Fresh cut pine. Amazing smell, little bit prickly of a taste.


Sparkling water. I get so fucking excited only to have the promise of the sweet taste of grape fruit ripped out of my shaking finger tips while I curse at the Gods for ever letting there be such an abomination able to pervert my mouth with endless TV static and the lost and shredded soul of what was one my beloved grape fruit. God is dead and I wish I was too. Edit: thank you so much for the awards! I've never gotten any before :) you guys are the best! (But not if you like sparkling water👁)


I see we’ve got a lot of gasoline drinkers in this thread.


Unleaded tastes a little tangy. Supreme is kinda sour, and diesel tastes pretty good.


We’re sick from stealing so much gas.


Stealing gas? why Cory and Trevor that's highly illegal. You shouldn't be stealing gas Cory and Trevor.


Smokes, let’s go.


Only wack suckas like Cory and Trevor steal gas...and deal dope.




They got community service which isn't bad, but to be honest they could use this as a learnin situation


Thank God for the People's Freedom of Choices and Voices Act


*I spin more rhymes than a lazy Susan, and I'm innocent until my guilt is proven.* Peace. Representing Sunnyvale, straight the fuck up.


Just look at them, that's gas sickness


If I can’t smoke and swear I’m fucked


Fuck off ricky


A toad a so! You know i don’t like to say a toad a so


Survival of the fitness


I will always upvote Trailer Park Boys.


That explains so much. Edit: Seriously though, why are you people eating dry erase markers, wood animal bedding, paint, petrol, candles, laundry soap,hand lotion, holiday Cinnamon brooms, and everything else listed here?


When I was young I had a misunderstanding with a hairdresser that resulted in me crying. Hairdresser felt really bad and gave me some hair goo stuff to help it and it smelled and looked EXACTLY like strawberry Yogo but it just tasted like soap


That was a wild ride....


I started using a new shampoo a few months ago and it smells like watermelon jolly ranchers. Maui Moisture lightweight hydration. So yummy smelling, not so yummy tasting.




Cocoa butter


Lip Smacker Coca-Cola Lip Gloss


It’s for the best that these things don’t taste good. I had a version of this but in chapstick form and ate the whole stick. I can’t imagine eating tubes of lip gloss.


You…you ate chapstick?


I'm going to guess they were a kid in the 90s. There was a *lot* of great scented things at the time, and a lot of them got eaten - even if they weren't meant to be. At least this was something that was *meant* to be put near your mouth, instead of, say, Mr Sketch grape scented markers 👀😂


Hearing the name "Mr Grape Scented Markers" only remindes me of how sick I felt sniffing the black one. It left a pit in my stomach :(


Cocoa powder


Oh man, the first time I saw a square of baker's chocolate and tried to eat it. I'm making the same face typing it as I did trying it four decades ago.


Absolutely. My mom was chopping some up and I asked to try it so she let me but was not expecting me to shove the whole puck in my mouth. We were both disappointed that day.


My 3 year old tried bakers chocolate. He made the face I was expecting, but then he grabbed the sugar bowl and dipped the chocolate in it. He's 30 now, but boy oh boy was he a lot of work lol


... i buy artisanal handmade bakers chocolate from an old lady the stuff is 100% no sugar no added fat, it smells gorgeous i like the taste even if its bitter. A couple of times i left then in my car it smelled glorious for days.


_Montezuma liked your comment_ _Montezuma subscribed to your page_


*Trade offer screen pops up*


I know you gonna betray me in 20 or so turns or be My best friends for the rest of the game while everyone else hates me, and i will never say no to that


Yep that and vanilla extract are both incredibly disappointing.


My dad got me with that as a kid. I kept saying I wanted some after hearing "vanilla" and finally he put a little on a spoon and said have at it.


The water in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. Edit: This is the most upvotes I’ve ever had on a post, and my first ever awards. Thanks everyone!!


If you drink it you black out and become part of the ride


This is an excellent contribution to this post


I would buy a candle that smells like this ride lmao. I think they actually make one.


