joining a frat. I was going to go today but got way to anxious so i didn’t go. Im trying to build the courage and just go tomorrow. But i scared that they are going to hate me because I’m just so self conscious and feel like everyone hates me. But the other thing is I’m terrified of hazing I like to party but at the same time i don’t wanna drink a bottle of liquor. I just hope it gets better soon.
Just go tomorrow! I almost didn’t rush bc I was also anxious and I’m pretty introverted. But it was the best decision I made in college to get out of my loneliness. To answer your question about transferring, I considered it too but in the end I don’t think a different school will make much of a difference tbh
I have been thinking that not much will change if i transfer because i will be commuting but i wont be so lonely but i have my family and my friendly with my co workers back at home but not hang outside of work friends but that was partially because i was a minor and most were in their 20’s
Show out to rush man. If it turns out it’s not for you, then that’s okay. But show out and then you won’t be wondering the what-if’s. Check out @ifc_michigan_state on Instagram for info and you can see the houses on there too. MSU has a large greek life and there are many different chapters here with wildly different guys. Some people get drunk and party, other houses play videogames and chill. Just look for what you want and you’ll likely find it.
Edit: Feel free to PM me with any questions you have about the Rush process and all that, I’m a senior and have been involved since my freshman year.
Yea i ended up going it was really my scene after all i just felt really out of place so i decided not to continue. But im starting to feel better, i also booked my first appointment with CAPS.
Be honest. I'm struggling, I'm lonely...I need help connecting with people. But push yourself to get help and not suffer. Are you in any group chats on your floor or in your classes? College is hard and stressful. I hope you find your tribe. Keep trying and don't isolate. No new friends will find you hiding in your dorm.
All of the group chats im in are just groupme that is for my floor with my RA and the classes are all big lectures classes. I actually force myself to not say in my dorm. I make myself go on walks. I go to the gym instead of sitting around. I like to refuse to study or do homework in my room. But it is still just so hard to meet people.
Im apply to Broad business college at msu. To get in you need to apply to them. They look at your GPA, you have to write a paper, show job experience, what activities your involved with, and do a case study. Its kinda competitive. Once you get in you have to take some pre rec classes then you can select your major.
Don’t know if it’s your scene, but maybe consider looking into Greek life? I know a lot of people kinda look down on it but my experience was fantastic, made almost my college friends that way.
I'm naturally a more introverted person, but moved around a lot as a kid, and I learned a few things about this. Here's my best advice:
\- A lot of people are in the same position you're in. I know that doesn't help Anxiety Brain, but it's important for you to hear.
\- If you want to make friends, be a friend. Ask someone to join you for something, anything. Dinner in the caf, studying in the library, a workout. You may get some 'nah's' but if you ask around you'll find someone else who wants to make friends.
\- Start a study group for one of your classes. Invite people from the class list on D2L
\- Once you've met some people, plan something and invite them. A lot of people are just sitting around waiting to be asked. Plan a trip to see a movie or a Meijer run. Something simple. If you're the one doing the planning, you're never left out.
It’s really hard to think it’s true, but a lot of people feel the same exact way when you’re a freshman. Stick with the clubs and just grind it out. I contemplated transferring my freshman year but I’m really glad I didn’t.
It’s more normal than you think. I was in your situation too, literally spent my entire first year here completely alone, didn’t make friends, ate by myself always, never partied, and it sucked. It wasn’t until my sophomore year were I found really close friends that I’m still in contact with today. Just keep at it, it’s inevitable that you’ll come across people that will want to be friendly with you.
What clubs are you in? Can always check out more and new clubs as well. Maybe you don't click with the people in some of the clubs you've tried out, so you'll just have to find the group of people that you do click with.
I have gone to a finance club, euchre club, a bible study, a mentor mentee program for freshmen business students. I have a hard time finding clubs i went to the spring participation thing it was packed and signed up for some clubs but never received anything else from them. If you have any suggestions of clubs please let me know
Here's a list of (almost) all MSU Clubs, might be a little outdated though.
https://msu.campuslabs.com/engage/organizations
If you find something that interest you, try searching up and see if the clubs have discord servers or anything that you can join to meet people.
