it's been a week since my ex fiance broke up with me

exactly a week ago when he broke up with me. then I found out after 3days that he's already dating the girl who he said to me "not to worry about". the pain is very excruciating. im asking myself everyday if I really deserve this kind of pain. im just glad i survived this week. and im hoping that i can survive another week again. Im just keeping in my mind that I need to be okay and healthy for my baby.


Sorry to hear that OP but this is all fresh. Take your time healing.


yes i will ♥️


You will survive… you will have a better life now than if you married him. He’s not trustworthy.


Honestly he is not worth the pain. It's just a waste of your time. I have been in a similiar situation and it took me years to get out of it. I am fine now and all the pain was just a waste of my life time.


all the accusations and hurtful words he told me hurts the most i just realized that it's all just an excuse to exit the relationship. im happy for you! i hope I'll be over with this soon.


I do understand your pain. It's just the worst I ever went through. It might be helpful to write down all his faults, and you should be really mean and petty while doing so. Don't ever show to anyone. Keep it close to you and take it out if you ever feel like getting in contact again. Maybe you have some ideas to treat yourself well. Stuff you did stop doing because of him? Do it again.


Yes im already planning some stuff that i used to do before the start of our relationship. It's been really hard for me to adjust because we have a weekly routine. But week by week im sure i will get through this with the help of my family and friends.


>we have a weekly routine. Filling time after a break up is really difficult. You never really understand exactly how much of your day to day schedule runs in conjunction with your partner, until they're gone and you suddenly have all this spare time to fill. I'm glad to hear you're already planning on going back to old hobbies, and now is the perfect time to pick up a few more! Emotionally, it's still going to suck, but slowly you'll heal, and you'll have a few new skills when you're ready to move on. You can do this.


You dodged a bullet not marrying him. She is getting a cheater. This is a pattern. A woman who dates a man with this type of behavior is doomed to the same fate. Yes, your baby will get all the love from mommy. That's the most important person & future to think about. A real man in the future when you least expect it will love you both. That man will see you as the opportunity the ex gave him to be in your life. For now treat yourself nice. Plan a trip & take one even if by yourself. Your freedom to do so is here.


Exactly this. People who cheat or move on really quickly usually don't have time to change themselves for the better and it can result in them repeating the same patterns like they did with their past partner. OP will have time to heal whilst the other woman will get a cheater as a partner. Hoping OP will get a loving, loyal husband when they're ready


im sorry youre going through this bro..manifesting “cheaters never prosper” for your ex


How do you know he cheated ? What if he broke up with op so he does not have to cheat?


Come on 3 days after you broke off your engagement you got together with the new girl? At the very least theres emotional cheating going on


In that case, it's emotional cheat - everyone feels that spark when things might be going to be more then just co-workes/friends. The ex choose to stay in contact with the new spark, thus making way for this to happen. Which is basic investing i someone else....you don't invest in someone else when you're in a relationship, that is cheating on emotional level imo What do you think?


I tried to talk to him and the girl that im not comfortable with what they are doing. But instead of staying away and distancing them selves from each other they got more closer than ever from hanging out most everyday


So was his choice. Even tho unethical, the one who cheats is to blame/true problem. But now you know, he might also cheat on her later on, once a rat...always a rat...


Just get through one day at a time.


right now you must be going through a lot of pain and surely now you are not very clear about what the future will be like but everything will be fine, it will not only be this week, you will survive a lifetime without him, in the future this moment will come to your mind and you will see that it was for better, sometimes bad things happen but they open the door for something much better, you are strong, little by little you will heal


thank you ♥️ i need to be strong for my baby now


I understand completely where you are coming from. It physically hurts. It took me a decade to get over my ex who cheated. Seeing his beautiful ex girlfriend (his girlfriend after me who he shares two children with) made me realise he was (and is) a complete loser. I saw her during lockdown with her new boyfriend. Meanwhile our ex is still driving his old car around, he is single and I am comforted by the fact he has proved himself to be a loser. I always thought it was because I was too old (he wanted someone younger), not pretty enough, not skinny enough. But I realised it has nothing to do with me. This guy was incapable of being a full-time father to his children. EDIT: To clarify, immediately after He broke up with the mother of his two young children he was going out and dating this woman who looked like his own mother (he called his mother “mumsy”) and the relationship he had with her was weird. The woman he broke up with looked completely broken for a while. Then I saw she started dating and going out and making friends and I was so happy for her. She lives near me now and I’m so thankful that he is not in my life. You can take some consolation that his child support future payments will cause fractures in his new relationship. Make sure you breastfeed for as long as you can. It will mean he can’t have overnights if your baby is exclusively breastfed and still having milk during the night.


that's why i believe in karma. im not expecting anything from him when he said he doesn't care about the baby anymore and i can do whatever i want.


