T O P

  • By -

timoteo4eva

Your gut and tits are in a race to be your most prevalent feature.


ICURaBigdeal

That shirt is a rescue ship hiding about 47 different endangered animals


ProfessorDarklord98

Guys look! Snorlax suffering from Obesity.


KayLeedleLee

Thats an insult to Snorlax comparing this troglodyte to him


queen-roast

Dude... the vlog squad makes fun of Jonah but this guy is on another level.. he is 2 Jonah's PLUS Billy the fridge combined, along with an actual fridge


Tom_Dickensheets

He looks like Jonah Hill ate Jonah Hill.


Zaratonus

After frying him in bacon grease


DiscombobulatedFix90

Clearly a family member has a pokeflute because its awake.


Finlanddoesntexcist

Somebody go get the Pokeflute!


tuffenstein0420

Mostly animal crackers


Greyzer

Lice are endangered now?


maxbaby

Hey dude, I see everyone in here is mocking you. Let me just say I congratulate you for beating a very serious disease. [Well done my man, well done!](https://i.imgur.com/w6iGKVV.png) 👏 👏 👏 👏 (slow clap)


UnholyJeffster

And if you fail at life, you can always be a 4 chin teller.


Gobagogodada

Hah!


weaponizedcarrot704

The effort was top notch


tycr0

Well played.


liquidysubstance

If they roast you, you can feed a whole village...


1standlastcomment

There's nothing avid about him besides his appetite


DG_727

*morbid


Inebriologist

Sweet! I could titty fuck him then gape his navel. Call me?


New_Drama9948

Poor T-shirt, someone should end its suffering


peterspliffin69

Lol i think we found the mod


ABCDEPesto

Most folks are going to focus on your grotesque belly, complete lack of a neck/chin, directionally-challenged man tits, brillo-pad of a hair style, or burger-grease stained poncho... So I guess I'll point out that you have shitty penmanship!


Inebriologist

Sherlock has entered the crime scene.


meAnDdbOis_

It's pretty hard to write with such fat hands give him a break.


SketchyMoma

Sherlock you forgot the grease stains on the shirt! What does it mean?


Bosquito86

Jizz not grease


SketchyMoma

Oh my


Afraid_Football6345

Jizz and grease from shaggin those donuts


ScratchAssSmellFingr

I heard that in George Takei's voice.


sjikkes

When you have to piss in order to find your dick


Mwynen12

Honestly, that or just follow the smell.


tastydoosh

It depends, under that lot it might just 'seep'


heck_u

BRUUUUUUUH


DreadedGamer23

DAMN, SAVAGE!


KayLeedleLee

And it still doesn't help much


Peenutbuttjellytime

rolled in flour, lets keep it gourmet


WhamBamRudderham

It's called Keto diet, not Cheeto.


New_Drama9948

I think he prefers Cheat On diet


Klewenisms204

Atkins... More like fatkins


trippinbillie333

Sweet Baby Rays, what are those stains in your shirt?


tommygun1688

He lactates maple syrup.


BrettTheShitmanShart

I laughed way too hard at this. Dear god.


kickintheshit

He eats ass... and bbq


v3rBaL_cRiMiNaL

*he eats ass WITH bbq


TheLastRookie

The only ass he eats is pulled pork (made from pork "butt")


lilc4life

I summon a fat fucking magician with 0 attack and 5000lbs of defense.


officialsamih

Red Eyes White Fatass


sciencewonders

![gif](giphy|FaKV1cVKlVRxC)


MiloReyes-97

![gif](giphy|YC6ZedMDgR1Fm)


acmercer

Obligatory "Wait we can post gifs now??"


Sflow7

Wait gifs or gifs?


mp111

![gif](giphy|7GaW8f3CTKzZHZ8Lcl)


anima1mother

Yea I was like ![gif](giphy|CW27AW0nlp5u0)


OneFingerIn

You look like fat Jonah Hill ate all the fat that skinny Jonah Hill lost.


PersonalBrowser

Jonah Hill? This guy is Jonah Mountain


Inebriologist

And then ate skinny Jonah Hill and a pizza.


cornbeeflt

and washed it down with a nice cold glass of crisco


Inebriologist

My man!


s00perguy

Jesus, dude, that man had a family! I mean, I'm pretty sure he ate then, too, but he had one!


blackbear_____

Low hanging fruit on roastme is the worst. If you robbed me at gun point and I had to describe you to the police it would sound like a pretty harsh roast.


SlimJimzballz

Underrated


dsylexicon

Hardest working shirt on this subreddit.


TheWestwoodStrangler

You’re…23!?


