T O P

I did a double take on this one

I did a double take on this one

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MathiasReborn

I think those are meant as disqualifying questions, to make sure you are actually reading and comprehending the question. If you said yes, your survey results would be void since you didn’t care enough to read it.


bluurd

This is what I gathered too. I had a survey question once ask me if I have ever traveled in time. Not to be a dick, but we are all traveling in time...constantly. so I said yes. I was locked out of that and all future surveys. I honestly think that was a good thing for me.


MegaWaffle-

You are legally pronounced “dead” when your heart stops. So “yes” can most definitely be a valid option meaning they would be tossing some valid surveys out along with the others.


chrisfromthelc

You aren't. You're legally pronounced dead when a medical professional formally declares you dead. https://biotech.law.lsu.edu/books/lbb/x553.htm You might be "technically" dead, but you aren't legally dead until someone formally declares you so. When I worked in emergency services, there was a saying that no one dies in an ambulance, they die immediately upon arriving to a hospital.


awweaver

> You're legally pronounced dead when a medical professional formally declares you dead. Indeed. Also reminds me of this clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sStJs0fzgCc


Sylanthra

Man I wish there was an actual news channel with the integrity they portrayed in that show.


baddada1

No one is really dead until they no longer come back from it. Until then you are just nearly dead. Like if your heart stops or you cease brain function but miraculously get revived. You didnt die, you just came close.


Childnya

Heart stop would be clinical death . Ceasing brain function is irreversible and IS dead.


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resonantSoul

What's that?


might-be-your-daddy

Go through his pockets and look for loose change!


Warm-Marmalade2020

nobody thought to steal his hot gf?


lonesome_god

Humperdinck did. Hence, the whole predicament.


Maxwe4

Anybody want a peanut?


Iamfinejustfine

stop talking out of your ass about things you quite clearly do not yet comprehend. Love you boo, now go fucking read a book.


baddada1

How about YOU go read a dictionary. : a permanent cessation of all vital (see VITAL sense 2a) functions : the end of life You'll notice the key word "permamant" This was from a minute google which brought up websters dictionary. Talking out my ass indeed, I think you're only smelling your own shit eating breath.


Iamfinejustfine

Nice effort sport. but no. You are talking about a concept of life and death vs the actual definition of life and death. Being brought back to life is a quite literal meaning. You might as well argue that everyone is only a minute away from death because if they stop breathing.... [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical\_death#:\~:text=Usually%20brain%20damage%20or%20later,for%20recovery%20from%20clinical%20death](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_death#:~:text=Usually%20brain%20damage%20or%20later,for%20recovery%20from%20clinical%20death).


baddada1

Reading for comprehension isn't your strong suit is it.


Iamfinejustfine

CLINICAL DEATH you twat.


gonzo5622

“I declare bankruptcy!!!” - Michael Scott Lol, joking aside, you are correct.


Weareallsick-

I love you


Razorflight

Yep when my mother died in a car crash they legally had to declare time of death at the hospital but as a Dead on Arrival as she did not make it during the trip from the scene.


pineapple_trustfund

I died in the hospital after an ambulance right. A doctor pronounced me dead. The emt walked by a minute later and went "bullshit he's dead he was just alive." He brought me back. But I was declares dead for a minute.


halflifer2k

How did he bring you back? A kiss? And you just snapped out of it?


pineapple_trustfund

Lol no. Aed and more cpr. The doctor argued even if he did manage to bring me back my quality of life would be terrible. They got a pulse but was in a coma for two weeks till I woke up. A kiss woulda been funny though.


halflifer2k

Lol well now I’m picturing a kiss.


sebassi

Once got a lecture from someone who worked in a army hospital. He said they had a insaily high death rate in their or. Not just because of nature of the injuries, but mainly because you can't tell a soldier who just spend an hour doing cpr on his buddy in the back of a humvee that he died a while ago. You tell them good job we'll take it from here. Close the door to the or and pronaunce them death.


MegaWaffle-

And unless a medical professional takes a look at you how would anyone know the heart stopped? Figured that part went without saying.


chrisfromthelc

> And unless a medical professional takes a look at you how would anyone know the heart stopped? Figured that part went without saying. Anyone can take a pulse with a bare minimum of training. Figured that part went without saying.