If it's his baby, you should expect (and receive) child support. Don't let him off the hook for that. Your baby and you deserve your best lives.


I already took some steps to do that for now he said he's gonna support the baby but he blocked me on everything. I also told him that im open to do a paternity test if he wants as he asked me if i ever cheat on him while we are in relationship.


Think hard about what you want. Can you afford this baby on your own? If so, don't name him as father.


It sucks, learn from it and move on, time is the real healer, try meditation, take it one day at a time Try to see what you have in life for to be thankful for You’ll be fine but please give it time, one day this will be a distance memory x


thank you ♥️ im just looking forward for my baby. need to take care of myself because there's a human inside of me that needs me now.


So sorry this has happened but as other posters noted your ex is some piece of work. Realize the hurt is new and painful but totally agree you need to focus on your baby. You should consider getting a lawyer lined up now as they should be able to handle the child support as well as explain your options as applies to custody and visitation. If you can’t afford a lawyer then reach out directly to the agency that handles child support and discuss with them. Understand this will be hard but you making informed decisions based on best information available now ideally will save you trouble in the future. A big hug from internet stranger.


our situation is a bit more complicated as we are not from the same country. But I already did some steps regarding that im just hoping something will happen but if not it's fine. I already accept the fact that I'll be raising my baby on my own.


Sorry to hear, OP. I had a very similar scenario with my ex husband..... Look after yourself, take time to heal x


Oh this happened to me. He never contacted me at all during my pregnancy through til she was 4 years old . Him and the woman they lasted 4 years. Bought homes and pets and he even payed for her 3 childrens schooling. Never still til this day spent a dime on our kid. He has one child only which is our daughter. I felt sick for years. Crying on the floor daily praying to God for healing and to be set free. Today they are separated and now he has to figure out life by himself. She was taking care of him financially. Now he’s alone but still seeking his next victim. I believe he’s a sex addict and has no morals. On paper he’s a college graduate and not a thug at all. Regular guys can be garbage too. I healed myself by taking all that anger and going to nursing school. Put it into hard work instead of letting myself go. Now he’s all alone and I’m a thriving nurse who can afford to take care of her child and herself without a man’s help.


He’s not worth it! You deserve better and the trash took itself out. It’s a good thing he did it before the wedding. Focus on yourself and the baby. Surround yourself with family and friends. May he and his new girlfriend have a miserable life together!


hurtful part as a woman to a woman? the new girl knew im pregnant from the start.


There is no woman to woman, that BS doesn't exist. That is not even a factor in her mind. Women are selfish, if we really want something, we will go after it.


and she literally pick the guy who is she knows engaged and expecting a baby soon.


But if he really loved you, she could have been standing naked next to him and he wouldn’t have noticed. Everything bad that happens to us is a lesson and makes us stronger. Take him to court girl and if your state is one of those that allow you to sue the partner, do it. She knowingly went after him even though he was engaged. Take him for all he’s worth!


the first argument about this co-worker he said to me that there's nothing between them and he would not cheat on me or do something that I'd be upset because he loves me and our baby and he doesn't want to fuck a coworker because it's disgusting. And I think he's full now because he ate his words. at first I don't want to hate or hold a grudge to the girl because it's my ex who accept and keep inviting her but im like she knew im pregnant and i talked to her about me being not comfortable that she's hanging out with my fiance that time i even told her to set some boundaries to herself if she knew that a guy has already a fiance who is also pregnant but she didn't stop.


Neither did he….Obviously he doesn’t find it disgusting anymore. Partners who get defensive the most are the ones most likely to cheat. My husband has never told me that he’d never cheat on me and he’s very open with me. You had a gut feeling about their relationship. See the difference?


You will get through this. There will be a time where it's easy to feel joy again, persevere!


