I drew the short straw at the bachelor party. Have at.
By - BachelorPartyRoastMe
He also draws the short straw every time he has to piss.
Most definitely drew the short straw of the gene pool
I’m just gonna post the Wikipedia description of Beaker from The Muppets:
“Beaker has bulging eyes, a shock of red hair, and a drawbridge mouth which serves as a frown”
Let me translate your comment into his native language "Meep, meep, meep, meep..."
We’ve done it boys… OP is now [immortalized.](https://imgur.com/a/8qUlZRD)
“Otherwise, his tone or expression helps to communicate his meaning, especially at bachelor parties.”
[Original link that has probably been fixed by now](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beaker_(Muppet)#)
[Michael Andrew Jaw](https://i.imgur.com/FoWHvTH.png)
i couldn't put my finger on it, but my problem was i was limiting myself to -humans- he reminded me of
Well ots hard when you have a gary busey / beaker hybrid.
You just made his friends call him beaker forever.
I was initially thinking a “Ron Weasley/Draco Malfoy love child” but I definitely see the Netflix adaptation Beaker.
I’m fucking screaming
Fuck this was good.
One of the best I've ever seen
Holy fuck! Close the shop, we're done here.
You’re a horrible human being.
Me me me meeeee, Me me me meeeee, came for this and you didn't let me down
This is what I imagine Conan O'Brain's dick looks like
You imagine what Conan O'Brian's dick looks like?
Way underrated! That’s funny.
Let's be real. There is no bachelor party.
There is, he just wasn't invited to it.
He was a waiter
This got me 😆🤣
You look like Gary Busey fucked a carrot.
Wish I could give you more than one upvote
That was fuckin great lmao
You look like Steve Buscemi cosplaying Ron Weasley
"How do you do, fellow wizards?"
I’m pretty sure that’s Kate McKinnon doing an SNL sketch of Steve Buscemi cosplaying Ron Weasley.
Have i been targeted for shermination
Clearly not your bachelor party
Harry Potter and the Deathly Swallows
Fuck off Ron Weasly.
I'm getting Draco Malfoy and Ron hybrid vibes
Member of the lessor known House of Gryffindork.
And demoted even further to the Droppedbystorks.
Another actor ruined by drugs and intense fapping.
I thought this said incest.
Not even the wish version of ron weasley is this fucked up
Why the long face?
Gotta love the classics.
You look like the crimson chin mixed his semen with Ron Weasley and they impregnated the forehead of a midget.
Wow, how does this, strangely, hit the mark right on the head!?🤣
Well with a noggin like THAT...
You look like a recruiter for a cult.
I was thinking the “bachelor party” was probably a cult social event, where carrot top gets anally deflowered.
looks like hes hiding marbles in his mouth
The Mask 2: Staring Conan O’Brien
If..."I drew the short straw..." was a person...im pretty sure he would be a freckle-less ginger...with hair that doesn't compare to to Conan 0'Brian...
You're what it looks like when every shitty recessive trait somehow gets picked in the genotype process.
Looks like your wife will have to endure the shortest straw too
He looks like that evil ginger in shrek
The only dreams this Rumplestilltskin is making come true involve three guys from Grinder, a port-a-potty and a box of saran-wrap
Smart move OP. Get two people you know to marry, be close to them, and then they can make children for you to steal the souls of.
Wtf Lurch Weasley??
Cancer hasn’t been easy on you, but at least the wig looks natural
That mouth is gargantuan.
“I've always liked that word gargantuan? I so rarely have an opportunity to use it in a sentence.”
𝓡𝓸𝓷 𝓗𝓸𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓭 smoked crack and after, found Jim Henson- fucked 𝓑𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓻 from the [muppets](https://i.imgur.com/tqjCFyu.jpg) in the ass and nine months later you crawled out.
You are like a ginger handsome squidward
You look like a cartoon where someone spent so much time coloring your hair that they ran out of time drawing your face.
Omg the resemblance
If the Torch and Elastic Man had a kid
They say gingers don't have souls but I've been pumping hot loads into ur dad's ar-soul for years
What is that head a straw?
Short straw eats the cookie after they all finish on it
I’d tell you a joke about your chin, but it’s too long.
How the fuck you gonna have a chin the same size of a 5head
For sure has braces
Dude's got a kangaroo pouch under his nose
The fact that your chin doesn’t align with the rest of your face and head just… bothers me
Your hairline is running away from your face, unfortunately it has a long way to run.
If rocky and sloth had a baby
You drew the long straw at foreheads
This is a microcosm of your future life…always a groomsman, never a groom.
That chin looks like it has bugs partying inside it 24/7
So ... the Delta variant is getting hitched to your respiratory system?
Face longer than a Monday
You fucked your cousin.
You look like Rocky in the Mask movie
Not a replacement for a personality either actually
Where's Waldo was first....now there's WHere's Ginger, and no one is looking because no one cares
And there you have it. The poster child for drawing the short straw. Nailed it.
Is your vagina as smooth as your face is?
You also drew the short straw in the gene pool.
When your chin is longer than your cock.
Your even too ugly to be a proper Weasley.
Cristopho, the gay Weasley.
How's your face both teenage boy and middle aged woman with no eyebrows?
