T O P

I drew the short straw at the bachelor party. Have at.

I drew the short straw at the bachelor party. Have at.

JPoftheSanDiego

He also draws the short straw every time he has to piss.


yourgifmademesignup

Most definitely drew the short straw of the gene pool


Vandy1358

Burned!


Justice-C03

Fire crotch?


lostmyshoes01

I’m just gonna post the Wikipedia description of Beaker from The Muppets: “Beaker has bulging eyes, a shock of red hair, and a drawbridge mouth which serves as a frown”


Witty_Drummer2020

Let me translate your comment into his native language "Meep, meep, meep, meep..."


lostmyshoes01

We’ve done it boys… OP is now [immortalized.](https://imgur.com/a/8qUlZRD) “Otherwise, his tone or expression helps to communicate his meaning, especially at bachelor parties.” [Original link that has probably been fixed by now](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beaker_(Muppet)#)


JPoftheSanDiego

Epic!


maxbaby

[Michael Andrew Jaw](https://i.imgur.com/FoWHvTH.png)


flagrantstickfoul

i couldn't put my finger on it, but my problem was i was limiting myself to -humans- he reminded me of


greenrussian404

Well ots hard when you have a gary busey / beaker hybrid.


Myke190

You just made his friends call him beaker forever.


Boochpooch

You won


CapTexAmerica

I was initially thinking a “Ron Weasley/Draco Malfoy love child” but I definitely see the Netflix adaptation Beaker.


pnwgirl34

I’m fucking screaming


dextermurphy

Fuck this was good.


Gerb_mcHerb

One of the best I've ever seen


[deleted]

Holy fuck! Close the shop, we're done here.


Trainspotting1102

You’re a horrible human being.


LogicalLook6760

Me me me meeeee, Me me me meeeee, came for this and you didn't let me down


jonalbaslawyer

This is what I imagine Conan O'Brain's dick looks like


Good-Guitar-1743

You imagine what Conan O'Brian's dick looks like?


PoolBoyBryGuy

Way underrated! That’s funny.


DWest91

Let's be real. There is no bachelor party.


ConservativeSexparty

There is, he just wasn't invited to it.


Known_Zookeepergame5

He was a waiter


Ok-Tale-4221

Carrot Bottom


Xerfus

Lmfao


phrsllc

Cheeto nub.


Carbsexual

This got me 😆🤣


lostmyshoes01

Bruhhhh 😂😂😂


QuietlySmirking

You look like Gary Busey fucked a carrot.


NeverNotSuicidal

Wish I could give you more than one upvote


timkos012

r/wouldgoldbutiampleb


just-going-with-it

That was fuckin great lmao


OwlsIsBetterThanMans

You look like Steve Buscemi cosplaying Ron Weasley


thrillhouse416

"How do you do, fellow wizards?"


do_it-to_it

I’m pretty sure that’s Kate McKinnon doing an SNL sketch of Steve Buscemi cosplaying Ron Weasley.


MasterpieceTrue520

Have i been targeted for shermination


BruceMcMoose83

Clearly not your bachelor party


HarryCallahan19

Harry Potter and the Deathly Swallows


GerberBabyPlus

Fuck off Ron Weasly.


MrAnxiety___

I'm getting Draco Malfoy and Ron hybrid vibes


pacmanic

Member of the lessor known House of Gryffindork.


Jaser84

And demoted even further to the Droppedbystorks.


ProfessorDarklord98

Another actor ruined by drugs and intense fapping.


Good-Guitar-1743

I thought this said incest.


l0v3s2sp00g3

Not even the wish version of ron weasley is this fucked up


RamboBalboa21

Why the long face?


GodOfMeh

Gotta love the classics.


themomentaftero

You look like the crimson chin mixed his semen with Ron Weasley and they impregnated the forehead of a midget.


SnooObjections8392

Wow, how does this, strangely, hit the mark right on the head!?🤣


just-going-with-it

Well with a noggin like THAT...


LazyClub2

r/rareinsults


probablyborednh

You look like a recruiter for a cult.


oneletterman

I was thinking the “bachelor party” was probably a cult social event, where carrot top gets anally deflowered.


jemcnick

looks like hes hiding marbles in his mouth


Whiskee_Kilo

The Mask 2: Staring Conan O’Brien


Bobby_Blunders

If..."I drew the short straw..." was a person...im pretty sure he would be a freckle-less ginger...with hair that doesn't compare to to Conan 0'Brian...


Mtwilson4

You're what it looks like when every shitty recessive trait somehow gets picked in the genotype process.


narahirah

Looks like your wife will have to endure the shortest straw too


Working_Pea_7318

He looks like that evil ginger in shrek


Witty_Drummer2020

The only dreams this Rumplestilltskin is making come true involve three guys from Grinder, a port-a-potty and a box of saran-wrap


Schrotes

Smart move OP. Get two people you know to marry, be close to them, and then they can make children for you to steal the souls of.


