I wish I was never abused
By - yellowblue12349
Hi. Please hang in there and call 911 if you are seriously going to hurt yourself. You matter more than you think.
I have also struggled with this stream of consciousness. The other day I was just so angry at myself because I’m so changed from my trauma and I spent about 5 hours researching publications on how to heal trauma from a psychologist perspective so I could somehow scientifically treat myself. I learned that thats not possible and it’s okay. Something terrible happened. But that PTSD and anxiety is your body stuck in that fight/flight mode because your brain chemically thinks you are still in danger.
So - based off this post you are actually starting to heal believe it or not! That’s a good thing. Incredible even. You have been able to recognize people have wronged you and you are becoming self aware of what has happened. That’s awesome. Not awesome that it happened but it’s a good sign. Victims won’t ever fully heal but you’ll learn how to cope and one day you might be an advocate to make sure none of this happens to anyone else again.
You are not attention seeking. I believe you. You are human. You are good. Cling to what is good.
This is such a thoughtful response. I know it’s not for me, but it helps me too.
I hope you’re feeling less awful today.
Hello. I see you and I feel your pain. I really do.
Is there anything at all that brings you comfort? Anything that makes you feel a little bit safe?
I have a teddy bear. I watch cartoon movies, the ones without love stories, when I’m at my worst. I am no therapist, but I can virtually hold your hand. I understand. I’ve let people defiled me as an adult because of the sheer horror I felt inside.
But we can do it. We can overcome this.
Haha, my mom was just beating me. And reddit is my comfort place, which is why I'm here. I hate life.
Ah crap ow you didn’t deserve that- I hope you’re okay