I did a double take on this one
By - chelsea707
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I think those are meant as disqualifying questions, to make sure you are actually reading and comprehending the question. If you said yes, your survey results would be void since you didn’t care enough to read it.
This is what I gathered too. I had a survey question once ask me if I have ever traveled in time.
Not to be a dick, but we are all traveling in time...constantly. so I said yes.
I was locked out of that and all future surveys. I honestly think that was a good thing for me.
You are legally pronounced “dead” when your heart stops. So “yes” can most definitely be a valid option meaning they would be tossing some valid surveys out along with the others.
You aren't. You're legally pronounced dead when a medical professional formally declares you dead.
You might be "technically" dead, but you aren't legally dead until someone formally declares you so. When I worked in emergency services, there was a saying that no one dies in an ambulance, they die immediately upon arriving to a hospital.
> You're legally pronounced dead when a medical professional formally declares you dead.
Indeed. Also reminds me of this clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sStJs0fzgCc
Man I wish there was an actual news channel with the integrity they portrayed in that show.
No one is really dead until they no longer come back from it. Until then you are just nearly dead. Like if your heart stops or you cease brain function but miraculously get revived. You didnt die, you just came close.
Heart stop would be clinical death . Ceasing brain function is irreversible and IS dead.
Go through his pockets and look for loose change!
nobody thought to steal his hot gf?
Hence, the whole predicament.
Anybody want a peanut?
stop talking out of your ass about things you quite clearly do not yet comprehend. Love you boo, now go fucking read a book.
How about YOU go read a dictionary.
: a permanent cessation of all vital (see VITAL sense 2a) functions : the end of life
You'll notice the key word "permamant"
This was from a minute google which brought up websters dictionary.
Talking out my ass indeed, I think you're only smelling your own shit eating breath.
Nice effort sport. but no. You are talking about a concept of life and death vs the actual definition of life and death. Being brought back to life is a quite literal meaning. You might as well argue that everyone is only a minute away from death because if they stop breathing....
Reading for comprehension isn't your strong suit is it.
CLINICAL DEATH you twat.
“I declare bankruptcy!!!” - Michael Scott
Lol, joking aside, you are correct.
I love you
Yep when my mother died in a car crash they legally had to declare time of death at the hospital but as a Dead on Arrival as she did not make it during the trip from the scene.
I died in the hospital after an ambulance right. A doctor pronounced me dead. The emt walked by a minute later and went "bullshit he's dead he was just alive." He brought me back. But I was declares dead for a minute.
How did he bring you back? A kiss? And you just snapped out of it?
Lol no. Aed and more cpr. The doctor argued even if he did manage to bring me back my quality of life would be terrible. They got a pulse but was in a coma for two weeks till I woke up. A kiss woulda been funny though.
Lol well now I’m picturing a kiss.
Once got a lecture from someone who worked in a army hospital. He said they had a insaily high death rate in their or. Not just because of nature of the injuries, but mainly because you can't tell a soldier who just spend an hour doing cpr on his buddy in the back of a humvee that he died a while ago. You tell them good job we'll take it from here. Close the door to the or and pronaunce them death.
And unless a medical professional takes a look at you how would anyone know the heart stopped? Figured that part went without saying.
> And unless a medical professional takes a look at you how would anyone know the heart stopped? Figured that part went without saying.
Anyone can take a pulse with a bare minimum of training. Figured that part went without saying.
Low pulse can be mistaken for no pulse, especially by someone not trained. Hell I’d not trust myself to claim someone is dead based off that alone.
Exactly, that's why only a licensed doctor (or nurse, in some places) can *legally declare someone dead*.
It has nothing to do with heartbeat ceasing. You aren't *legally* dead at that point. Your heart stopped. You might be "dead" in the common usage of the word assuming no life-saving actions were taken to restart your heart, but you are not, as you intimated in your initial comment, *legally dead*.
You are never *legally* dead unless a doctor formally declares you as such. It's one of the few things TV/movies get fairly right about medicine.
Words matter. Be sure you know the actual meaning before declaring its meaning as fact.
Low rates of throwing out good surveys, error happens but if the numbers are low enough it’s perfectly normal
Do I still need to pay taxes if I am legally dead? Asking for a friend.
You don’t retain that title, so sadly yes.
