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Didn't knew being friends with your ex was a war crime

Didn't knew being friends with your ex was a war crime

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IH8DwnvoteComplainrs

Yeah, I sounds like this friend provided a shoulder to cry on or something.


Chillin247

Your friends, well, your *good* friends can be a strong indicator if you are in a bad relationship. If they become really welcoming and engaging with your SO, that's a good sign you're on the right track. If they don't engage with them at all, it's a good sign they see something you don't, and the reasons why will eventually come out.


habesojamilchmitdass

That's true, however, even good friends can be subject to jealousy.


Chillin247

Of course, we are humans after all, but even a jealous *good* friend(this is why I specified it), won't fuck your significant other. They take your example and try to replicate it, not take what you have. If you disagree with that you might need better friends.


wanderingelephantlif

Yep from some post history digging it seems the girl wasn’t really interested in him and didn’t want a relationship, and OP didn’t realise this and stayed very attached. I speculate OP might have relied emotionally on the friend during this time and the friend doesn’t want OP to get hurt again. https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/mqs0ce/it_just_doesnt_feel_like_a_relationship/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/comments/oehwom/do_i_forgive_a_person_that_hurt_me_do_i_really/


Mike_The_Greek_Guy

Damn nice search


Thus_Spoke

>i got a feeling that you are leaving out important information. This is precisely one of *those* posts. Poor guy got his actual input reduced to: >After everything she did etc etc


Catsniper

Yeah I thought it was going to be a new girlfriend or something, if a friend says that, there's probably good reason


Mike_The_Greek_Guy

Updated the post


Cynicastic

Nothing wrong with being friends with an ex at all. My ex-wife literally left me for another guy. Fast forward 3 years or so, and he's tried to isolate her from her family and did some other really shit things to her, she leaves him, comes back to her parent's house and checks herself into a mental hospital (suicidal). My now-wife and I immediately went to visit her in the hospital. We were all good friends, she passed from cancer 2 years ago, my now-wife and I went to see her less than 24 hours before she died.


TurtleDive1234

There should be more people like you and your wife in the world.


Cynicastic

Thanks.


babamum

It's called maturity!


hubchie

That was a sad rollercoaster to read, you have balls


OriginalFinnah

That sounded like some quick karma


Cynicastic

Meh, she made some bad decisions in her life, but she also had a lot of bad things happen to her completely out of her control, like the cancer. She certainly didn't deserve to die at 48.


CapitolGee34

Maybe you'll get some as well.


OriginalFinnah

Yeah the good kind cuz I don't bring Bad karma upon myself


planethollie

Mature people can accept that just because you were not dating compatible doesn't mean you are not friends compatible. I often paraphrase Phoebe from friends, he just wasn't my lobster. It's okay. It isn't a war crime to be nice to people.


Netcob

Sometimes people grow apart, and sometimes they get together because they mistook a friendship for a romantic relationship. Shit can happen during that time, but if they could have been friends without that, why not be friends after? I feel like it's all 100x easier when the other person can't really hurt you anymore (if they can, of course maybe don't be friends) because your emotional state is not connected to their actions anymore. Of course all of that requires nuance, which is more precious than printer ink.


anu72

I'm friends with my ex. In fact, their wife is also a good friend now. Initially, she wasn't too keen on the idea of us being friends, but i took her out to lunch and we had a good talk about it. I told her that i wasn't interested in them romantically anymore because we had talked and broke up amicably. Of course the initial breakup hurt, but once I got over that and realized that my ex was right and we really weren't compatible, we stayed friends. Heck, we've been friends since 1996 or thereabouts and now their wife is a good friend too. It doesn't make sense to stay mad at people over things, unless it was truly heinous.


Ghstfce

I'm friends with most of my exes. In fact, an ex introduced me to the woman who later became my wife. Just because relationships don't work out, doesn't mean that you have to completely go scorched earth regarding any type of friendly relationship.


Arctic_Gnome

It's not a war crime. You're mixing up being friends with your ex and deliberately targeting civilian populations with incendiary devices.


no-taxi-anywhere

oh like every US president in the past fww decades!