I have the candle. Its not the same. But it felt close. I lit it for about an hour and reminisced, until my husband came downstairs and asked if I left wet clothes in the washer again, and my dreams died.


I laughed out loud at that one, thanks.


*Dead men smell no tales…*


Vanilla extract.


Every so often I’ll sneak a tiny taste just in case it changed since the last time I tasted it. The absolutely intoxicating scent removes all logic from my brain and I continue to hope one day it tastes as good as I want it to


It seduces us.


This is the best word for it honestly.


_Reduction Seduction: The Life and Lies of A Vanilla Extract Saleman_


We have the vanilla syrups for baking which is just vanilla extract in a very thick syrup. Tastes as good as it smells, thats for sure.


Ah that siren call. No man can resist.


reptilian brain moment


*scrabbles up wall* 🦎


I used to take sips of this as a child thinking it would get me drunk.


I love the image of a small child taking a sippy cup flask out of his jacket pocket and taking small swigs of vanilla extract while watching dora the explorer with a distant look, eyes watching Swiper but mind reliving the memories he'd rather drown in drink


well, if you really want to know. I would sneak into the pantry. Locate the extract on the shelf, unscrew the lid, fill the top with extract (like a shot) then replace the lid, look out for mom, and bolt. I thought I was so fuckin sly. PS: I didn't turn out to be an alcoholic BTW.


I once found a bag of bath salts/smelly shit you dissolve in the bath in my parents bedroom. It was granules in a sealy bag and my 10 year old brain instantly was like 'cool, drugs' and swiftly pocketed that shit. I showed it to some bros at school super proudly and Jason fuckin rabbets knew exactly what it was and made me look the fool I was. Fuck u Jason


It can actually do that.


Any extract really, one night I was with some buddies and one of them had a bottle of peppermint extract for reasons I don’t recall. Turns out it’s about 90% alcohol and we started to wonder whether or not a bottle of it would get you drunk. After everyone took a small taste no one wanted to drink more. Then my friend told me he’d give me $20 to drink it, I have a history of doing mostly anything if I’m dared to. I accept and shoot the whole bottle in one swig. My throat and mouth burned but I felt relatively fine for about a minute. Out of nowhere my stomach started to feel like it was on fire and soon I felt like throwing up. I then spent the next 15 minutes puking in the bathroom, it was so violent that vomit started coming out of my nose which burnt like hell. I didn’t end up drinking anymore that night and I was blowing vomit out of my burning nose until the next morning. Wouldn’t recommend.


Buddy in college was mixing lemon extra with Pepsi to get drunk in the dorms. Shit was wild after that. Fast forward a few years and the same guy is making meth because “he wanted to see if he could”. Fights the cops, slashes a bunch of tires, and gets arrested. Not sure where he is now, but I can’t imagine he course corrected.


Oh wow, there’s quite a difference between someone who drinks extract on a dare and someone that actively seeks it out it seems


Lemon extract is a well known gate way drug.


When life gives you lemons, turn it into drugs


Sugar: taste better than it smells. Add that with vanilla and they complement each other


Agreed. I tried vanilla extract by the spoonful though. Do not recommend.


Dudes in rehab used to drink it to get drunk.


Before I turned 21 I would buy lemon extract from Walmart in bulk. Lemon had the highest alcohol percentage and I would mix it with lemon lime soda. That was the start of my binge drinking and because I often made myself throw up at the end of every night to expel the calories, the acidity really fucked up my teeth for a while. Crazy times.


Okay but what’s your favorite kind of spider


There's a fair amount of alcohol in it. Approx. 5 ounces and you're drunk.


I know. I've dabbled when curiosity got the best of me. Was not as disgusting as I expected once I chased the flavour away but also didn't drink enough to get really drunk. I work in addictions now and non-bev alcohol drunks are some of the most violent and unpredictable. Dangerous shit.