One of the characters in the hitchhikers guide is introduced as being legally dead for tax purposes
if you in US then yes.
Death is absolutely taxed and is no escape from taxation - usually called an Estate Tax.
I think everyone gets a good 10 million exemption to that. So, like, you're good.
Are you saying Monte Python was right?
My heart stops for about 1/4 second, in between every beat. Does that mean I am mostly dead?
What if you did have an accident that killed you before you got to the hospital and were revived?
Gonna disregard the undead? I mean, what if Jesus were taking the survey.
Getting nailed to a cross wasn't an accident though.
I have a buddy who’s answer would be yes to this. Technically he was dead for a little bit. Not long but still dead.
Unless you’re Slash, then the answer is ‘yes’.
EDIT: Slash of Guns & Roses OD’d and was revived.
You can theoretically die in an accident and not be dead a few(and/or dozens of) minutes later.
The best example is people who die in extreme cold then are brought back to life with science, and with little to no brain damage. Then they answer that survey question properly. Like a badass.
They are not legally dead. You need to be certified by a doctor or another licensed medical practitioner to be dead.
Was I supposed to laugh at this? :p
No, you're on r/funny, there is no laughing here.
No laughing only experts in all things and hurt feelings
The opening line to the first Red Dwarf novel opens with:
“Describe, using diagrams where appropriate, the exact circumstances leading to your death.”
There's red dwarf novels?! I need more info! I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose reading fresh red dwarf books!
There’s about five or six. Got the first one signed.
Oh man that's awesome! Are they all good? I assume its still the same "cast," it almost has to be lol. Do you know if the show or books came first?
Show first the Rob Grant and Doug Naylor wrote the first two books together. They then had a falling out (afaik) and went their separate ways, each writing books that followed on from the end of the second book in two completely different directions.
Also there’s a penguin audio book of the first two read by Chris Barrie. Yes, he does the impressions.
Awesome, thanks for all the info!
Ah I see the problem - that should be a numerical dropdown list so you select how many times you accidentally died. Easy mistake to make.
“Hayato kawajiri approves this message”
"If you answered No, we'd like to talk to you about your car's extended warranty. If you answered yes...never mind."
My grandpa could technically say yes, he died for a second or two. Apparently my grandma was next to him yelling at him "Dont you die on me!".
I think he fell off of a ladder while working at a trailor park in Australia and I think had a heart attack, not sure if im mixing the stories up cause hes had a lot of accidents and i think 2 heart attacks. We dont allow him to do anything strenuous anymore, so thats why hes going gliding in a couple of weeks! For his 65th birthday present we got him.
I was asked in a life insurance questionnaire if I’d ever suffered an amputation of an arm, leg, neck, finger or toe. Of course I said yes to neck.
Confuse them by clicking Yes
I’m dead inside !!!! Are you?
"Simply Better Surveys"
Yes but I’m from Scotland so my mom made me walk it off.
"Were you killed?"
"Sadly, yes..... BUT I LIVED!"
I was dead for like 2 minutes and 12 seconds once. I get to check yes!!
Nice try Ghostbusters!
Also get to check yes. Drowned as a toddler, had to be CPRd and all that
It’s called baptism. /s
Dying on the inside count?
Well no. But if you answered yes, you could write in the space for extra comments the quote from Monty Python "The Holy Grail" ...
"I got better"
^ where my mind went for sure
I got better!
Is that after the witch turned you into a newt?
I love it when someone catches a random obscure reference!
Hehe... I aim to please! 😆
...but did you die?
sadly yes but he lived
you got that wrong
its "yes, but he sadly lived"
Just the once.
Yes, but i survived
I had a wreck decades ago. I stroked out and flatlined. No heartbeat detected for over a minute. They stopped trying to save me, and the doc prepared to call TOD. Suddenly, BEEP, BEEP.
How the hell would I answer that question?
Why yes, yes I have
I was in a boating accident where I flat lined twice. Does that count?
...I got better.
i like how at the top it says “Simply better surveys” as it resumes to say this.
Some people do die for a few moments in accidents, but then are resuscitated back to life.
“Just once… but I got better!”
My grandmother died a total of 4 times , so it’s possible
So, technically, I'd have to click "yes" on this one. I got in a car accident when I was 19 and flatlined twice. I was technically dead for a total of four minutes.