While some of the clubs you've mentioned can certainly be great, none of them seem to be much of a true social club. Do you play video games? Watch anome? Are you an immigrant/different nationality? Check out clubs that might have people of similar interests as you and it will be easier to connect with people.
What are your hobbies? What do you enjoy in your free time?
For any sort of religious club, there's a lot of MSU affiliated clubs, but there's also East Lansing/Lansing religious groups that some of my friends have found homes in(though I have no personal expierence with them)
I have a job right now but its hard because it’s mainly all juniors and senior. I’m the only freshman their because they normal wont but i know someone who works there so i got the job. It’s not too bad and good pay but really wanna work with people that are more my age like freshman or sophomore do you think i can find that working at a off campus restaurant?
Join the business frat Delta Sigma Pi. Bunch of really cool people in there as well as good connections. Will be easy for you to make friends. Also there’s no hazing like a normal dumb frat.
I would recommend joining a RSO where there is some type of competition aspect and is viewed more as a team rather than a club. With clubs it is pretty easy to go passive in them while with a team you get closer with everyone involved since you are working toward a goal (all current friends at MSU are from my team). Some examples are FSAE, Baja, and STARX. If design teams are not your thing, there are still a lot of other options.
There are lots of coed frats with cheap dues and easy rushing processes that you can join. You are guaranteed to make a lot of friends and have some fun.
Best advice I can give is be as social as possible in your classes, and give it time. I just made friends this year and I’m a junior, just took me time to find people I clicked with (I’m also shit at talking and was going through a lot, so def not saying it’ll take you that long). Good luck!
Some people break up with a romantic partner because it isn’t working for whatever reasons only to carry what is now more baggage into the next relationship just to make similar mistakes in that one, they come to find out the problem isn’t necessarily the partner themself, but rather how they are engaging their relationships.
If you said something about seasonal depression in the winter because you aren’t from here or something to that effect then obviously we have a bit of a Michigan issue and by extension MSU as it is a university that exists in Michigan… But is the problem the university you have a relationship with or the way you’re navigating the relationship itself?
If more the prior then sure yeah transferring could make hella sense if you have another place in mind that’s projected to be better, if the more latter then you’re going to do a lot of work just to disappoint yourself again (and possibly even worse that time around).
If your issue is one purely of socialization/connections then is the issue is way less likely to be the university of 50k itself rather than how you go about finding connections in a university setting!
Try finding student orgs in the realm of your interests and meeting people thru them, from what I read if you transfer colleges you may risk simply repeating the same experience but then also have to deal with the baggage of transferring credits (whether they may be taken or not) and rearranging trajectory towards completing major at new institution (even if transferred credits may not count towards class check-off requirements in the way you may think)
https://msu.campuslabs.com/engage/organizations
What do you like to do? What are your hobbies?
Stick with it. Sounds like you are doing some good things and getting yourself out there. Talk to your RA about tips and resources at MSU. I bet there are many others who feel the same way you do. A new school is going to have the same challenges.
I know my parents keep telling me to push through it and it will all be good but it really takes a toll on my to go days without talking to anyone. Im not really sure what i should say to my RA. I just say im having a hard time making friends.
That was me for a solid 2 years here. I literally ate alone at the cafeteria every day, it was so depressing. I didn’t go to the events I wanted to go to because I didn’t have anyone to go with. Finally that has changed for me lol. Clubs are good but they can be a very passive activity, you don’t really have to get involved. I know it’s a debated topic, but I’d suggest joining a business fraternity or any social frat if that interests you. Alternatively, a smaller club and really put yourself out there, invite people to do stuff. If you’re religious(or even curious), ministry groups are super welcoming and will take you in instantly and make you part of the fam.
