Your gut and tits are in a race to be your most prevalent feature.
That shirt is a rescue ship hiding about 47 different endangered animals
Guys look! Snorlax suffering from Obesity.
Thats an insult to Snorlax comparing this troglodyte to him
Dude... the vlog squad makes fun of Jonah but this guy is on another level..
he is 2 Jonah's PLUS Billy the fridge combined, along with an actual fridge
He looks like Jonah Hill ate Jonah Hill.
After frying him in bacon grease
Clearly a family member has a pokeflute because its awake.
Somebody go get the Pokeflute!
Mostly animal crackers
Lice are endangered now?
Hey dude, I see everyone in here is mocking you. Let me just say I congratulate you for
beating a very serious disease. [Well done my man, well done!](https://i.imgur.com/w6iGKVV.png) 👏 👏 👏 👏 (slow clap)
And if you fail at life, you can always be a 4 chin teller.
The effort was top notch
If they roast you, you can feed a whole village...
There's nothing avid about him besides his appetite
Sweet! I could titty fuck him then gape his navel. Call me?
Poor T-shirt, someone should end its suffering
Lol i think we found the mod
Most folks are going to focus on your grotesque belly, complete lack of a neck/chin, directionally-challenged man tits, brillo-pad of a hair style, or burger-grease stained poncho...
So I guess I'll point out that you have shitty penmanship!
Sherlock has entered the crime scene.
It's pretty hard to write with such fat hands give him a break.
Sherlock you forgot the grease stains on the shirt! What does it mean?
Jizz not grease
Jizz and grease from shaggin those donuts
I heard that in George Takei's voice.
When you have to piss in order to find your dick
Honestly, that or just follow the smell.
It depends, under that lot it might just 'seep'
And it still doesn't help much
rolled in flour, lets keep it gourmet
It's called Keto diet, not Cheeto.
I think he prefers Cheat On diet
Atkins... More like fatkins
Sweet Baby Rays, what are those stains in your shirt?
He lactates maple syrup.
I laughed way too hard at this. Dear god.
He eats ass... and bbq
*he eats ass WITH bbq
The only ass he eats is pulled pork (made from pork "butt")
I summon a fat fucking magician with 0 attack and 5000lbs of defense.
Red Eyes White Fatass
Obligatory "Wait we can post gifs now??"
Wait gifs or gifs?
Yea I was like
You look like fat Jonah Hill ate all the fat that skinny Jonah Hill lost.
Jonah Hill? This guy is Jonah Mountain
And then ate skinny Jonah Hill and a pizza.
and washed it down with a nice cold glass of crisco
Jesus, dude, that man had a family! I mean, I'm pretty sure he ate then, too, but he had one!
Low hanging fruit on roastme is the worst. If you robbed me at gun point and I had to describe you to the police it would sound like a pretty harsh roast.
Hardest working shirt on this subreddit.
No, he's 23 meters around the waist
I feel like this is a lie.
I think he meant to say 23 tons
You forgot to add virgin
To quote him in one of his answers, "no shit Sherlock"
His anime pillow girlfriend begs to differ
Probably unrecognizable with all the grease, syrup, cheeto dust and body fluids on it. It's probably just layers of crunchy goo with the ghost of a lost anime girl somewhere in there.
Pretty sure that’s implied lol
Get Pokémon Go bro...walk some of that ass off.
That would be a great fitness plan for him.
Looks like you could wring your shirt out to fry up your next batch of chicken.
If properly roasted, he may think himself tasty and eat himself.
Glad you didn't sugar coat it. He would've ate that too.
“Tell us you like to cook without saying you like to cook.”
No shit Sherlock.
Agreed, that roast was too easy.
Someone pour some water on this beached whale before it is too late
Don't use water if he catches fire though, never try to put out grease fires with water.
It's the seefood diet.
If Peeps could become human....
Microwaved peeps, that is.
This deserves love.
You only need a cup of water to fill a bathtub with you inside.
that's not water. it's his sweat from high stepping into the tub
He is most definitely a displacement hull.
Archimedies would be turning in his grave, knowing his theory is being used on this lard ass.
Not allowed in a few ports
Or a pond.
Or San Francisco bay?
I think this is the best comment so far
Serious question, do morticians cut out all the fat or actually make coffins to fit obese people?
Just use an old shipping container for him
They used to bury them in piano cases, but that was back when this level of obesity was super rare. It's common enough now that someone has probably started a niche business making custom caskets for them.
They'd be sort of square coffins
. So much manpower would go into getting this fat fuck in the ground, as no winch would take his weight.
He looks like he's in a fitness protection program.
Ikr, I'm jealous. According to the title he seems like a collector, and his 6-pack of flabs are probably really great storage compartments.
