T O P
ptq

Larry Craft


Major_R_Soul

Womb Evader


sweetbunsmcgee

Thong Sniffer


BrodeBoy87

Probably a military or an Academy reject…bet he is a security guard


EchoPhi

Womb Invader would have been the pinnacle


neologismist_

Yeah, that choad has never been near a vagina, except on day 1.


Far_Reaction_5621

Flawless execution. Happy cake day.


fullmanlybeard

Tomb Creeper


highestofthelow

Larper Croft


aqxea2500

If I was a bad guy. He is the first one I would blast. Sometimes it's better to conceal what you have. All I see is a huge target.


throwawayoctopii

Yup. We are an open carry state but hardly anyone open carries because it makes you a gigantic target.


CardiologistCalm6232

He's like a walking gun safe I mean why more than two guns when you only have two hands? Forget reloading I'll do that after I empty all of them.


Eternal_Bagel

someone doing open carry looks indistinguishable from a shooter that just isn't in position yet


Tiny-Lock9652

And an equally gigantic douchebag.


Cuthbert_Allgood19

It makes you a gigantic something, anyway


juni4ling

And four guns and lots of ammo. One guy goes down and the bad guy now has lots of extra everything.


alchmst1259

Walking lootbox


NoobSFAnon

Just a fry pan missing


robilar

EA is probably trying to monetize him


Masterzanteka

Exactly what I was thinking, like 4 guns like this just puts yourself in more danger. If someone wanted to grab one he couldn’t do shit besides fighting for the one or by grabbing one of the other 3 and hoping he could shoot first. This guy is a fucking idiot no matter how you slice it imo


nooneknowswerealldog

>hoping he could shoot first. Even that's no guarantee: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gunslinger\_effect


WumpusFails

I've read akimbo is very hard to pull off. He'd probably be better ditching two guns to carry more ammo, or other options like a taser or pepper spray. Does he think he's in the Matrix?


Someoneoverthere42

Why? Anyone who treats guns like fashion accessories is clearly saying "I have no idea how to use these"


Aporkalypse_Sow

With this lame ass wide stance for "stable footing", punt his nuts and disarm him.


Alexander_The_Wolf

This. Soo much this. I absolutely respect the legal right for open carry, but if you actually want to protect yourself from a bad guy, stealth and the element of suprise are some of your best tools


134608642

Alternatively you just steal one of the guns attached to his thigh then shoot him. That way you don’t even have to worry about getting a gun first.


Murica-n_Patriot

And what you don’t see if a very small penis…


tbass1965

That's an insult to men with small penises.


IWantToBeSimplyMe

Such as that man.


aqxea2500

Probably drives an f250 with huge offroad tires that only see asphalt.


Scottynoes915

This 100%


Gold_Pumpkin

My lucky day! This guy dropped so much loot!


Over-Supermarket-557

Sir.... this is a Subway.


The_amazing_T

He's very scared. In *any* restaurant.


Rolandscythe

....the worst part is that I'm pretty sure a practiced robber or veteran gang member could unholster those lower pistols from behind and have them in his back before he could respond while wearing that dumbass getup.


projectmat1

I gues thats why he has 4 lol he know


TTBoy44

The ironic thing is that, should someone mean harm, a quick tap to the back of the head would get you enough guns and ammo for a serious massacre.


anonimouse81

Oh yeah. This guy is a loot drop waiting to happen.


schneph

Can’t imagine what he’s got at home too


Final-Lingonberry-64

Most likely an abused wife.


KorungRai

Tell me you have raging insecurities and fear everything outside your control without telling me you have raging insecurities and fear everything outside your control.


Chrisboi_da_Boi

This guy just desperately wants any reason to murder someone who he thinks is a threat in public.


ohbenito

that might be whats going in between his ears. what has happened in reality is he just set a big flag that say shoot me first. or run up and kick me in the balls from behind and laugh as you walk away.


HeftyFineThereFolks

the gun nut slight of hand is to become as menacing as possible then when someone acts the slightest bit apprehensive of your aggression murder them in self-defense


Agile_Pudding_

And this is the same kind of person who will reply “SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED!” if anyone dares ask “why do you need to carry four firearms?”


HeyZuesHChrist

Yup. He has a murder fantasy.


srschwenzjr

I feel bad for the first person to cut him off in traffic


TinCanSailor987

In his home too. This is the guy that says shit like ”I wIsH sOmeONe WoUld TRy tO bReaK inTo mY hOMe!!”. Completely disregarding his family’s safety for the opportunity to shoot someone.


