T O P

A good ole Dan Bilzerian murder

A good ole Dan Bilzerian murder

cheap_as_chips

His Wiki page reads like a bad movie: "In December 2014, Bilzerian was embroiled in a legal matter with [pornographic actress](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornographic_actress) Janice Griffith, whom he threw off the roof of a house and into a pool as part of a photoshoot for [Hustler](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hustler) magazine in April 2014. She fell short of the pool, hitting the edge, and broke her foot. The 18-year-old Griffith asked Bilzerian for $85,000 for her injuries, which was rejected. She then filed a lawsuit against both Hustler and Bilzerian, to which Bilzerian's attorney responded that Griffith was under contract for the event by Hustler, that Hustler hired Bilzerian for the event, and that Bilzerian was not at fault. In January 2015, Hustler's attorney claimed that the toss was an "[act of God](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Act_of_God)" and stated that it was not the publisher's fault that Griffith suffered injuries as a result."


denonemc

Sounds like the start to another Tiger King but instead of cub petting it's models


DiamondPup

> ~~models~~ Prostitutes. He's well known for frequently hiring prostitutes.


seathbydnudnu

I don't know who this person is, but if he has all that money why doesn't he invest in military grade defense armor and weapons, a high tech car, put on a cape and a cowl and prowl his city at midnight?


beeph_supreme

Too busy fucking thots


serrations_

Bruce Wayne did both. What's stopping him?


beeph_supreme

Batman has a utility belt. Helps keep his pants on.


universalcode

Bruce Wayne was tall enough to get over himself.


Sunryzen

That requires way more effort than he would ever put in to anything.


CanoeIt

You’re probably joking, but Dan did tell a story of literally assaulting a prostitute in Amsterdam on the 2p2 poker forum way back in the day


DiamondPup

I'm not joking. He's infamous for hiring prostitutes constantly. For photo shoots, for when he goes out to events or on the town, to surround himself and make him look like a lady's man, to fuck, for his friends to fuck, etc.


NonGNonM

I mean do people really believe that many women are around him for his personality? If having a magnificent personality was enough youd see plenty of non-mega rich guys with girls around them all the time. I can believe a guy who has maybe five or a dozen girls hanging off his neck all the time but literally having multiple dozens of girls around? They're hired, prostitutes or not


[deleted]

I spoke with a woman in his circle once, she was fiercely, strangely loyal to him and became extremely offended when I cracked a joke about the guy.


GiveAQuack

I mean he's basically funding her hedonistic lifestyle in exchange for certain services so...


Douglas0327

It was probably his sister


NonGNonM

Guess I was mistaken then.


Firehot01

Girlfriend contracts do exist and are quite lucrative


munky82

I heard about these on a YouTube channel about mega yachts. It is a thing amongst the mega rich. Basically the woman have a contract for an amount of time (2 years was mentioned) where she is exclusive to the wealthy guy as a girlfriend, she gets an allowance etc. After the 2 years it can be renewed or or not. This prevents ambiguity around money and prevents future common law or similar disputes. It is a mechanism to protect the money, but have the woman stay comfortable and know what she is in for.


TheGrandLemonTech

The fuck is this, the outer worlds?


Ysmildr

No one tbinks they're around him cause he's cool. They just think they're models paid to hang at his house for instagram when they're often not


butt_mucher

Well I mean that is what they are there for. I guess the idea is that he claims they are not? IDK.


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Prime157

.... 5...?


CraigJSmith-Himself

In case you're wondering, the answer is cocaine.


nearfignewton

I think viagra played a role in one of them too.


Fedora_Tipper_

Lots of coke with his dad's money.


Ocestormez

He lies about being six feet tall. He also uses cocaine and viagra in massive doses also uses steroids but still somehow looks subpar.


jamiehernandez

I don't like the man, he's really quite sad, but I thought he was pretty open about using prostitutes.


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hitmarker

I heard that wannabe instagram models were asked to join him a ton and they were being paid in exposure.


Ethan_hamily

My friend knows one of them. They aren’t “paid”, but he will give them like $500 to buy $150 worth of food or something, and they get to keep the rest.


hitmarker

Well if there are 10 girls there, not all of them will be given the task to buy food.