I have actually thought about joining a frat. I was going to go today but got way to anxious so i didn’t go. Im trying to build the courage and just go tomorrow. But i scared that they are going to hate me because I’m just so self conscious and feel like everyone hates me. But the other thing is I’m terrified of hazing I like to party but at the same time i don’t wanna drink a bottle of liquor. I just hope it gets better soon.
Just go tomorrow! I almost didn’t rush bc I was also anxious and I’m pretty introverted. But it was the best decision I made in college to get out of my loneliness. To answer your question about transferring, I considered it too but in the end I don’t think a different school will make much of a difference tbh
I have been thinking that not much will change if i transfer because i will be commuting but i wont be so lonely but i have my family and my friendly with my co workers back at home but not hang outside of work friends but that was partially because i was a minor and most were in their 20’s
Show out to rush man. If it turns out it’s not for you, then that’s okay. But show out and then you won’t be wondering the what-if’s. Check out @ifc_michigan_state on Instagram for info and you can see the houses on there too. MSU has a large greek life and there are many different chapters here with wildly different guys. Some people get drunk and party, other houses play videogames and chill. Just look for what you want and you’ll likely find it. Edit: Feel free to PM me with any questions you have about the Rush process and all that, I’m a senior and have been involved since my freshman year.
Did you end up rushing? Been thinking about you, hope you’re feeling better
Yea i ended up going it was really my scene after all i just felt really out of place so i decided not to continue. But im starting to feel better, i also booked my first appointment with CAPS.
Okay that’s completely valid, but good job going and also getting your first appointment w caps!
You wanna be friends? I’ll be your friend
I’m a freshman here too
Be honest. I'm struggling, I'm lonely...I need help connecting with people. But push yourself to get help and not suffer. Are you in any group chats on your floor or in your classes? College is hard and stressful. I hope you find your tribe. Keep trying and don't isolate. No new friends will find you hiding in your dorm.
All of the group chats im in are just groupme that is for my floor with my RA and the classes are all big lectures classes. I actually force myself to not say in my dorm. I make myself go on walks. I go to the gym instead of sitting around. I like to refuse to study or do homework in my room. But it is still just so hard to meet people.
I have also been looking into CAPS but i’m kinda of nervous to go through with it
CAPS is great! They will be a listening ear and give you tools to get out there and make connections with people. You got this!
What is your major?
It’s business so I’m currently in the process of apply to the college right now
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Im apply to Broad business college at msu. To get in you need to apply to them. They look at your GPA, you have to write a paper, show job experience, what activities your involved with, and do a case study. Its kinda competitive. Once you get in you have to take some pre rec classes then you can select your major.
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At broad you are listed as business-preference until you get into the school. What OP is saying is accurate
he is a freshman applying to the business college, what don’t u understand
Im not 100% sure what it is going to be yet but it wont matter till the end of my sophomore year.
Don’t know if it’s your scene, but maybe consider looking into Greek life? I know a lot of people kinda look down on it but my experience was fantastic, made almost my college friends that way.
I'm naturally a more introverted person, but moved around a lot as a kid, and I learned a few things about this. Here's my best advice: \- A lot of people are in the same position you're in. I know that doesn't help Anxiety Brain, but it's important for you to hear. \- If you want to make friends, be a friend. Ask someone to join you for something, anything. Dinner in the caf, studying in the library, a workout. You may get some 'nah's' but if you ask around you'll find someone else who wants to make friends. \- Start a study group for one of your classes. Invite people from the class list on D2L \- Once you've met some people, plan something and invite them. A lot of people are just sitting around waiting to be asked. Plan a trip to see a movie or a Meijer run. Something simple. If you're the one doing the planning, you're never left out.
This is really good advice. I especially love the if your the one planning it you can never be left out. Thank you
It’s really hard to think it’s true, but a lot of people feel the same exact way when you’re a freshman. Stick with the clubs and just grind it out. I contemplated transferring my freshman year but I’m really glad I didn’t.