Vanilla extract is often 75%+ alcohol, so it's in the neighborhood of Bacardi 151 as far as getting hammered potential. That said, I do NOT recommend drinking extracts as a means to get drunk. Back in the day I had a friend who showed up to school on day with a water bottle full of almond extract. He tricked me into drinking from it (it was perfectly clear, so I thought it was water) and it was like drinking liquid fire. I've never drank anything else that burned so bad... I didn't drink more than a swig, but my friend was determined to get hammered off of it and over the course of the evening managed to finish the bottle. He said besides the killer hangover, the only thing he remembers about the experience was that for like an entire week afterwards, every time he went to the bathroom (#1 or #2) the smell of almonds was so strong it was almost overpowering... (Just to be clear, it's really not recommended to drinking extracts like this, the alcohol they use isn't meant to be consumed straight up, in fact it's really not supposed to be consumed at all as the actual alcohol is supposed to be cooked off when you cook whatever the dish is you put it in, leaving the flavor of the extracts behind. Also, most dishes require like maybe a tablespoon at most, so drinking enough to get drunk is hundreds of times more than the recommended serving size. It's just a bad idea.)


Laundry detergent. I had a patient once with pica during her pregnancy who couldn’t do laundry cuz the lemony scent would make her want to drink the detergent.


My friends brothers gf is pregnant and she says she keeps talking about wanting to drink and smell lighter fluid, wonder how that’s gonna end up


This can be a symptom of nutritional deficiency, called pica


For those who don’t know: “Pica is the practice of craving substances with little or no nutritional value. Most pregnancy and pica-related cravings involve non-food substances such as dirt or chalk. The word pica is Latin for magpie which is a bird notorious for eating almost anything. It is true that the majority of women will experience cravings during pregnancy; however, most of these cravings are for things like pickles and ice cream.” https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/is-it-safe/unusual-cravings-pica/


I Had a similar experience! When I had pica I wanted to eat the arm & hammer scent beads.. it was so weird


When my mom was pregnant with me she wanted to drink Downy fabric softener because "it smelled so delicious". Luckily her other cravings were Big Macs and fried shrimp so I'm hoping she never had to resort to the fabric softener.


Yeah you don’t want a soft kid


I had pica as a child and used to eat Ajax. It tasted so good to me. My mom used to store it under the kitchen sink and I would sneakily eat it. So far I'm fine but I wonder if it caused any harm.


Half the people in Congress ate lead paint chips aka wall candy growing up. So yes, it probably damaged you but you can still achieve if you believe.


I truly feel like half of them still do.


Dry tobacco


I live in North Carolina and my hometown still has a lot of tobacco warehouses that store fresh tobacco before being shipped off for manufacturing. The whole town smells like it every fall and I love it. The smell somewhat reminds me of raisins


Ok so I am not the only one who gets a hint of raisin from tobacco


This, why does it smell so sweet? I like it.


I love the smell of a pouch of tobacco, not tailored cigarettes but straight tobacco. Soo good


pipe tobacco is the best. so many different aromas


I was gifted some beard oil thats vanilla and tobacco scented. Ladies love it, even my girlfriend who is an anti-smoking asthmatic.


Fresh Sawdust


Add cheese (just like every street food vendor in India)


As someone who hasn't been to India: can you elaborate?


Street food vendors across India, particularly the northern states, have developed a tendency to add cheese in copious amounts. Even to dishes that don't go with cheese. This is a recent change though with the advent of social media and reels I imagine. Because shit like this gets viral and could make you famous


Interesting. Thanks for explaining!




Get them while they're hot.


when it solidifies around your tongue, finally you have the armor and means to lick the stove without it making the crackly crunchies


When Little Timmy sniffed the air, And smelled a scent divine - "What pretty thing is waiting there? I want to make it mine! "I love this smell of something sweet, This whiff of something swell - This fragrant hue of flavours neat, On which I wish to dwell! "I want, I *need* it in my soul! I'll take my fill!" he cried. So Timmy ate the candle whole. And Timmy fucking died.


You really need to collect your work in a book or something.


[I think they did?](https://www.amazon.com/Poems-Your-Sprog-Sam-Garland/dp/1981229329)


Nice! Hope it's by the original author. Thanks.


They have posts on their account talking about that specific book, so you can rest easily knowing you're supporting the original author if you purchase the book linked above.