Ethan_hamily

Yeah, but it’s along those lines. Not “getting paid” for legal reasons


[deleted]

Hey, someone's gotta buy the blow


OtterChrist

Yeah, no. The prostitute thing is very common knowledge lol.


MyHandRapesMe

Why do you know this? Why does anyone know who this dude is? Wtf is he? Is he important?


Sunryzen

He has basically spent millions of dollars of money that his father stole and left to his sons making himself into a character that people should know about. He isn't particularly important to society, but neither is a freak show at a carnival. Some people admire him, but most only know him because they are so disgusted they can't stop looking. He constantly lies, and he knows that we know he lies, and I assume he continues to lie because when someone calls him out for lying it gives him attention. Much like Donald Trump. Think of how many 15 to 25 year old males want to be millionaires with cool guns and beautiful women around them sucking their dick 10 hours a day. Well, that's Dan Bilzerian, but instead of it being cool, it's just gross and sad. But those kids don't realize it yet or don't care. Because sex and guns.


MasterOberon

What sucks is if you call out the shit he lies about, the people that love him will call you a "hater" or say that you're " just jealous". You can't even have a rational discussion about it. I don't dislike the guy, but him lying about earning his money through poker is such bullshit. As someone who followed poker HEAVILY from the 2007-15 years, I had never heard of Dan until he tried lying saying Phil Ivey was broke. Never heard about him or saw him playing big cash games and he was supposedly sitting with billionaires playing in pots for tens of millions of dollars? FOH lmao What's funny is there's videos of him playing online and he's pretty bad too lol


hooligan_king

He claims he made his money thru poker... Which is hilarious coz he sucks and top pro players have sometimes called him out with no response. Polk regularly gives him grief.


NoMomo

He’s Patrick Bateman for incels and without the taste.


ELB2001

What do you mean his father stole the money? What did his father do?


hamjandal

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Bilzerian?wprov=sfti1


TastesKindofLikeSad

I'd rather pet cubs than models, but probably neither is ideal.


barscarsandguitars

Also sounds like Griffith could’ve avoided getting all toe up if she just had an extra foot


AimlesslyCheesy

Sounds like the Trump administration


bossbrew

Man that chick asked for a fairly reasonable amount considering the circumstances and his wealth. That’s pretty shitty of him honestly, seems like he has no empathy at all. Most people would feel bad for doing something that retarded knowing the dangers involved.


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haughtpocketz

I’m sure she could still do her job lying down.


juiceboxbiotch

I'm sure there's a niche out there for plaster-cast porn


barscarsandguitars

FINALLY reddit mentions my kink! It’s so liberating to be recognized!


Hilby

*RIMshot*


GregorSamsaa

I wonder whose idea it was? I remember back when it first happened watching the video. She was completely on board with it up until the point he was about to let her go. She latched on and killed a lot of her initial velocity in the process. All things considered, she was really lucky that only her foot clipped the edge.


ChiCourier

It was a photoshoot for a magazine. Seems she was asking the wrong person for the money. Legally it should have come from the magazine that ran the photoshoot.


Iohet

You're not protected from liability because you both signed a contract with the same people


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Astrophel37

He was the one that threw her.


ThePopeofHell

Man, this guy sucks so bad. You know that smell you catch in the smoking section of a casino? This guys Wikipedia reminded me of that.


jtrisn1

When I was in pre-law, the first thing that was taught to us was "knowing the law isn't going to win you cases. Knowing how to use the law to win your cases is going to win you cases."


Was_Silly

Clearly he doesn’t follow r/holdmy as it would be clear to him that when a human tries to jump into a pool from a roof, and cameras are present, it invariably ends with a broken bone.


[deleted]

Goddamn I want to have those lawyers im my back pocket.


aloysiussecombe-II

Well, not my style but I guess a lawyer that can get a court to believe that you are a god would be in high demand.


RedLeafsGo

All this time I have been thinking that Dan Bilzerian = Porno Dan. TIL that they are actually two different people, Porno Dan is Dan Leal.


Prime157

Those are the weirdest things to link? No, seriously, I'm asking.