That isn't a 6-pack of flabs, that's chiseled butter right there.
Looks like he's storing enough to wipe out hunger in Ethiopia
Well, at least you don’t have an onlyfans. Holy shit, please tell me you don’t have an onlyfans……
Ah, a joke I am too American to understand. These upside down snacks have no meaning to me.
Don’t give him any ideas
Microwaving dino chicken nuggets for every meal for 25 years isn't cooking.
Microwaving ramen noodles and pizza rolls is not cooking.
Tell my dad that
"Hey, kingdrew2007's dad. Microwaving food is not cooking!!" Tell him I said that. That'll fix him.
You didn’t have to describe anything. We knew it when we saw you.
To be honest I feel like I dont need to roast you, I think you already just know...
When man breasts pack more bulge than an actual penis
You're all grown up now!
You look Chien-Po who just ate Snorlax.
Why does your body look like Homer Simpson’s face?
Holy shit that's good
Oh please, this water buffalo keeps Golden Corral in business. Seeing him pull up is like seeing a Kardashian walk into a furrier. You know somebody's about to clean up. They roll out the red carpet for this jumbo.
You have more calories in your body than every child in Africa combined.
You look like you’re getting ready to audition for Bill Swerski’s Superfans. What number heart attack are you on?
just one but it has lasted 15 years.
This one right officer he’s the one that put him out of his misery
After party show...
Rosie O'Donnell really let herself go.
I know that emojis are frowned upon here but this is my actual expression whilst looking at this photo:
You look like you could use some practice cooking for one.
you look like the chef from good burger
Welcome to good burger, home of the good burger, can I eat your order?
Argentinian nicokado avocado
Gonna need more than a flute and a 6 man squad to move u out of the fucking way
I joked on you a few times here, but seriously, you’ve got to get that weight down or you won’t celebrate too many more birthdays. When you are young, you feel invincibility, but when you hit 40 or so, with the same physique, not even worse, you will feel like death. I am 6’2 and weigh 220 lbs and I need to cut some weight because my body hurts, to an extent. Be careful.
Your sweat stains have sweat stains
You didn’t need to tell us we already knew
Snorlax full art body double
Started with aspy. I guess that's your main personality trait. Pretty sad by itself.
If r/tendies was a person
More like r/fatlogic
Are you gonna be a virgin your whole life? Or will you eventually hire a prostitute?
I think you misspelled "cock"
If Artie Lange was Thurman Merman.
Looking like Hurley from Lost. All that exercise is paying off!
Looks like you ATE the cook.
You look like Artie Lange if he had given up.
You remind me of an over bloated ravioli that is hanging on to dear life
Q: Who's that Pokémon?
A: It's Blobasaur
You like cooking WAY too much
First one to go in lord of the flies scenario...
I have reason to believe cooking to you really just means drinking cooking oil out of the bottle.
If I did that the us army would try to establish democracy in my stomach!
I can feel your gravitational pull from here
I can hear you wheezing through this picture
Came to r/RoastMe because he thought it sounded delicious
I'd cut down on the estrogen pills a tad.
When life gives you lemons…
you look like Raj from Hell's Kitchen
You should become a hardcore wii fit fan.
You don't deserve a Roast, you need a salad.
We would have guessed the part about liking to cook
I'd roast you, but you'd probably wanna eat it
You'll be cooking yourself soon for a roast dinner.
You forgot to add that your tshirt is a fan of ketchup and mustard.
Eating whole blocks of Colby cheese at a time is not “cooking”.
Dude. Jerking off to disturbing pictures of animated TV Ponies doesn't make you an "Art enthusiast".
No shit you like to cook.
Is this Artie Lang before or after rehab?!?
Well at least you don’t have to worry about ever turning 40.
We already knew all these things about you just by looking at you, you didn't have to tell us.
23 going on 43
“I also like to cook”, bro I think it’s more “I also like to eat”
Chef Gusto really let himself go after he lost the restaurant...
Looks like a younger version of that ice cream van driver from the bangarang music video
Too fat to fit into a restaurant, learned to cook. Can't get a girl, grew his own tits. This man adapts and over comes.
if redditors had a default skin it would be you
Bet the only time you break a sweat is when your lifting burgers to your mouth
Bro if I wanted to roast you, you’d probably need at least 3 months inside the oven to be completely cooked
Reheating takeout leftovers does not qualify as "like to cook", oh who am I kidding there are no leftovers with you around.
Purely on the fact that you look like a cracked out jonah hill in a vacuum, i am going to sit this one out.
The Legend of Zelda: Diabetes Awakening
You have a pair of titties that’ll make any middle school girl jealous.
A head shave away from looking like Danny Divito as the penguin in Batman returns.
Man you really came dressed for the occasion
I choose you snorlax
The lunch lady