Which one of your imaginary friends is getting married
You know what’s not short? Your forehead.
How many teeth are you holding into that strained grin. My best guesstimate is 842?
I thought android 16 was only on DBZ, can we get an autograph?
Ok chicken little nice little title
The Weasley the others don't mention
Ron Weasley on crack
you look like you still haven't hit puberty
Great value version of Macaulay Culkin
You look like the annoying girl from Finding Nemo.
You actually look like a matchstick
Nah, whoever you marry drew the short straw.
You look like your name is Cameron and you cheat at kickball
Yeah admit it, you drew straws. Alone. In your moms basement
You look like a used q tip
You look like a cross between Chuckie from Rugrats and Nigel Thornberry from the Wild Thornberrys
So you drew the short straw, at least you didn't die to Lord Voldemort's army like your twin brother.
Damn so you had to suck everyone's dick at the party and post on r/roastme? Double whammy dude.
Brother you drew the short straw life. But on the bright side im positive there is no God now.
Is this what they are really doing at bachelor parties now? 😂😂 what happened to strippers and booze?
A bachelor party where your giving out free blow job's
You look like Herman Munster fucked a leprechaun.
Feels like your hair is terrified of your jaw
Why didn't you bring Hardy for the picture?
Ginger folk smell like baked beans. I's true open a tin and smell them.
Your friends also drew the short straw by being with you
Do you have two cocks in your mouth ?
Tell Harry and Ginny congrats and I’m sorry about Hermione leaving you, but congrats on 90 days sober from meth and poppers…
If Ron Weasley and Beaker from the muppets had a baby
Don't just stand there like that, swallow.
The Crimson Chin would be impressed at the size of yours
And when he says short straw he means they all measured up and he was last.....
Do you work for Sam Adams? Because you look like a beer salesman
So, you had to get a lap dance from the TS stripper?
I bet you’ll be the one eating the cracker too.
Is that carrot holding a sign?
20 bucks says the other people at the party ditched him and went to a strip club as soon as he went in the other room.
Also, I’m like 95% sure he has braces.
You look like the alien from 'Mars Attacks!'
All I can see here is the EPA asshole from the original Ghostbusters
Gary Busie 2 electric boogaloo
They would have burned you at the stake centuries ago!
*When a puppet makes a wish on Wish
If Mark Zuckerberg came out less like a alien.
I'm guessing that Nickelodeon wouldn't reboot adventures of Pete and pete? Figured what the hell one last shot!
The more hair you lose the more you look like penny wise.
You look like the Shawn Bradley Monstars character from Space Jam.
“I drew the short straw at a bachelor party” suuuuure you did. You just want people to look at you unlike in real life where every one looks away.
Also you want us to think you have friends. Nice try buddy.
Why does it look like you have a dick in your mouth?
You have a face that looks drawn on a etch-a-sketch.
He looks like Tfue in a fucked up way without eyebrows
Whistling the Andy Griffith theme right now.
Rocky Dennis with a mouth full of jizz.
Your face is fucking disgusting.
You are exactly what I imagined a gay chad Ron Weasley would look like.
Who did you have to suck off to be invited to a bachelor party? Probably the groom right.
You drew the short staw at life
Taking a break from chasing Tom Hanks eh Silas?
Ah yes, discount Ron Weasley
You’re the one making it a bachelor party
Hopefully people aren’t to hard on you, Jew your chin up.
Sowe can tell you weren't the groom, because... well... *gestures vaguely at you*
You look like Clayton Oliver's aborted twin brother.
What's rickety cricket doing here?
Looks like all the weasley brothers had an incest baby
And in the gene pool, apparently
You look like a constipated Ron Weasley.
You look like a Ali Express Conan Obrien.
[Go back to your cartoon, Phil Wire.](https://i2.wp.com/downthetubes.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/llpw2.jpg)
Should’ve drawn faces. You are world champ.
You have to be allergic to something. Prolly long straws.
When I saw this... Why did I automatically think about this
...Ronald Weasley, how dare you steal that car, I am absolutely disgusted, your father is facing an Inquiery at work which is entirely your fault, if you put another toe out of line we will bring you straight home and ginny dear congratulations on making it into Gryffindor your father and are so proud...
Not a soul in sight !!!
You all were comparing cocks weren't you, when you drew the short straw?
If you ordered John Elway from Wish
who stole johnny neutron's forehead and put Conan O Brien's pubic hair on the top of his head.
Imagine being ginger but you're such an uncomfortable person even your hair tries running away from you
He looks like Carrot Top and Gary Busey had a baby but that baby didn't go to term and someone hit it with a shovel a bunch
Ur the type of dude that eats a carrot then says “I guess I am what I eat”
Jesus Christ Ron what did hermoine do to you?
Beam him back down, Scotty.
Are you holding a frog in your mouth or just your mates jizz?
looks like his parents drew the short straw at the orphanage... I'm only joking, nobody would willingly adopt a ginger.
Homie looks like earthworm jim if he had hair
Its ok, you can swallow the cum now
Too easy, ugly gingers basically roast themselves by simply being still alive.
Ron Weasley after a facial stretch spell.
You are the Weasley twin that should have died
Was it Shortest straw has to have ginger hair the rest of their life?