Zealousideal-Hat6844

Wtf Lurch Weasley??


msweigart

Cancer hasn’t been easy on you, but at least the wig looks natural


deandeanhere

That mouth is gargantuan. “I've always liked that word gargantuan? I so rarely have an opportunity to use it in a sentence.”


illtry2benice

𝓡𝓸𝓷 𝓗𝓸𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓭 smoked crack and after, found Jim Henson- fucked 𝓑𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓻 from the [muppets](https://i.imgur.com/tqjCFyu.jpg) in the ass and nine months later you crawled out.


mikejones84

Definitely Beaker.


GlitteringThought650

You are like a ginger handsome squidward


Witty_Goose_7724

You look like a cartoon where someone spent so much time coloring your hair that they ran out of time drawing your face.


Neko_09

Omg the resemblance ![gif](giphy|ph8t8u5bErf56)


Ham0404

If the Torch and Elastic Man had a kid


the_humblekiwi

They say gingers don't have souls but I've been pumping hot loads into ur dad's ar-soul for years


Mike_Juggernaut

What is that head a straw?


msweigart

Short straw eats the cookie after they all finish on it


Proof-Test-4150

I’d tell you a joke about your chin, but it’s too long.


Reasonable-Plenty-60

How the fuck you gonna have a chin the same size of a 5head


ToastToTHEGods

For sure has braces


Reasonable-Plenty-60

Dude's got a kangaroo pouch under his nose


lilc4life

The fact that your chin doesn’t align with the rest of your face and head just… bothers me


aikuhime

Your hairline is running away from your face, unfortunately it has a long way to run.


qsnoodles

David No-ie


lvlister2015

Ronald Weasey


Armon_Tamzarian

If rocky and sloth had a baby


OsmellaOdor

You drew the long straw at foreheads


TriggeredF1sh

This is a microcosm of your future life…always a groomsman, never a groom.


[deleted]

That chin looks like it has bugs partying inside it 24/7


enygma9753

So ... the Delta variant is getting hitched to your respiratory system?


pee_eye_em_pee

Face longer than a Monday


yaboytigga

You fucked your cousin.


Towguy231

You look like Rocky in the Mask movie


Moist_Eye_4134

"Have at" Not a replacement for a personality either actually


Papichuloft

Where's Waldo was first....now there's WHere's Ginger, and no one is looking because no one cares


SnooObjections8392

And there you have it. The poster child for drawing the short straw. Nailed it.


Megachad1

Is your vagina as smooth as your face is?


whyrudoingthis2day

You also drew the short straw in the gene pool.


kellislandrum

When your chin is longer than your cock.


sporkmurderer135

Your even too ugly to be a proper Weasley.


kellislandrum

Cristopho, the gay Weasley.


_EverythingWasTaken_

How's your face both teenage boy and middle aged woman with no eyebrows?


oaktreebuddha

Which one of your imaginary friends is getting married


xMCNZE32

You know what’s not short? Your forehead.


aikuhime

How many teeth are you holding into that strained grin. My best guesstimate is 842?


Chemical-Row4420

I thought android 16 was only on DBZ, can we get an autograph?


ImmortalBloodax

Ok chicken little nice little title


trickboy7

The Weasley the others don't mention


BogartKun

Ron Weasley on crack


nintendro_

you look like you still haven't hit puberty


Hpotterhead2005

Great value version of Macaulay Culkin


Alternative_Grand905

You look like the annoying girl from Finding Nemo.


henk135

You actually look like a matchstick


Shaurya_Dayal

Chin big


TaiObs

Nah, whoever you marry drew the short straw.


oopysoup

You look like your name is Cameron and you cheat at kickball


Known_Zookeepergame5

Yeah admit it, you drew straws. Alone. In your moms basement


kabobin

You look like a used q tip


SteelDragon55

You look like a cross between Chuckie from Rugrats and Nigel Thornberry from the Wild Thornberrys


Momawss77

So you drew the short straw, at least you didn't die to Lord Voldemort's army like your twin brother.


docvoit

Damn so you had to suck everyone's dick at the party and post on r/roastme? Double whammy dude.


Monday_Night_Movies

Brother you drew the short straw life. But on the bright side im positive there is no God now.


Dirty_Corgi

Is this what they are really doing at bachelor parties now? 😂😂 what happened to strippers and booze?


Prior_Tomato428

A bachelor party where your giving out free blow job's


GodOfMeh

You look like Herman Munster fucked a leprechaun.


Xerfus

Wonald Reasley


TheFlyingPiglett

Feels like your hair is terrified of your jaw


[deleted]

Why didn't you bring Hardy for the picture?


bettyfordslovechild

Ginger folk smell like baked beans. I's true open a tin and smell them.


Shitscomplicated

Your friends also drew the short straw by being with you


Brilliant-Yogurt540

Do you have two cocks in your mouth ?


davinciSL72

Tell Harry and Ginny congrats and I’m sorry about Hermione leaving you, but congrats on 90 days sober from meth and poppers…


blondart

If Ron Weasley and Beaker from the muppets had a baby


rip1980

Don't just stand there like that, swallow.