The pain will eventually go away and one day you'll be like..hey there's so much more out there. Stay strong for you and your baby ❤️


yes i believe in that! thank you ♥️


I’ve been here, he was not my fiancé but you will get through this. And really the only way out is through. Be gentle with yourself, treat yourself like a best friend and watch how much you grow from this.


He’s not worth it, are you sure you want to have his kid? Don’t think he deserves that at all, and you don’t deserve to have your body wrecked for a dude playing happy family with someone else. Totally understand if you’re set in your decision, but I’ve seen wayyy too many great ladies be tied to shitty dudes.


the thing is he's very supportive to me in the first 3months of my pregnancy he's been a very good partner and took care of me. he's very excited for our baby. I just don't know why in the middle of this journey he will left me for that reason.


I see. To me that support is hollow if he was okay risking your health. It’s like he’s putting on a good face because he knows that’s what he’s supposed to do, but if it was genuine, he wouldn’t have cheated on you, and much less have this lady involved by proxy. Like he’s in your face, rubbing your feet, or going to appointments, and then he leaves to go sell dreams to his other lady. That’s just grimy :( . Then you’ll have to deal with this lady possibly being around your kid all the time. To be fair, dudes can be really great fathers while being shitty partners, I just don’t think any dude who does this to their pregnant partner deserves to have her do all the heavy lifting while he’s off doing whatever he does. If you’re really intent on being a mom, there’s ways to do that without involving a dude like him. I just doubt this is the last time he’s gonna cause drama, and I’d hate for you to be dealing with that *plus* a kid.




Thats your answer. He can give all the lip service he wants, but he’s not being here for you and it’s clear he only cares about himself. I’m so sorry that this happening, but I really don’t think you should tie this dude to you further.


It's been 1 year since my ex fiancé cheated on me. It was an extremely tough year but I'm slowly feeling better. Just hold on, OP. Things will get better eventually.


At least you know now he was trash rather than years from now.


There's nothing more painful. But thank God you didn't marry him. See if the term "trauma bond" makes any sense to you. I learned a lot from Shahida Arabi in a time like this in my past.


You are so strong and brave for facing these things. Know that you don’t deserve this kind of pain and that it will definitely take time to work through the grieving process. Your doing better for yourself and your baby and I’m supper proud of you for that and you made your first week. Any bit of progress is progress and I think should be celebrated even if in small ways. You might not see it now but someday it might change and I’m hoping you’ll be happy. I’m wishing ease and swiftness in your recovery. I believe in you!


The best option for revenge is to become the best version of yourself possible. This should show you how he views you, as someone deserving of such a heartbreak and as someone who is not worth his time. Do you view yourself like that as well?


I agree with this. OP also needs to lawyer up. Make plans for the custody. If he’s still with this woman she will be around the baby. Ugh. That will suck.


One week at a time OP! You got the right attitude. Break it down into little victories. No one deserves this kind of pain. I’m so sorry OP. Wishing you good things moving forward ❤️‍🩹


I’m sorry you are going through this. It will get better every day. I also feel a break might be coming my way also.


You are stronger than you think! Take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time.


It's bad now, but, you will survive and thrive. It's totally going to be ok. Good riddance to that dud.


Sometimes our journey of self discovery requires a detour into the heart of darkness.


Usually when you don't need to worry about someone you need to worry about them. I found that out the hard way in my younger years.


Take it as a gift that he is out of your life now. There is a freedom in getting to decide how to parent your own child. Remember when you go after him for child support not to feel guilty, because it is your child's money, not yours. Your baby is owed that money. Set up your support network now. My friend has just had a baby alone and asked people to fill out IOU coupons instead of giving toys and clothes as gifts. So she asked for "IOU an evening of babysitting", "IOU a meal delivered to your home", etc. I hope you have people around you to help. Fed, clothed, clean and loved is really all the baby needs. Anything else is a bonus, but not essential. My babies were in onesie pjs from 0-9 months. Never bothered with outfits and shoes. My face and the remote control have always been the most fascinating toys for my kids. Wishing you all the best.


Pain while horrific, makes you human and makes joy more profound. While this sucks now it will make you more empathetic and hopefully stronger. “The world breaks everyone, but some are stronger in the broken places.” He wasn’t the one for you.


Need more contex


Make sure you screw him on child support. He has to pay up.


Im not expecting anything from him when he told me that he doesn't care about me and the baby anymore.