Yes i drowned and my heart stopped and was declared dead when i was a kid. Reanimation did not work. So they declared dead. Aaand i started to breath again and everybody was staring at me. Sorry for my bad english XD
Yes , twice
Yes! I mean, no! Dammit!!!
Inclusive of ghosts, bro.
Watches mouse move by itself over to yes.
Nice try RIPD, you're not going to get me that easily.
The choices should be - (1) Hell yes! or (2) Fuck, no!
Needs a third choice: "Hurrrgghhhh... braaaains...."
I wonder if this is actually a gambit specifically designed to research clickbaits and people's behaviors towards them.
It's missing the option for how many times.
Yes I have
It's a control question.
Some actually have tho.
Edit: and got revived later, ofc.
Well, I was born…
“Just the one time…”
I am now ghost
When you answer yes and you say yes because you were brought back from death some how do you qualify for it
"I'm still waiting on the test results..."
I would just put yes anyways
What happens if you click yes?
I wonder how many people have hit 'yes'? haha
"Wait, what? Haha, no, obviously not....unless this is all just my life flashing before my eyes...oh God am I dead?"
We'll start with a couple of the routine things, uhh... You and your wife are currently alive, I take it?
I have. What is the confusion?
Just my conception…
Let me think...Hmmmm. This is one of them questions they throw in there to see if your still awake I guess.
"If you are unable to answer, please ask a family member, friend or colleague"
Mabe it means Ego death
well yes but no
This is just hap recruiting people for his next round of NDE experiments
Filling out the ole heavens gate survey again...
they are just trying to weed out the ghosts
Say WHAT one more time!
Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive.
This would be an actually relevant question to ask on rehab insurance forms
It never specified who died. Could be the passenger or other driver, or driver and you were the passenger.
Technically, if your parents' contraceptive methods failed and they went ahead and birthed you anyway, that accident *will* result in your death. I suppose it could be debated whether your being alive is being *in* the accident itself.
"Simply better surveys"
But also it is likely a question to make sure you are paying attention to the survey and answering honestly. So good on you. You passed!
“Simply better surveys”
"Simply better surveys" in the background lol
This is like that one recordkeeping form I saw during an audit that starts with:
Can you read?
Something Michael Scott would ask
You may proceed to heaven.
Jesus be like : Yes
Why the fuck are people debating what qualifies as death? Yall really have nothing better to do?
I literally had the same question today. Are you using Qmee for surveys?
Robin Williams damn that sucks dude.
(Miss Robin man)
I actually get to click yes on these ones.
I dated a girl for about a year who had coded from a car accident and revived by a defibrillator, I think she would answer ‘Yes’ to this.
The person who wrote this question probably regretted it so much that he is contemplating his life decisions
Well ppl do die and get brought to life all the time ... so
oddly enough, yes
"wE hAvE tO aSk tHe qUeStIoN"
Personally, I would of said yes just to see what happens...
My answer is yes
This should be asked to people who mail in ballots, most if them would answer yes 😂
Oy! Zombies have feelings too. Probably. Depends how recently they ate relevant parts of the brain
Yes, I came back as a vampire. 😂
All the time lol
I died once, but then I got better.
I had to scroll back upward
Most likely a silly screw up, but in some cases (psychological tests, security clearance, job application) nonsense questions are intentionally added to judge if the test taker is paying attention and answering honesty.
Most of us are sure we must answer "No"... can we all say we are absolutely sure we are right?
With Halloween coming up, that seems like it could be a valid question.
I once answered yes on a medical history form about some sort of vaginal issue (I'm a guy), because I wanted to make sure they actually read it, as it often seems they don't. So my vaginal issues are in my medical chart now and my doctor gets a kick out of it.
Sadly yes… but I survived!
Well I was born, for starters.
When i see questions like this I always hope there is a way to a (you idiot) to it.
Well, technically yes.
Imagine being able to answer yes honestly.
Yes… and *no*
How do you click yes?
Why "both" is not in the choices?!??
Yes. I'm taking this test in the afterlife.
GTA 5 I'm always getting in accidents that result in my death.
Yes, when i born, i was an incident and will result me to death one day.
question: Do you speak English?