Comfortable_Skin_108

That's what the police are for


kxbrown

Micro dick energy


jay_skrilla

Big innie energy.


BazilBroketail

Look at his legs. He can barely hold up all those guns...


Rubberbabybuggybum

I WILL NOT LIVE IN FEAR!!!


Creepy-Solution

I thought the writing was on his shirt for some sort of ironic stunt


vanillaluckycharms

That’s the only way your brain could possibly make this make sense 😅 otherwise…oh, I see. he’s just a gun-crazy guy.


MrAnderzon

He’s the general grievous of raging insecurities


ChuckBorris187

All this is very necessary to protect his virginity.


Rolandscythe

Can't have sex if no one can find your dick.


ChuckBorris187

They keep looking for it but he always points them to his very hard guns. They're always hard.


yourAverageN00b

They thought it was my cock but my glock very hard - Tay-K


ChuckBorris187

JfC, just googled that name, another dumbass ruined his life.


RockstarAgent

Against zombie dick invasion…he is prepared.


MyMonte94

Pretty sure it’s safe all on its own


ChuckBorris187

Now it's extra safe.


uglymule

looks like he's wearing a dental dam but might just be a mask


ChuckBorris187

I was surprised he wears a mask. So strange.


uglymule

robbery in progress?


Vegetable_Aside_4312

You win - contest over.


No_Abrocoma_158

If dude had 4 arms it would make more sense to me.


NoPickleNoTickle767

Cashier: "Hello there" This guy: "General Kenobi"


thinehappychinch

You are a bold one.


Different_Pattern273

Perhaps he hunts down other open carry nuts and then screams, "Ah it will make a fine addition to my collection..."


mistah_sinister

Dude seen Boondock Saints too many times.


BondageKitty37

Or not enough. Il Duce had 6 guns and a custom vest to hold them. This dude probably waddles when he walks


vanillaluckycharms

All that equipment probably squeaks and rubs against each other. I hope every time he walks it sounds like he’s tooting. 😂😂😂


Deneweth

THIS MF GOIN TOMB RAIDIN


BladeOfSanghilios8

General grevious irl


Blackfire01001

Tell me you're a victim with no training without telling me your victim with no training.


Cthulhu625

Because otherwise the King of England could come here and start pushing you around! Do you want that? Huh? Do ya?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Justin_Uddaguy

*MICRO* penis


OMGitsTK447

*nano penis


Justin_Uddaguy

Nah. NO penis


Fathorse23

“The Innie”.


prey4mojo

The wormhole


pin00ch

Its all about the girth.


horseheadmonster

So small he pee's on his balls every time.


arentol

You are shitting on the self esteem of men with small penises, doing no harm to the man or other gun owners who on average have average size penises, and you aren't being witty in the slightest. There is no proven correlation between dick size and any of the behaviors you hate, like owning large trucks and carrying guns. So even in person making a joke about small dicks doesn't generally hurt the person you don't like in the slightest, but innocent bystanders with small dicks are harmed. Small dick jokes only serve to shame bystanders who often suffer serious mental issues due to the massive body shaming they face due to something outside their control. It's an asshole move to make these jokes, every time.


OvenIcy8646

But couldn’t you just club him over the head and now you have 4 guns ???


z0mbiemechanic

Yes. And that's why he's an idiot.


ohbenito

a swift boot to the nuts does the job.


a44328765

Wouldn't that all just make him target number 1 for a "bad guy with a gun"?


No-Standard9405

Bingo!


FoobarWreck

Is it bad to say “I hope so”?


612stone

It’s dangerous cosplay, nothing more. He’s living out his fantasy no matter how stupid it is.


emailusernamepasswrd

I would play devil's advocate and say he came from a shooting competition but there's no way to drive with that shit on your hips, so he's just being a tool making the rest of responsible gun owners look bad. As is tradition -_-


Kylar_13

You usually only carry a single handgun for a handgun competition...but you have more ammo strapped to your person than Ahnold and Stallone in 80s action movies combined. This guy...just cleared out the store faster than a 700 lb eating contest champ. At least, I know I'd de-ass the area if I see that shit.


juni4ling

He would get laughed at at a shooting competition. <—— gun owner. No one carries four guns like that. Drop leg holsters have your gun bump anything and everything. Gunslingers (those who fight for a living) will carry a shotgun or rifle and a pistol on the hip. Usually a rifle, usually a m-16 or m-4. The main gun in a two-way exchange is the “long gun” which is more powerful and accurate. The handgun is really only for backup. This guy is communicating that he is an idiot.