Rational-Peter

This is commendable at one stage I was friends with my ex wife then suddenly it stopped simply no contact


OriginalFinnah

And that's exactly why you cut contact with exes


Grunkle_Chubs

My mom and my dad divorced when I was 4, but it was amicable. My mom and dad agree that my dad just wasn't meant to be a father. That doesn't mean he didn't love me, he just didn't like doing the normal father things, but I digress. The point is that I am 20 now and my mom and my dad are still very good friends. Just because you break up with someone doesn't mean you can still be friends :)


ResidentEvil10

I really need to know what she did before I make a judgement here


Mike_The_Greek_Guy

Updated post


ResidentEvil10

Ye your friend is right, she selfish and playing with your feelings and she just mad that friendzone you didnt work. You should find other friends to have coffee with.


tonepoems

My husband's ex-wife knitted me a scarf for Christmas! No bad blood, all good folks, they just got married very young and realized it was a big mistake. Doesn't mean they can't be friendly.


[deleted]

Well... It's like the guy who burns his hand on the boiling pot. Any average person would call him an idiot for putting his hand on it again. And anyway, your friend is just worried about you, that's all. He's ballistic because he cares.


Mike_The_Greek_Guy

Nice comparison


fairygenesta

I understand. I'm friends with all my exes. Some people think this is weird but I don't care.


noahboah

what did she do? people don't just go ballistic for no reason.


watermelonfield

Lmfao this title made me laugh because I’ve experienced this so many times 😂 idk what’s up with some people, we can still love and respect each other even if we aren’t in an intimate relationship. It’s not about winners and losers


real_dnzl

just sounds like a very mature way to go about a breakup. I mean if the both of you are cool with staying in touch theres nothing wrong about it.


white_butterfly1

My ex is one of my best friends, we're were both hanging out playing board games with our friends last night, no issues.


xiipaoc

Your friend is insane. I'll grant that she wasn't the best girlfriend, but she didn't do anything to warrant you going nuclear with her. There is absolutely nothing wrong with remaining friends with her.


CapitolGee34

Sounds like your buddy may be interested in her.


die_katze

you are gonna waste time, possibly money on this endeavour


ablokeinpf

I'm still friends with most of my exes. Apart from my last wife, but that is by her choice plus she's insane.


Upst8r

>but I can't stay mad at someone forever This. Two people who date usually get along well. If it falls out it's a shame but others are mature enough to see the other as friends. Your other friend probably has some issues with exes and is projecting without realizing it.


knightress_oxhide

You can stay mad at someone forever...


Upst8r

You can hold grudges if you want. No one's gonna stop you - especially if you're a grudge holder ...


No-Incident-8718

Personally speaking, I won't date a person in my life who is friends with ex. Had 2 relationships with such girls and at the end, they cheated me with their ex and each time, it took me 7-8 months to recover. If I'll ever date someone, I'll politely ask that girl to block her ex from everywhere or I'll find another girl. Might get downvotes or seem toxic but when you love someone with whole heart and they cheat you with their ex, it really hurts. People might say that now we're just friends and nothing more but that's not true. When you break up, it's because you're not compatible and that's it. Forget each other and move on.


OriginalFinnah

Birds of a feather flock together


p4lm3r

Your friend sounds pretty immature. I am friends with all of my ex's that are still around. I am even friendly with my ex wife and she had an affair, as well as costing me thousands of dollars. It doesn't hurt anyone to be friendly after some time. It only hurts you to harbor anger. If you and your ex are happy to chat, that's between you two. You sound like adults.


Reneml

You want me to get you some self respect?


p4lm3r

Nah, help yourself.


OriginalFinnah

Sweet mother of blue pills


pygmypuffonacid

I'm friends with my ex , our break up was more A mutual thing because we both wanted the full college experience Given the fact long distance is kind of hard and we were kind of doing our own things so thanks so we figured out how to transition from dating to eX is to back to really good friends cause we've known each other around entire lives, And quite frankly hes probably one of the best wingmen I've ever had since the whole going back to friends s Thing. Dude knows my preferences and I know his no history and well it makes for makes for a good time trying to pick up guys. But I can understand that our kind of relationship is a typical sorry you're dealing with this stuff dude update for some people it's a lot harder to move on from a relationship than others That is all I can say.


Browncoat101

You, no doubt, cried on your friend’s shoulder and they got a terrible impression of your ex and then they didn’t want to see you get hurt again. You might forgive your ex but it doesn’t mean your friends will. Especially if they saw you be hurt by them. You have all the good memories of her, all your friends know if that she hurt you. That’s a good friend you’ve got there.


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fully_thrombosed

I’d almost bet money that he wants OP’s exgf’s puss.


n1nj4_v5_p1r4t3

you are mature, MTGG