Smell_My_Fingers1

My favourite actress....


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inthemidnighthour

*I Paid Some Asshole on Twitter $5,000 and All I Got Was This Stupid Title* by Dan


MischiefManaged3

By Fall Out Boy


TacticalMicrowav3

Wait. So you wrote a book. An entire book. About yourself. And now you have to give someone $5k to come up with the title?


DiamondPup

He didn't write the book.


iisHitman

But...but..you see him typing on the photo! That should count as writing a book right?


StrangeDrivenAxMan

He is just typing "guns R sxxy" over and over


Faustalicious

It does, welcome to r/writing, I mean r/writingcirclejerk.


-churbs

I hate-follow his snapchat and he posts videos with his draft in the background. It reads at a 5th grade level. The bits I’ve seen are stories of hopping on his private jet, then having sex with models. It’s hilariously bad.


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-churbs

I just took screenshots of his screen in the background. Don’t have them saved unfortunately but next time I do I’ll shoot you a pm.


Phormicidae

Listen, everything about that photo screams honesty. He literally typing his autobiography next to a model with ripped abs, a gun and bullets. Nothing about this is fake at all.


Saedeas

Ghost writers aren't that pricey. I'd guess he took the Trump route.


HenkieVV

Trump didn't actually hire a ghostwriter. Trump wanted to hire a ghostwriter, but got negotiated into giving the writer half of the proceeds of the book, plus credit as an author. It was a hilariously bad deal for Trump.


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HenkieVV

It was.


down_the_goatse_hole

Scratch n sniff colouring book


1of1000

He doesn’t have to. It’s called good marketing


TacticalMicrowav3

Well, I guess any publicity helps after you push a Hustler model off a roof.


MapleSyrupSorry

Why is there a gun on the table??


Cheese_Wheel218

He is obsessed with them, they are constantly around him in all his pictures.


[deleted]

Because he's a very insecure man and needs to show us how much of a manly dude he is by having a gun in every photo.


Zaphanathpaneah

What's funny is that the night of the mass shooting at the country music concert, Dan wasn't carrying. He had his camera guy film him asking a cop to give him a gun during the shooting. It's almost like his guns are just Instagram props or something.


rumoyster

I don’t know who this guy is and I’m not defending him really, but it’s often illegal (state laws) to carry a handgun while intoxicated- even for valid LTC/CHL permit holders. Don’t know about y’all, but I like to drink at concerts.


Sunryzen

Gotta do a desk pop every now and then so your neighbors know you are writing your autobiography.


TimeZarg

It's a compensation mechanism.


roararoarus

That photo is so prop-fake. It's like a stock photo about insecure, hyper-male bougie tough-guys. Edit: I don't do social media except Reddit. After reading about this guy, it's kinda admirable that his life seems just like a series of stock photos.


billycheesecake

all the models in his pics look extremely unhappy


babybopp

He is one of those weird standards guys like John Cena that has rules that women around him have to follow. Plus he personally photoshops asses on women. He was caught photoshopping cardi b ass on insta


Extreme_Dingo

Everything I know about John Cena from Reddit is that he's an all round good man, is this not true?


CatCollection

He played a character on the show Total Bellas. The character he played in the show made tons of little rules and demands about keeping his house very clean and always requiring family dinners and such. In the show it was a source of drama for the cast to bicker about. That's what the comment is referring to.


Extreme_Dingo

Thanks!


Fftlxl0ver

He is a really great guy. He has granted over 600 wishes through the Make-a-Wish foundation. As far as the rules thing goes, if you watch Total Bellas (the E! Show that follows WWE stars Nikki and Brie Bella) you can see how he is pretty nit-picky with his girlfriend later turned fiancé Nikki. He comes off as super anal about how his house is kept and has a strict list of house rules for any guests to abide by including having dinner in formal attire. When Nikki moved in, he made her sign a 70+ page contract outlining his terms. As their relationship progressed he was adamant that he would never marry her or have kids with her. Eventually after she began to become distant he proposed then agreed to reversing his vasectomy to give her a baby. By the time he came around though, the damage was done and she broke it off. Nothing wrong with him being steadfast in what he wanted..at times though it just seemed more like a parent saying no to their kid rather than a partner. All in all he seemed very uptight all the time.