I don't give a flying fuck about what you believe he should or shouldn't pay. His child, your child, deserves that money. Don't take it away from your kid. That's college, toys, a deposit on a house. Get a grip.


How long you were you dating? How long were you engaged? How did he meet this new girl? Is she prettier or richer or something? Get tested since it’s likely he cheated.


we've been dating for almost a year and we got engaged when we found out that we're having a baby. as the baby is not planned at all. the new girl is a new co worker of him. and yes she's pretty and older than us. maybe more experienced that's why..


I hope you slam him for child support and tell everyone what he did. Wonder if you can get alimony as a fiancé. Hope you’re already calling lawyers.


He sounds like something you don’t need in your life. The pain is raw now but you will see the light more clearly as you heal. You deserve better than that trash. He cheated on you and left you like it’s no big deal. You get 2 weeks to feel sorry after that you need to snap out of it. Don’t let your feelings of despair broken-heartedness drag you down. You are a strong woman. You can do this. You will reach the mountaintop.




we already had plans for the future and it's been only a week when we started to have an argument about that. after 2 days he's asking for a breakup and he's saying he's already tired of me not trusting him.


As painful as it is, he did you a favour. After all, if he's ready to date already, *after breaking up with his fiancé*, then he wasn't the right person for you, and he most likely would have cheated on you. It hurts now, but take the time to grieve the person you thought you were engaged to, and the life that you thought you were building. When that gets easier to think about, you'll still have yourself and you'll likely find more peace. Good luck, OP - I hope you find the peace, love and respect that you deserve.


It gets easier. You dodged a bullet.


If it is his…child support checks once you deliver. Move on and choose to be happy.


It’ll be a week tomorrow since my girlfriend left me! I feel free without her, and I honestly consider this a blessing for both of us OP. Here’s to growth, good health and finding better people ❤️


Each week will get easier. Might not feel like much consolation now but at least you didn’t actually marry him and then find out about the one ‘not to worry about’.


Don’t beat yourself up… he just wanted new box …


I wish you weren't having a baby with this asswipe. But because you are, I would consider moving out of town if you can. He's going to go after custody if you don't. As to your ex (aka asswipe), be glad he's ended things now. You are young and don't need to ever deal his cheating again. He'll likely do the same thing to his new gf. As to your pain... See if you can get some medicine for it. But if not, aspirin (in small doses if safe for the baby), might help. It helps for psychological pain as well as physical pain. If not, then you need go for walks, look at beautiful things, dance to music, do prenatal yoga, etc.


First thing I did when my marriage broke up, was to purchase a Divorce Ring. Then I bought ingredients for cooking things he forbade..I took the kids to the beach for day trips. Mom would tell me, when ever I was feeling down, to go do something fun ! I was glad to not have to put up with his miserable attitude anymore.


Stay strong 🙏 hard time never matter and put him on child support, I hope you heal from ur pain


I went through a breakup myself about nearly 5 months ago now. It hurts like hell in the beginning, but keep pushing through. You dodged a huge missile of a person like I did. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and try writing down your thoughts whenever they pop up, it will help you express everything you need to express. I never thought I was going to get over it, but I did. Keep focusing on yourself and your baby, and everyone else who is important in your life. Surround yourself with loving people but also remember to have time to yourself to heal. Sometimes really shitty people enter our lives, but know you're strong enough to keep fighting through the grief. I believe in you OP If you need any more advice, feel free to ask


My darling you do not deserve this and you did nothing wrong. He wasn’t dating her after three days, he was cheating before his foot was out the door. He wanted to make sure he wouldn’t be alone, cheaters do that. Remember if he’ll do it with her, he’ll do it to her. This is gonna hurt for a little while but then, slowly it will stop hurting. You will laugh, play and dance again. You will find new joy and love. You will heal. One day you’ll be sitting on your couch and see a heartbroken soul on the screen and remember that type of soul deep ache. But, then you’ll then remember the adventures you’ve had that you would have never experienced if you stayed with them. I never thought I would get over what he did, but here I sit with a husband who adores me, four kids, cats, dogs and so much laughter. How could my life have ever been this full and joyous with that cheating rat bastard???


Drop of the baby to him and let him be the custodial parent (assuming the child is his). If more men and their new fling had the responsibility of the kids they wouldn't be so quick to do what they do.