Baulderdash77

Exactly! 1 rifle, 6 spare clips and 1 pistol, 2 spare clips is the real maximum firepower situation. 4 pistols is a joke.


juni4ling

Yeah, clown shoes.


Mac_Mustard

Competition pistols are almost never carried for self-defense purposes. They are specifically modified for the competition. it’s not even comfortable to drive around like that. Lol.


Fuck_dogwhistles

Here’s why/j ![gif](giphy|2S3Aj8OeKtf0c)


live-the-future

\*jerbs


itsJussaMe

I’m a 2nd amendment supporter and American gun owner. I can answer OP’s question: This is necessary so we don’t accidentally befriend a *nutjob*. He’s flying his flag for our benefit so we can avoid him.


BigChiGUy722

Because he's going tomb raiding later.


dalcarr

He’s obviously General Grievous


arcadia_2005

Bc his peepee is smaller than a frightened turtle.


NoPickleNoTickle767

Are his shorts on backwards?


[deleted]

I adore the irony that he is doing all that to appear more masculine, but the combination of unflattering shorts and awkward length holsters just looks comical.


SWJS1

Guy might as well carry a neon sign saying "I have a very tiny penis."


Twinmomwineaddict

Because he thinks that we think he's sooo cool now


Mac_Mustard

I promise you, he can’t use the bathroom when he’s out in public. Side note: probably for the kudzu


EB123456789101112

That side note had me spit out my drink picturing ol boy going Rambo on some vines 💀💀💀


Mac_Mustard

😭😂🤣


hide_thechildren_now

Speaking of this guy and bathrooms: he practices karate moves towards the mirror before washing his hands


32-percent

Yall are missing the point. He's wearing all that to frame his ass. Shouldve taken everything out of the backpockets tho :/


Away_Improvement_676

"My peepee is wee-wee, but with my pewpew, I feel so kewlkewl"


LazyAssedAmbassador

He’s just letting everyone know he fucks.


Kbdiggity

Repost https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/vyt3q3/me_too/ https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/sgm0uj/me_too_thanks/


huexolotl

Tiny pp. He probably has one of those big fucking trucks too.


maziar37

In case some lady tries to steal his virginity


joeyg334

Telling the world you have a small cock without actually saying, "hey world, I am hung like a field mouse"


TheGeenie17

‘Merica


only7inches

He gets to wear his "penis enlargers" to compensate him for being made to wear a mask...


electriceagle

That’s a snowflake for sure.


whatwhy2020

It makes his little pp feel bigger!


[deleted]

bakeries are well known trouble spots...you should see the chaos at greggs on a saturday morning..


regular_lamp

So do people like this actually practice dual wielding pistols to make sure they are able to make use of them? I highly doubt it because anyone trying that would quickly learn that guns don't work like they do in video games.


dickmidget

That looks really really really dumb.


Scene1Take5

Oh … he is a dog soul … anxiety safety … safety anxiety


JediChris8585

This idiot clearly doesn’t know shit about guns. He just looks pathetic😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣


serenityfalconfly

You never know when or where an intadimensional portal will open up spewing insectoid invaders.


Agitated_Ocelot9449

This ass hat wants to look cool, but he's using thigh holsters issued to someone that was in the Army that he probably bought from a surplus store, and he's wearing shorts lmao 🤣 😂


AllAboutTheGoatLife

Don’t be mean. He obviously tried to wear pants but couldn’t handle the weight of all that extra material. His poor legs are ready to snap as is :(


daiwilly

Tell me you have a mental illness without telling me you have a mental illness.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Own-Ganache8653

How else do incels signal to each other, short of whipping out their pencil dicks??


aredddit

He’s being ironic right…. right?


Odd-Jupiter

Need something to compensate for those thighs.


ForeignCommand5700

Dickless and paranoid AF


SupremeTemptation

Because Call of Duty cosplay.


Loose_Sun_169

Seriously. What the actual fuck


degeneratesumbitch

He doesn't even have a rifle for mid to long range engagements, what an idiot.