Fresh Sprog with a side of dead Timmy. Always a pleasure to find.


And eat those super hot peppers Chief Wiggum somehow got for his chili.




I genuinely used to eat lotion as a kid. I don't remember the taste but it must not have been so bad if I kept going back for second helpings.


what the fuck


Forbidden yogurt


'What the fuck' is correct.


okay, Charlie. Lotion was the gateway drug to Milksteak and cat food, wasn't it.


Sunblock is a good drink for the boardwalk though


My little sister used to take the cushions off the couch and empty entire bottles of lotion out onto them, using the cushions like plates. Then take them into another room, lock the door, and eat all the lotion off of the couch cushion. Sometimes when my mom tried to put lotion on my face, I'd lick it off, but at least I was never as crazy as my sister. Oh, and my siblings have a friend who stole another friend's eczema lotion and spread it on a rice krispie treat for a snack.


You're all demons of varying degrees. Stand back, I tell you!


This whole thing reads like a description of a corner of a Hieronymus Bosch painting.


No to all of that.


Your simple response has me in tears xD


Was it necessary to write all this down


That made me gag


Nah. That’s more for rubbing it on the skin, or else it gets the hose again.


Fresh coffee beans. Edit: holy mother of upvotes! This is the most popular comment I've ever had. Simply from saying coffee beans. I'm at a loss for words. Thank you kind strangers 😂


Hard agree. And the thing is, I _like_ the taste of coffee and I take it black, unadulterated. But the smell is always so much richer, so much more complex and aromatic than the taste. Only back in the 90s at a local coffee shop in Harrisburg did I have a cup that actually came close to that experience. So I know it's possible, but I've tried all the foofy hipster homebrew methods out there and none of them come close. I am left to assume it had more to do with the beans themselves than the preparation method. I simply have no idea what they were using or where they sourced them from. I miss you, Town Perk! Edit: Sorry but replies are now disabled. There's no reason a comment about bean water should be this popular and I simply cannot keep up with my inbox.


My man remembers his favourite cup. respect


Mine was from a tiny ass restraunt in the style of a 50s American diner. It was only around maybe three months before it closed never to be seen again. It served the tastiest black coffee I've ever had : /


I hope you find that coffe again oneday X


ya'll a bunch of drug addicts chasing that first high


I roast my own and get a lot closer to what you're describing. Plus I'm never out of coffee.


Roasting your own and having a high quality grinder will make a huge difference in the quality of your morning brew. Plus, if you buy your green coffee in bulk you can really dial in your roast, grind, and preparation to have really great coffee tailored specifically to your own preferences. No more hoping that the roast is described accurately on the packaging.


For me it's coffee in all forms. Love the smell, hate the taste.


I actually love the taste, but even I have to admit that I love the smell even more.


Coffee taste: 10/10 Coffee smell: 11/10


Black & Mild Cigars, I mean they smell fucking fantastic! Then you puff on one and realize its all a lie! If they had incense that smelled of B&M's I'd totally burn them. Edit: who would've thought, starting a discussion on Black and milds would get me to the promise land of 1K upvotes!!! Good shit! This is why I love reddit!


Maybe I’ve smoked too many but the wood tipped sweets are great haha. The after taste is the real downside but that’s just tobacco man


Cup o noodles. I'm disappointed every time but it always smells so good. Late edit: y'all, there's a Tapatio brand instant noodle and it's sooo good! I put takis in it for extra heartburn. Really though look for it. It's in a big bowl.


usually all the flavour is in the broth which is why the broth is the best part.


Use less water and the noodles get more flavor. Pro tip trust me I'm a pro. I use almost no water, just wet the noodles and mix.




That’s why “poo” is right in the name


Something that smells so nice and tastes so bad is certainly a "sham"


Shampoo for my real friends, real poo for my sham friends


Those cinnamon brooms you buy at the supermarket


Can someone explain to a very confused Englishman what a cinnamon broom is? I’ve had a google and they (to my eternal shock) look like a broom made out of cinnamon. But what’s the point?