MegaWaffle-

Low pulse can be mistaken for no pulse, especially by someone not trained. Hell I’d not trust myself to claim someone is dead based off that alone.


chrisfromthelc

Exactly, that's why only a licensed doctor (or nurse, in some places) can *legally declare someone dead*. It has nothing to do with heartbeat ceasing. You aren't *legally* dead at that point. Your heart stopped. You might be "dead" in the common usage of the word assuming no life-saving actions were taken to restart your heart, but you are not, as you intimated in your initial comment, *legally dead*. You are never *legally* dead unless a doctor formally declares you as such. It's one of the few things TV/movies get fairly right about medicine. Words matter. Be sure you know the actual meaning before declaring its meaning as fact.


MathiasReborn

Low rates of throwing out good surveys, error happens but if the numbers are low enough it’s perfectly normal


AngryVirginian

Do I still need to pay taxes if I am legally dead? Asking for a friend.


MegaWaffle-

You don’t retain that title, so sadly yes.


iordseyton

One of the characters in the hitchhikers guide is introduced as being legally dead for tax purposes


DanAndYale

Ford?


alexefi

if you in US then yes.


FjorgVanDerPlorg

Death is absolutely taxed and is no escape from taxation - usually called an Estate Tax.


SyrousStarr

I think everyone gets a good 10 million exemption to that. So, like, you're good.


MyKidsArentOnReddit

Are you saying Monte Python was right?


tomytronics

My heart stops for about 1/4 second, in between every beat. Does that mean I am mostly dead?


_aaronallblacks

What if you did have an accident that killed you before you got to the hospital and were revived?


thoroakenfelder

Gonna disregard the undead? I mean, what if Jesus were taking the survey.


pahco87

Getting nailed to a cross wasn't an accident though.


Bluntgirlsdoitbest

I have a buddy who’s answer would be yes to this. Technically he was dead for a little bit. Not long but still dead.


HumanChicken

Unless you’re Slash, then the answer is ‘yes’. EDIT: Slash of Guns & Roses OD’d and was revived.


py_a_thon

You can theoretically die in an accident and not be dead a few(and/or dozens of) minutes later. The best example is people who die in extreme cold then are brought back to life with science, and with little to no brain damage. Then they answer that survey question properly. Like a badass.


tomoldbury

They are not legally dead. You need to be certified by a doctor or another licensed medical practitioner to be dead.


py_a_thon

Brainnnnnnnz. BRAINZZZZZZZZ!


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MathiasReborn

Was I supposed to laugh at this? :p


SSBoe

No, you're on r/funny, there is no laughing here.


Weareallsick-

No laughing only experts in all things and hurt feelings


Silent_Palpatine

The opening line to the first Red Dwarf novel opens with: “Describe, using diagrams where appropriate, the exact circumstances leading to your death.”


Billwood92

There's red dwarf novels?! I need more info! I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose reading fresh red dwarf books!


Silent_Palpatine

There’s about five or six. Got the first one signed.


Billwood92

Oh man that's awesome! Are they all good? I assume its still the same "cast," it almost has to be lol. Do you know if the show or books came first?


Silent_Palpatine

Show first the Rob Grant and Doug Naylor wrote the first two books together. They then had a falling out (afaik) and went their separate ways, each writing books that followed on from the end of the second book in two completely different directions. Also there’s a penguin audio book of the first two read by Chris Barrie. Yes, he does the impressions.


Billwood92

Awesome, thanks for all the info!


Adam_Gill_1965

Ah I see the problem - that should be a numerical dropdown list so you select how many times you accidentally died. Easy mistake to make.


Dinosoaringhigh

“Hayato kawajiri approves this message”


Navitach

"If you answered No, we'd like to talk to you about your car's extended warranty. If you answered yes...never mind."


Yolom4ntr1c

My grandpa could technically say yes, he died for a second or two. Apparently my grandma was next to him yelling at him "Dont you die on me!". I think he fell off of a ladder while working at a trailor park in Australia and I think had a heart attack, not sure if im mixing the stories up cause hes had a lot of accidents and i think 2 heart attacks. We dont allow him to do anything strenuous anymore, so thats why hes going gliding in a couple of weeks! For his 65th birthday present we got him.


LordScree

“You dead?” [“Ya man”](https://youtu.be/kEIfp1Uvoqc)


nuttynutkick

I was asked in a life insurance questionnaire if I’d ever suffered an amputation of an arm, leg, neck, finger or toe. Of course I said yes to neck.