ScottQuinney

The Crimson Chin would be impressed at the size of yours


CheesecakeProud1671

And when he says short straw he means they all measured up and he was last.....


ShadowBasic

Do you work for Sam Adams? Because you look like a beer salesman


Altruistic-Still-136

So, you had to get a lap dance from the TS stripper?


Jody_steal_your_girl

I bet you’ll be the one eating the cracker too.


coltellochiave

Is that carrot holding a sign?


Zaphod_Beeblebrox_V

20 bucks says the other people at the party ditched him and went to a strip club as soon as he went in the other room. Also, I’m like 95% sure he has braces.


Due-Yogurtcloset1338

You look like the alien from 'Mars Attacks!'


Angry_gen_X_74

All I can see here is the EPA asshole from the original Ghostbusters


nelsonic1990

Gary Busie 2 electric boogaloo


Flawda-Man

They would have burned you at the stake centuries ago!


outtsideyerhouse

*When a puppet makes a wish on Wish


Lucas_Uebelhoer

If Mark Zuckerberg came out less like a alien.


Humble-C

I'm guessing that Nickelodeon wouldn't reboot adventures of Pete and pete? Figured what the hell one last shot!


ksadams223

The more hair you lose the more you look like penny wise.


Ornery-Goblin

You look like the Shawn Bradley Monstars character from Space Jam.


imjustme247

“I drew the short straw at a bachelor party” suuuuure you did. You just want people to look at you unlike in real life where every one looks away. Also you want us to think you have friends. Nice try buddy.


v3r00n

Why does it look like you have a dick in your mouth?


TigerUppercut08

You have a face that looks drawn on a etch-a-sketch.


coerky

He looks like Tfue in a fucked up way without eyebrows


imma_dilf

Whistling the Andy Griffith theme right now.


EinsteinsVortex

Rocky Dennis with a mouth full of jizz.


Henry_Human

Your face is fucking disgusting.


sonny2706

You are exactly what I imagined a gay chad Ron Weasley would look like.


brainwashednuts

Who did you have to suck off to be invited to a bachelor party? Probably the groom right.


vesalica

You drew the short staw at life


restolho11

Taking a break from chasing Tom Hanks eh Silas?


Magic_Master213

Ah yes, discount Ron Weasley


Foxtrot4Real

You’re the one making it a bachelor party


Chef_Rhetkwon

Hopefully people aren’t to hard on you, Jew your chin up.


wigzell78

Sowe can tell you weren't the groom, because... well... *gestures vaguely at you*


demons11

You look like Clayton Oliver's aborted twin brother.


LegateRift

What's rickety cricket doing here?


TheRealRizeShurShock

Looks like all the weasley brothers had an incest baby


djpro95

And in the gene pool, apparently


RubberNipples7890

You look like a constipated Ron Weasley.


UnknownUser739

You look like a Ali Express Conan Obrien.


n00bst4

[Go back to your cartoon, Phil Wire.](https://i2.wp.com/downthetubes.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/llpw2.jpg)


gdubh

Should’ve drawn faces. You are world champ.


HeadDownDad

You have to be allergic to something. Prolly long straws.


[deleted]

When I saw this... Why did I automatically think about this ...Ronald Weasley, how dare you steal that car, I am absolutely disgusted, your father is facing an Inquiery at work which is entirely your fault, if you put another toe out of line we will bring you straight home and ginny dear congratulations on making it into Gryffindor your father and are so proud...


Umster

Not a soul in sight !!!


alabasternado

You all were comparing cocks weren't you, when you drew the short straw?


Cordero_Biggs

If you ordered John Elway from Wish


whoareyyou

who stole johnny neutron's forehead and put Conan O Brien's pubic hair on the top of his head.


LeMad_Haddet

Imagine being ginger but you're such an uncomfortable person even your hair tries running away from you


ConfidentCard69

He looks like Carrot Top and Gary Busey had a baby but that baby didn't go to term and someone hit it with a shovel a bunch


Xx_CJ_A_xX

Ur the type of dude that eats a carrot then says “I guess I am what I eat”


Ynohu

Jesus Christ Ron what did hermoine do to you?


AltFactsBot

Beam him back down, Scotty.


Crimson_Trout

Are you holding a frog in your mouth or just your mates jizz?


ConsiderationNo8470

looks like his parents drew the short straw at the orphanage... I'm only joking, nobody would willingly adopt a ginger.


spank0ge

Josh Homo


Senzubeangotmegeeked

Homie looks like earthworm jim if he had hair


BreastPresser

Its ok, you can swallow the cum now


klachs

Too easy, ugly gingers basically roast themselves by simply being still alive.


MMBlackSwan

Ron Weasley after a facial stretch spell.


Thrillshire

You are the Weasley twin that should have died


Far-Concentrate-9844

Was it Shortest straw has to have ginger hair the rest of their life?