Extreme_Dingo

Thanks. Someone else just replied saying he was just playing a character on that show. Do you know if that's true?


Fftlxl0ver

I think to some extent it was exaggerated for dramatic effect but I really don’t believe he would have allowed himself to be portrayed like that if there was no truth to it. He seemed just so uptight all the time and treated definitely didn’t treat Nikki like she had any say in their relationship. One night someone spilled some wine on his tablecloth and he legit seemed irritated even though it was an unavoidable accident. Also Nikki’s sister Brie and her husband came to stay for an extended time to take care of her after having neck surgery. Cena was undeniably very upset that they brought a small dog with them. Nikki almost seemed afraid for John to see the dog even though Brie, the dog and her husband were staying in the guest house. Cena just seems very particular in what he likes and what he wants. Also he apparently had a really nasty divorce so maybe he was extra cautious because of that. Idk but either way him being adamant about not wanting children ended his relationship with Nikki. If you like Daniel Bryan, John Cena and/or the Bella twins the show is actually pretty decent.


Extreme_Dingo

Cool, thanks for the informative write-up. I might check out the show.


Niggomane

I thought he had taken over the Spotify playlist at a party. That pose in front of a laptop usually indicates that some weird stuff is about to drop. "Let me just put some Death Grips on. I’m sure you’ll all like it“


Juicebeetiling

Let me put a Slipknot song on but the lyrics are "bringing sexy back" by Justin Timberlake, it works I swear!


fancywhiskers

Is this guy STILL around? Ugh gross


Tabnam

Who is he?


Cambot1138

Among other things, he asked cops to give him a gun so he could help during the Vegas shooting.


LeadSky

THATS him? I remember hearing that story. Glad to see he’s still a wannabe


Tabnam

Lmao, what a wanker


babybopp

Dan blizerian. A wannabe army ranger who has daddy’s fraud wealth, and likes to buy big guns and fuck a lot of pretty girls. He is a disillusioned dude who is out of touch with reality. He pretends to be a professional poker player but the reality is that the real pros cozy up to him to get him to play with them where he loses all his money to them. He wishes he had this playboy image but truth is that he pays Vegas hookers and strippers to be around him. He grows a gruff beard to look tough but actually looks like a [low level orc without it](https://www.google.com/search?q=blizerian+without+beard&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-ke&client=safari#imgrc=g9fmeq0m4wQqjM) /s


Exemus

Those two people don't even have the same eye color...


DDsMyDog

Yeah wtf that’s clearly not him


Elbandito78

Holy crap. That beard is doing a lot of heavy lifting.


TaintModel

Chin-ups to be precise.


XRdragon

Now thats something i regret clicking.


satanshand

I hate to defend this assbucket, but that’s not real.


IdenticalThings

This is literally what Jeff from Tiger King wants to be.


SmartBoiiii

I thought that he's a self-made rich playboy. Turns out he inherited the money, paid for hookers and has a few scandals on his name. I really should've done my research on him long ago.