TheLastRookie

No, he's 23 meters around the waist


Dirty_Corgi

I feel like this is a lie.


minnecrapolite

23 Stone.


lomolo4

I think he meant to say 23 tons


mmiles1974

You forgot to add virgin


New_Drama9948

To quote him in one of his answers, "no shit Sherlock"


rsjf89

His anime pillow girlfriend begs to differ


b0ogal0o_b0i

Probably unrecognizable with all the grease, syrup, cheeto dust and body fluids on it. It's probably just layers of crunchy goo with the ghost of a lost anime girl somewhere in there.


v3rBaL_cRiMiNaL

Pretty sure that’s implied lol


DirtySchlick

Get Pokémon Go bro...walk some of that ass off.


Hot-Quiet-3993

That would be a great fitness plan for him.


Hungdismembered

Looks like you could wring your shirt out to fry up your next batch of chicken.


[deleted]

[удалено]


loosing_it_today

If properly roasted, he may think himself tasty and eat himself.


UnholyJeffster

Glad you didn't sugar coat it. He would've ate that too.


Inebriologist

Diabetus……..


diereel

“Tell us you like to cook without saying you like to cook.”


AlyksTheSage

No shit Sherlock.


audomatix

Agreed, that roast was too easy.


HarryCallahan19

Someone pour some water on this beached whale before it is too late


SandokanNL

Don't use water if he catches fire though, never try to put out grease fires with water.


illegitimate_Raccoon

It's the seefood diet.


butflyctchr

If Peeps could become human....


Inebriologist

Microwaved peeps, that is.


GetYourVanOffMyMeat

This deserves love.


George_PhotoSmurf

You only need a cup of water to fill a bathtub with you inside.


cornbeeflt

that's not water. it's his sweat from high stepping into the tub


Inebriologist

He is most definitely a displacement hull.


albeefuqtifannoanaw

Archimedies would be turning in his grave, knowing his theory is being used on this lard ass.


StellisAequus

Not allowed in a few ports


Monday_Night_Movies

Or a pond.


AmazingUsernames

Or San Francisco bay?


v3rBaL_cRiMiNaL

I think this is the best comment so far


BigSqueal

Lmao


waldocolumbia

Serious question, do morticians cut out all the fat or actually make coffins to fit obese people?


mikeebsc74

Just use an old shipping container for him


jerk_mcgherkin

They used to bury them in piano cases, but that was back when this level of obesity was super rare. It's common enough now that someone has probably started a niche business making custom caskets for them.


albeefuqtifannoanaw

They'd be sort of square coffins . So much manpower would go into getting this fat fuck in the ground, as no winch would take his weight.


theroadkill1

Nice tits


UnholyJeffster

He looks like he's in a fitness protection program.


3T1NtR0F

Ikr, I'm jealous. According to the title he seems like a collector, and his 6-pack of flabs are probably really great storage compartments.


Methadras

That isn't a 6-pack of flabs, that's chiseled butter right there.


Altruistic-Still-136

Looks like he's storing enough to wipe out hunger in Ethiopia


Inebriologist

Well, at least you don’t have an onlyfans. Holy shit, please tell me you don’t have an onlyfans……


Dnny10bns

OnlyTimTams. ![gif](giphy|WmvVQYmEVWK4g)


Inebriologist

Ah, a joke I am too American to understand. These upside down snacks have no meaning to me.


minnecrapolite

OnlyHams


Mr_IGoThaJuice

Don’t give him any ideas


SamR1301

Microwaving dino chicken nuggets for every meal for 25 years isn't cooking.


whiskyandguitars

Microwaving ramen noodles and pizza rolls is not cooking.


kingdrew2007

Tell my dad that


whiskyandguitars

"Hey, kingdrew2007's dad. Microwaving food is not cooking!!" Tell him I said that. That'll fix him.


fooourskin

You didn’t have to describe anything. We knew it when we saw you.


Excellent-Captain-93

To be honest I feel like I dont need to roast you, I think you already just know...


ICURaBigdeal

When man breasts pack more bulge than an actual penis


Icy_Pudding_5548

![gif](giphy|wTI6hkUqFn9OE) You're all grown up now!


princesspinkybitch

You look Chien-Po who just ate Snorlax.


lostmyshoes01

Why does your body look like Homer Simpson’s face?


cornbeeflt

nice


CalledFractured7

Holy shit that's good


[deleted]

[удалено]


Greenmantle22

Oh please, this water buffalo keeps Golden Corral in business. Seeing him pull up is like seeing a Kardashian walk into a furrier. You know somebody's about to clean up. They roll out the red carpet for this jumbo.


Verundanir

You have more calories in your body than every child in Africa combined.


Xlh883dragster

You look like you’re getting ready to audition for Bill Swerski’s Superfans. What number heart attack are you on?


cornbeeflt

just one but it has lasted 15 years.


Brainsonastick

[repost](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/o6gk1z/why_just_why_you_could_of_just_ordered_burgers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


Anihilator16

This one right officer he’s the one that put him out of his misery


DirtySchlick

![gif](giphy|110gqI69qjVAkM) After party show...