Bri1203

Confuse them by clicking Yes


Alternative-Layer919

I’m dead inside !!!! Are you?


GrapeSeeker72

"Simply Better Surveys"


SlOwMosis

Yes but I’m from Scotland so my mom made me walk it off.


himdedemk

"Were you killed?" "Sadly, yes..... BUT I LIVED!" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcv4SKCpKKs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0H-rjz4xSA)


MichaelJVader

I was dead for like 2 minutes and 12 seconds once. I get to check yes!!


demilitarizdsm

Nice try Ghostbusters!


StressPersonified

Also get to check yes. Drowned as a toddler, had to be CPRd and all that


fortunate420

It’s called baptism. /s


MellowEX

Dying on the inside count?


grapehelium

Well no. But if you answered yes, you could write in the space for extra comments the quote from Monty Python "The Holy Grail" ... "I got better"


asdvancity

^ where my mind went for sure


Beautiful-Flatworm94

I got better!


Navitach

Is that after the witch turned you into a newt?


Beautiful-Flatworm94

I love it when someone catches a random obscure reference!


Navitach

Hehe... I aim to please! 😆


ilivehigh247

...but did you die?


supercumrag69

sadly yes but he lived


SubZerr0h

you got that wrong its "yes, but he sadly lived"


Tradman86

Just the once.


Cynical12313

Yes, but i survived


bunchkles

I had a wreck decades ago. I stroked out and flatlined. No heartbeat detected for over a minute. They stopped trying to save me, and the doc prepared to call TOD. Suddenly, BEEP, BEEP. How the hell would I answer that question?


Whysoitchy

Why yes, yes I have


FBI_Agent_82

I was in a boating accident where I flat lined twice. Does that count?


PillowTalk420

Yes. ...I got better.


ItsRespect

i like how at the top it says “Simply better surveys” as it resumes to say this.


Healthy_Display5650

Some people do die for a few moments in accidents, but then are resuscitated back to life.


Lleth88

“Just once… but I got better!”


Sada331

My grandmother died a total of 4 times , so it’s possible


FemshepsBabyDaddy

So, technically, I'd have to click "yes" on this one. I got in a car accident when I was 19 and flatlined twice. I was technically dead for a total of four minutes.


SenseiBonsai

Yes i drowned and my heart stopped and was declared dead when i was a kid. Reanimation did not work. So they declared dead. Aaand i started to breath again and everybody was staring at me. Sorry for my bad english XD


Diff4rent1

Yes , twice


GodEmperorOfHell

Yes! I mean, no! Dammit!!!


kitaknows

Inclusive of ghosts, bro.


withaph64

Watches mouse move by itself over to yes.


Available_Primary528

Nice try RIPD, you're not going to get me that easily.


littleMAS

The choices should be - (1) Hell yes! or (2) Fuck, no!


Hinermad

Needs a third choice: "Hurrrgghhhh... braaaains...."


DukeDevorak

I wonder if this is actually a gambit specifically designed to research clickbaits and people's behaviors towards them.


mundozeo

It's missing the option for how many times.


James-the-Bond-one

Yes. Twice.


someguywhowantsmemes

Yes I have


Aceticon

It's a control question.


WRKDBF_Guy

Click "Yes"


IronclawFTW

Some actually have tho. Edit: and got revived later, ofc.


samfar51

Well, I was born…


Amrokmfc

“Just the one time…”


khoolboy

I am now ghost


josh_smashes

When you answer yes and you say yes because you were brought back from death some how do you qualify for it


virgilreality

"I'm still waiting on the test results..."


KiraZinema

I would just put yes anyways


HungryHyenaGaming

What happens if you click yes?


KahlanEAmnelle

I wonder how many people have hit 'yes'? haha


FudgeOfDarkness

"Wait, what? Haha, no, obviously not....unless this is all just my life flashing before my eyes...oh God am I dead?"


c0wg0d

We'll start with a couple of the routine things, uhh... You and your wife are currently alive, I take it?


Iamfinejustfine

I have. What is the confusion?


ThievingOwl

Just my conception…


Lopsided-Lavishness1

r/QuantumImmortality


NotUrGenre

Let me think...Hmmmm. This is one of them questions they throw in there to see if your still awake I guess.