DickySchmidt33

At a fuckin Subway, no less.


Key-Photo-336

Compensation for Covid Penis


Smarterthanthat

Small penis mentality..


Roguebagger

Are you sure he’s not cosplaying Lara Croft Tomb Raider?


DubbyMazlo

Overcompensation...


Slowspines

Must be a bad shot. Can’t help but picture this guy walking down the street like Robocop with all that on.


Puzzleheaded-Ad-119

Small penis energy detected.


mysuperstition

Overcompensating


Tinker107

"Peepee nonfunctional. Must compensate."


amx05462

because hes scared of something...and because morons gotta moron


BillFederal6625

Toxic male trying to distract you from his disappearing ass.


3LChongo

It won't add inches to your dick


stoatfacelanust

He just wants everyone to know he has a micro-penis


[deleted]

Because carrying guns is necessary to keep Murica free from oppression and big government. I mean, if a Marine Corps Platoon would show up and take this guy's freedumbs away, he is ready!


ThatsNotThePoint-__-

That guys just looking for an excuse to kill


_Dova69_

His pants look like they are on backwards


SaltyMudpuppy

In a shooting incident, this guy is the first target.


metkja

Smol pp


Successful-Frame-498

Small pee pee


MNConcerto

He should just carry a sign that says I have a very fragile ego and a tiny penis, because that is all I can think when I see that kind of desperate display.


Awkward-Ring6182

He’s prepared. Never know what drastic measures he’s gonna have to take if they screw up his order /s


ablackscot

Don’t police get involved when an individual is having a mental health crisis?


PowellSkier

Tiny dick. 'Nuff said.


MundaneConclusion246

Yesterday I went to a college football game and there were security guards walking around with AR-15s. Crazy


escargeaux

Mental illness


Lylire21

Must defend small dick!


Dragoon7748

Speaking from a strictly utlitarian standpoint, if for some reason he needs that much fire power, he would be much better off with one gun, and a bunch of mags for it. Unless of course he is General Grievous from Star Wars that is.


Rando1974

Or Il Duce from Boondock Saints


Dragoon7748

He would need a few more for that lol


RunInRunOn

I'm not this prepared in a zombie survival videogame


catchunxttuesday

Coming straight from the gay tomb raider sequel


ydykmmdt

Because…. Why did you shoot the victim: He reached for my gun.


-KCS-Violator

"I can stay up as late as I want too!"


oldsilver007

I blame this on his upbringing and maybe genetics. Maybe he wasn’t allowed to play video games?


zenkaimagine_fan

He has 4 guns. Tf does he think he is general grievous. (They could also be tazers I don’t know guns. The only guns I can identify are power rangers blasters and transformers artillery.)


melouofs

He belongs in a mental hospital


whippet66

Because he has a very tiny pee-pee, and he is very insecure about anyone finding out.


Most-Artichoke5028

How else is he going to compensate for his microscopic penis?


ladycarpenter

What a snowflake


emeegee13

It’s not he’s just afraid of… well, everything


Individual_Wasabi_10

It’s necessary to tell the public that there’s a tiny penis under there.


quadrangle3136

Small penis syndrome


tbass1965

I'd really like context! Is he a training officer in a luch break?, a vendor selling holsters at a gun show? A shooter getting lunch before he gets busy? Trying to impress a girl at the sandwich shop? Or just, "I don't need a reason, it's my right!" ?


billey_bon3z

So are you scared? By what?


Canyouhelpmeottawa

Cause he has a small dick


ThatOneGamerXD

Because if there’s a bad guy he can just throw everyone a gun! 4 people with a gun is better than one! 🤩🤩


[deleted]

its so when an event happens, he can arm/recruit 3 deputies to arrest a terrorist/criminal


DBRespawned

Mosquitoes are small and his aim is bad.


Umba5308

Biggest facepalm, he puts his phone in his back pocket


Gloverboy6

Tell me you have a micro dick without telling me you have a micro dick


FinalBat4515

Bet this guy has a MASSIVE personality


Weird-Ingenuity97

One pistol is more than enough, seriously


hunterderpp

Yea the mask isn't even needed. Lil overkill.


ExtensionInformal911

So, people have to justify exercising their rights? It's dumb to have that much, but he can do it if he wants.


HAND7Z

Don't normally see guns and masks go together.


highvelocitypeasoup

I'm willing to bet just for the memes