They're basically straw brooms that are soaked in cinnamon oil and have a very strong scent. One purpose, the one I use it for, is to make your house smell like cinnamon and kind of wintery and Christmasy. The other purpose is superstition. Some people believe in keeping a cinnamon broom by the door so that you can sweep away bad spirits from your home.


The other purpose is to keep away unwanted guests. You can directly smack them with the broom or you can wait for them to get a scent-triggered migraine and crawl pitifully away.


Add some condensed milk to it


Febreeze. My wife leaves it on the counter next to the PAM sometimes. Makes terrible eggs.


Ask that lady who was addicted to eating fabreeze. She loved it.


A campfire tastes terrible


Coffee. I can’t tell you how many times I made coffee at home before realizing I really only love smelling it and not really drinking it.




Have you tried Tide Pods?


No but I accidentally put Gain scent beads in the laundry load that had kitchen towels in it and all the dishes I dried afterward had a faint moonlight breeze taste to them :(


Dude stop.


the package called it old spice but it really tasted more like a bar of soap stored under a washing machine


Well it did taste 'old'




As a kid, my mum & dad used to have this enormous vase of pot pourri & dried flowers. I was curious what would happen if I just lit the corner. Honestly it went up like a lithium incendiary device for about 3 seconds, leaving the house full of black smoke and 2 charred stalks in the vase


Well now you know




I knew I couldn't be the only one who tried to eat this shit growing up.


Would you think any less of me if I was already grown up


I've got some good news. My grandfather, who was an otherwise sharp and successful man (all the way grown up), once ate potpourri... a near handful of potpourri. Grandpa didn't have the heart to tellmom that her *snackmix* sucked. TL;DR Chin up. You're not the oldest potpourri eater.


I googled potpourri and only today I learned that it is scented dried flower. I always thought it is Indian food.


Vanilla essence


“Vanilla essence” sounds better then it tastes too




I love the taste of chapstick!


Cherry chapstick


Did you kiss a girl and like it?




Yes. Salty. In other news, you can get play-dough perfume. Maybe not for wearing, but if you like the smell you can get it. Also tomato plants, newly mown grass, wet dirt, etc.


I used to have a coffee shop near me that would do these lavendar vanilla overnight oats and that ish tasted like how play-doh smells in an amazing way




Stop huffing gas, Lancer


*sad mitsubishi noises*






“…someone came out of one of the rooms at this party holding like an old antique bottle with some liquid in it, and they said, ‘Hey, is this whiskey or perfume?’ And apparently I grabbed it, drank all of it, and said, ‘It's perfume.’ …..And it was.”




You gotta chug it


Dry erase markers


Markers in general, sometimes even sharpies


if god didn't want you to eat sharpies he wouldn't have made them so slurpable




the smell isn't something I'd ordinarily call *good*... it's just, so, compelling. Like, when you smell paint, you kinda want to hold it on the in-breath and analyze it, kinda like how you just want to stop and stare at a fascinating painting in a gallery. It's captivating, bold, and inviting. Notes of earthy pigments and just the hint of an edge of chemicals under the flatness of plaster. And if it's still wet? You can *feel* the wetness of the paint right in between your eyes. 7/10, would inhale until brain damaged from fumes


This dude fucks paint


why is this the most accurate description ever


On a side note: In German we have a saying for people who are batshit crazy. "Der hat doch Lack gesoffen" = "He must have been drinking paint" (the kind of paint you'd put on cars. Not sure about the correct word for that.)


Not German but we have a similar expression translated into "Did you drink gas (kerosene)?" meaning "Are you crazy?"


La croix


Certain soaps


I’d argue all soaps smell better than they taste


I'd argue that soaps can neither smell nor taste since they have no noses or tongues


I'd just argue


No, I disagree.


Certain? What are the tasty ones? I bet that goat milk and oatmeal one isnt too bad


Soap taste ranked more pleasant to least pleasant. Dove face soap Pumice soap Dawn dish soap Tide liquid laundry detergent Dove bar soap Irish Springs Dial soap Fels Napa Anti dandruff Selson Blue or something Same brand and purpose, but mentholated. Source: was sassy kid.




Flowers - Lillies