Phtpnk

Dan Blitzerian can be accurately described as a male version of Kim Kardashian, but much worse. He's also Armenian by heritage with an (in)famous father (Kim K's father was part of OJ's defense, Dan's father was a big shot corporate raider on Wall Street, Jordan Belfort type of a guy). He inherited the massive wealth from a trust fund, tried unsuccessfully to qualify for Navy SEALs, and lives a fratboi dudebro lifestyle ever since. He's a trainwreck: He is so addicted to cocaine so much that he had two heart attacks before he turned 32. He spends his money left and right, widely known for using escorts and prostitutes so much to the point where you'd believe he never slept with a woman for free, plays poker constantly (and is bad at it), and has a long rapsheet. His shitty behavior here included, not limited to: * Throwing pornstar Janice Griffith off the roof of his house during a shoot (he was throwing her in the pool, but she hit and broke her leg). He claimed that it was an "act of God" during the lawsuit, and was cleared. * Tried to unsuccessfully run for President in 2016, and endorsed Trump. * He is widely known for personally photoshopping asses of girls featured in his posts. Most infamously, he did that to Cardi B. * He paid $1 million to appear in the movie *Lone Survivor*, then sued the producers for the same amount after his role was reduced (despite it being a cameo). * He was banned from a Miami nightclub after a brawl where he punched a model in the face. * He caused a minor international scandal when he traveled to Armenia: He took an oath of citizenship, and tried to (unsuccessfully) join the Armenian Special Forces. He then traveled to Azerbeijan and caused a shitstorm there afrer traveling to the Republic of Artsakh (a breakaway state of Azerbaijan whose independence is contested by the country) and being on a shooting range. Dan had to flee the country after Azerbaijan protested and issued an international arrest warrant for him. * He was at the site of the 2017 Las Vegas shooting, which he streamed live on Instagram. He caused another ruckus by trying to join the LVPD in the shootout and demanded a gun from the cops, even rummaging for a gun from a squad car before fleeing the scene. The man is.... A lot. A toxic, hypermasculine dudebro who stylizes himself as "Blitz" and "Instagram King" and rides the high of his daddy's trust fund. However, unlike Kim Kardashian, who actually did manage to create a successful brand and trademarked her name for success, he did apsolutely nothing but to gamble, snort or fuck his money away while contributing nothing of interest in return. He's as pathetic as you can imagine him. The reason why he is mocked for being 5"9' (despite it being a normal height) is that he is incredibly insecure of him being "short".


Tabnam

I love discovering train wrecks like this. It makes me appreciate my basic bitch life so much more


SpawnOfGoats

Who is Dan Bilzerian and why is he starving that girl?


BoinkBoinkEtAliae

Son of a weathy convicted fraudster lives in Las Vegas Supposedly a tough guy because he failed out of the SEALs and rides around the desert shooting big guns Gambles and pays women to fuck him and have orgies Hangs out occasionally with Trump Threw a porn star off a roof and got sued for it People make fun of his height for the same reason they make fun of Mike Cernovich's lisp, because he's an insecure hyper masculine idiot (not condoning this, just explaining why it was brought up) Edit: also asked police for a gun during the Las Vegas massacre And kicked a woman lying on the floor in the face to "protect" another woman


SpawnOfGoats

Thanks for the explainer, i think even my search history would be dirtier after that


BoinkBoinkEtAliae

Yeah he posts a lot of greasy photos. Think of Hugh Hefner but without the thin veneer of class Hugh tried to have. It's not a question of consensual adults but of being a sexist right wing douche who isn't a Playboy lothario like he wants you to believe, just another creepy 40 year old guy that buys sex from young women.


the_highest_elf

imma be real, Hefner had more than a thin veneer of class. porn can be downright raunchy and degrading at times, and instead he made it sexy and more sophisticated


amoeba3

[10 Iconic 'Playboy' Articles Everyone Should Know, Because You Actually CAN Read It Just For The Articles](https://www.bustle.com/articles/116648-10-iconic-playboy-articles-everyone-should-know-because-you-actually-can-read-it-just-for-the) Including fiction by Margaret Atwood (author of “The Handmaid’s Tale”) and an Alex Haley interview of Martin Luther King Jr. from 1965.


Cobra_McJingleballs

I saw a link coming and thought it was going to be some recent Playboy takedown (which fair, nowadays), but yeah, the literati elite got published – vied to get published – by Playboy back in the day.


amoeba3

If it were me writing a Playboy takedown, I probably wouldn’t title it “10 Iconic 'Playboy' Articles Everyone Should Know, Because You Actually CAN Read It Just For The Articles.” Was it your assumption, then, that the headline was being sarcastic to the point of incoherence?


otisinthedark9

Not to mention how important Hefner and Playboy is to 20th century American literature.


babybopp

Her was no classy. Read how he treated those playboy bunnies especially the one he almost married and she bailed. A gold digger literally refusing to marry you as an old dirty old man with one foot in the grave. That is how bad he was. Also don’t google how he put raunchy naked pictures of an 11 year old Brooke Shields in his sugar and spice porn magazine, full frontal pussy nudes of an 11 year old girl. Centerfold. Then said her mother gave him consent. America crucified Cosby on hearsay evidence. Michael Jackson on hearsay. We literally have the evidence of this pedophilia. Plus many playboy bunnies were said to have been poached as young as 15. Yet he is a national icon. SurvivingHughHefner should be a thing


PAEDUP

Not disagreeing with you, but definitely misusing hearsay here. Especially with Cosby.