ARobertNotABob

"If you are unable to answer, please ask a family member, friend or colleague"


Mijo_0

Mabe it means Ego death


SINGLEBOT99

well yes but no


I_aim_to_sneeze

This is just hap recruiting people for his next round of NDE experiments


SkullRunner

Filling out the ole heavens gate survey again...


Little_ivory_fox

they are just trying to weed out the ghosts


sparkythewondersnail

Say WHAT one more time!


crazybaker42

Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive.


Agar_agar_binx

This would be an actually relevant question to ask on rehab insurance forms


Yakassa

Yes lol


Billwood92

It never specified who died. Could be the passenger or other driver, or driver and you were the passenger.


mexicodoug

Technically, if your parents' contraceptive methods failed and they went ahead and birthed you anyway, that accident *will* result in your death. I suppose it could be debated whether your being alive is being *in* the accident itself.


junglejims

"Simply better surveys" But also it is likely a question to make sure you are paying attention to the survey and answering honestly. So good on you. You passed!


Obvious-Walrus-2018

“Simply better surveys”


Selnay

"Simply better surveys" in the background lol


bossbang

This is like that one recordkeeping form I saw during an audit that starts with: Can you read? Yes No


ferah11

Something Michael Scott would ask


jramos037

Yes. You may proceed to heaven.


jemki10

🤦‍♀️😂


The10axe

Jesus be like : Yes


Dantheman616

Why the fuck are people debating what qualifies as death? Yall really have nothing better to do?


sygnifax

I literally had the same question today. Are you using Qmee for surveys?


Al3x_5

“Yes” Robin Williams damn that sucks dude. “Yeah. Realization*” (Miss Robin man)


mudman13

Ghost trap!


pineapple_trustfund

I actually get to click yes on these ones.


FunkMasta-Blue

I dated a girl for about a year who had coded from a car accident and revived by a defibrillator, I think she would answer ‘Yes’ to this.


MysterioLad

The person who wrote this question probably regretted it so much that he is contemplating his life decisions


[deleted]

Well ppl do die and get brought to life all the time ... so


jeremyroastscoffee

oddly enough, yes


CynicalTroll

"wE hAvE tO aSk tHe qUeStIoN"


DavidinCT

Personally, I would of said yes just to see what happens...


Icy_Ambassador386

My answer is yes


[deleted]

This should be asked to people who mail in ballots, most if them would answer yes 😂


mrtylerwu

yes


CaptainAlexy

Well, obviously…


Jmazoso

I got better!


Baconpwn2

Oy! Zombies have feelings too. Probably. Depends how recently they ate relevant parts of the brain


Justbrutallyme

Yes, I came back as a vampire. 😂


Badboy_5214

All the time lol


ShinyHappyMeeples

I died once, but then I got better.


MotherfuckerMaybeIAm

Several, actually.


Fancy_Truck3426

Maybe


Lexy_d_acnh

*hits yes*


EssentiallySurreal

I had to scroll back upward


hhmb8k

Most likely a silly screw up, but in some cases (psychological tests, security clearance, job application) nonsense questions are intentionally added to judge if the test taker is paying attention and answering honesty.


throwAWSTAM

Most of us are sure we must answer "No"... can we all say we are absolutely sure we are right?


ShakeMyHeadSadly

With Halloween coming up, that seems like it could be a valid question.


AdmiralAucka

I once answered yes on a medical history form about some sort of vaginal issue (I'm a guy), because I wanted to make sure they actually read it, as it often seems they don't. So my vaginal issues are in my medical chart now and my doctor gets a kick out of it.


aircaptainone

Sadly yes… but I survived!


Dently

First Time?


ImSuperCereus

Well I was born, for starters.


LazyCouchGamer

When i see questions like this I always hope there is a way to a (you idiot) to it.


BloodyLenses

Well, technically yes.


[deleted]

Imagine being able to answer yes honestly.


bentautumn

Yes… and *no*


halflifer2k

How do you click yes?


ALSRAAAAA

Why "both" is not in the choices?!??


johannPog

Yes. I'm taking this test in the afterlife.


Ricknroll1971

GTA 5 I'm always getting in accidents that result in my death.


Kalix

Yes, when i born, i was an incident and will result me to death one day.


Papichuloft

question: Do you speak English? response: SI