Fishing club is cool
It’s more normal than you think. I was in your situation too, literally spent my entire first year here completely alone, didn’t make friends, ate by myself always, never partied, and it sucked. It wasn’t until my sophomore year were I found really close friends that I’m still in contact with today. Just keep at it, it’s inevitable that you’ll come across people that will want to be friendly with you.
What clubs are you in? Can always check out more and new clubs as well. Maybe you don't click with the people in some of the clubs you've tried out, so you'll just have to find the group of people that you do click with.
I have gone to a finance club, euchre club, a bible study, a mentor mentee program for freshmen business students. I have a hard time finding clubs i went to the spring participation thing it was packed and signed up for some clubs but never received anything else from them. If you have any suggestions of clubs please let me know
Here's a list of (almost) all MSU Clubs, might be a little outdated though. https://msu.campuslabs.com/engage/organizations If you find something that interest you, try searching up and see if the clubs have discord servers or anything that you can join to meet people. While some of the clubs you've mentioned can certainly be great, none of them seem to be much of a true social club. Do you play video games? Watch anome? Are you an immigrant/different nationality? Check out clubs that might have people of similar interests as you and it will be easier to connect with people. What are your hobbies? What do you enjoy in your free time? For any sort of religious club, there's a lot of MSU affiliated clubs, but there's also East Lansing/Lansing religious groups that some of my friends have found homes in(though I have no personal expierence with them)
Go work at a restaurant
I have a job right now but its hard because it’s mainly all juniors and senior. I’m the only freshman their because they normal wont but i know someone who works there so i got the job. It’s not too bad and good pay but really wanna work with people that are more my age like freshman or sophomore do you think i can find that working at a off campus restaurant?
Absolutely
Join ski club even if you do not ski
I have also joined ski club
Join the business frat Delta Sigma Pi. Bunch of really cool people in there as well as good connections. Will be easy for you to make friends. Also there’s no hazing like a normal dumb frat.
I would recommend joining a RSO where there is some type of competition aspect and is viewed more as a team rather than a club. With clubs it is pretty easy to go passive in them while with a team you get closer with everyone involved since you are working toward a goal (all current friends at MSU are from my team). Some examples are FSAE, Baja, and STARX. If design teams are not your thing, there are still a lot of other options.
There are lots of coed frats with cheap dues and easy rushing processes that you can join. You are guaranteed to make a lot of friends and have some fun.
Best advice I can give is be as social as possible in your classes, and give it time. I just made friends this year and I’m a junior, just took me time to find people I clicked with (I’m also shit at talking and was going through a lot, so def not saying it’ll take you that long). Good luck!
more people feel like this than you’d think. it’s hard, i still haven’t made many friends. it’ll come to you if you keep trying.
Some people break up with a romantic partner because it isn’t working for whatever reasons only to carry what is now more baggage into the next relationship just to make similar mistakes in that one, they come to find out the problem isn’t necessarily the partner themself, but rather how they are engaging their relationships. If you said something about seasonal depression in the winter because you aren’t from here or something to that effect then obviously we have a bit of a Michigan issue and by extension MSU as it is a university that exists in Michigan… But is the problem the university you have a relationship with or the way you’re navigating the relationship itself? If more the prior then sure yeah transferring could make hella sense if you have another place in mind that’s projected to be better, if the more latter then you’re going to do a lot of work just to disappoint yourself again (and possibly even worse that time around). If your issue is one purely of socialization/connections then is the issue is way less likely to be the university of 50k itself rather than how you go about finding connections in a university setting! Try finding student orgs in the realm of your interests and meeting people thru them, from what I read if you transfer colleges you may risk simply repeating the same experience but then also have to deal with the baggage of transferring credits (whether they may be taken or not) and rearranging trajectory towards completing major at new institution (even if transferred credits may not count towards class check-off requirements in the way you may think) https://msu.campuslabs.com/engage/organizations What do you like to do? What are your hobbies?