WhamBamRudderham

Rosie O'Donnell really let herself go.


vice_queen

I know that emojis are frowned upon here but this is my actual expression whilst looking at this photo: 😧


Proof-Test-4150

You look like you could use some practice cooking for one.


New-Duty-7416

you look like the chef from good burger


AlyksTheSage

Welcome to good burger, home of the good burger, can I eat your order?


Sarah_2705

Argentinian nicokado avocado


spraywash

Nice tits,Bro


Snorlax_bo1

Gonna need more than a flute and a 6 man squad to move u out of the fucking way


Inebriologist

I joked on you a few times here, but seriously, you’ve got to get that weight down or you won’t celebrate too many more birthdays. When you are young, you feel invincibility, but when you hit 40 or so, with the same physique, not even worse, you will feel like death. I am 6’2 and weigh 220 lbs and I need to cut some weight because my body hurts, to an extent. Be careful.


SerendipitousSimp

Your sweat stains have sweat stains


Tanglyeagle27

You didn’t need to tell us we already knew


ICURaBigdeal

Snorlax full art body double


Dull-Note4270

Started with aspy. I guess that's your main personality trait. Pretty sad by itself.


Smokewrench802

If r/tendies was a person


AlyksTheSage

More like r/fatlogic


TriggeredF1sh

Are you gonna be a virgin your whole life? Or will you eventually hire a prostitute?


pur_fer_ur_pleasure

I think you misspelled "cock"


CosaInvestments

![gif](giphy|a1BkYY5meXmBG)


GodOfMeh

If Artie Lange was Thurman Merman.


Additional-Royal-351

Looking like Hurley from Lost. All that exercise is paying off!


Historical_Horse5930

Looks like you ATE the cook.


Oks79

You look like Artie Lange if he had given up.


spinat_monster

You remind me of an over bloated ravioli that is hanging on to dear life


Puzzle_Head_Wolf

Q: Who's that Pokémon? A: It's Blobasaur


Altruistic-Still-136

You like cooking WAY too much


audomatix

First one to go in lord of the flies scenario...


Summerinstantcrush

Try r/immobile


sketchypoutine

I have reason to believe cooking to you really just means drinking cooking oil out of the bottle.


AlyksTheSage

If I did that the us army would try to establish democracy in my stomach!


hnavickas

I can feel your gravitational pull from here


RiqueT03

I can hear you wheezing through this picture


newfoundcolour

Came to r/RoastMe because he thought it sounded delicious


DevaVulcan

I'd cut down on the estrogen pills a tad.


Dirty_Corgi

When life gives you lemons…


kenigmalive

you look like Raj from Hell's Kitchen


bullanusdeath

You should become a hardcore wii fit fan.


XRPacific

You don't deserve a Roast, you need a salad.


JoeDaJedi_

We would have guessed the part about liking to cook


EmploymentDowntown44

I'd roast you, but you'd probably wanna eat it


Chill-Howdy

You'll be cooking yourself soon for a roast dinner.


thatdudepancho

You forgot to add that your tshirt is a fan of ketchup and mustard.


Wankeritis

Eating whole blocks of Colby cheese at a time is not “cooking”.


LittleCurie

Dude. Jerking off to disturbing pictures of animated TV Ponies doesn't make you an "Art enthusiast".


mcshaggy

No shit you like to cook.


IMJiraiya

Is this Artie Lang before or after rehab?!?


Merbel

Well at least you don’t have to worry about ever turning 40.


Hutch0saurus

We already knew all these things about you just by looking at you, you didn't have to tell us.


MrUnreal1988

23 going on 43


jjr049

“I also like to cook”, bro I think it’s more “I also like to eat”


MrSecurityStalin

Chef Gusto really let himself go after he lost the restaurant...


SymptomaticSeb

Looks like a younger version of that ice cream van driver from the bangarang music video


wardenstark8

Too fat to fit into a restaurant, learned to cook. Can't get a girl, grew his own tits. This man adapts and over comes.


shibashroom

if redditors had a default skin it would be you


abdulcart123

Jonah fill


Meltdownbuilding

Bet the only time you break a sweat is when your lifting burgers to your mouth


MacaulaysCrackPipe

Bro if I wanted to roast you, you’d probably need at least 3 months inside the oven to be completely cooked


MF_Wings

Reheating takeout leftovers does not qualify as "like to cook", oh who am I kidding there are no leftovers with you around.


scotsman459

Purely on the fact that you look like a cracked out jonah hill in a vacuum, i am going to sit this one out.


yodaisdisabled

![gif](giphy|7FgDPLLKh1v4d2XLkl|downsized)


lvlister2015

The Legend of Zelda: Diabetes Awakening


WesternWolf_4

You have a pair of titties that’ll make any middle school girl jealous.


BigSqueal

A head shave away from looking like Danny Divito as the penguin in Batman returns.


Bonesy128

Man you really came dressed for the occasion


chaoticteiz

I choose you snorlax


sergiovvalverde

The lunch lady