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PizzaDeliveryBoy3000

Let’s not forget this gem either: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/dan-bilzerian-gun-video-las-vegas-shooting-2017-10%3famp What a clown


Roadwarriordude

Give me a gun! *aggressively rubs nose*


illaqueable

Police: "what's wrong, son, gotta cold?" Bilz: "no sir, I have been doing cocaine, it is a drug, now please give me your service weapon so I can go shoot a fellow citizen because I'm SO FUCKING HYPE"


97e1

What a fucking div.


CCDestroyer

Oh, so another emotionally stunted narcissist, then.


[deleted]

That's ok, I'll condone it.


sc00bs000

he also gets real fired up when people pay out on his tiny girl legs


warwolfpilot

Don't forget to mention how he asked a cop for a gun during the mass shooting in Las Vegas and had his camera guy record the whole thing so he could look like a hero while people got shot. Feel free to add this tidbit it in your comment.


Kawaiithulhu

So it's the Streisand Effect =)


livluvlaflrn3

Why is he famous?


Ricky_Robby

For being rich and seeming cool to other fragile toxic men. He’s the ultimate frat playboy fantasy, it’s kind of like how people loved “Entourage” because you can live vicariously through a famous guy that lives the “ultimate bachelor lifestyle.”


Allah_Shakur

5'9' is a ok height, no?


ever_onward

Whatever height is OK, but apparently the guy in question is too insecure so... Read the Wikipedia page, it's hilariously offensive


lelarentaka

Same reason why we make fun of Mike Pence for being gay. Not because we think being gay is bad, but because their attitude towards it creates a situational irony.


Mercy82

Didn’t he also kick a girl in the face in a nightclub?


fb2mb

Here's the Washington Post article about him after his tough guy persona cracked at the Route 91 Harvest Festival shooting: [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2017/10/03/what-a-macho-gun-packing-instagram-star-did-when-he-was-caught-in-the-las-vegas-shooting/](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2017/10/03/what-a-macho-gun-packing-instagram-star-did-when-he-was-caught-in-the-las-vegas-shooting/)


hitmarker

Wasn't there a video of him asking a police officer for a gun and ducking under cover while the cop is standing like "Who the fuck are you? We are 5 miles away from the shooting. And fuck off from me." It was cringe central


easyjo

yes: [https://youtu.be/-MRV230C44M?t=37](https://youtu.be/-MRV230C44M?t=37)


hitmarker

"Get away from me, you know better." Sheesh


Pi4zza

Fucking cringe.


axlswg

this makes me hate this manlet all the more


oh-hidanny

“Chapter 10: when I was totally not a coward that one time”


howmanychickens

Pay to read? No thank you sir


Viiibrations

"Are you happy?" https://youtu.be/snaW34FkxF0


TRUE_BIT

Hahah holy shit that was great. Chick’s reaction said a lot.


Mr-Young

"My dads a huge fan" Ouch.


embiors

Her fucking reaction is so good.


InZomnia365

A walking superiority complex who keeps models on retainer so that 16 year old guys will look up to him.


FluentinLies

Quality shaming.


Keynob_the_Destroyer

His Twitter reads like a bad parody account. Like someone tried to do a run-of-the-mill ITG, but they threw in too much Xander Crews and then topped it off "One liners from Thag".


[deleted]

My personal favourite of his tweets >Celebrities need to stop being concerned with their image, be authentic, if people are offended, don’t apologize, tell them to suck a dick every single thing he posts is staged.


Annihilicious

My stars a Xander Crews reference out in the wild. “Tell that to a mommy panda protecting her cubs”


occupyreddit

Full murder reversal if he chose this guy as the winner and actually made it the title though.


senorali

That would just be him assisting the murderer by committing suicide.


i-cant-read2219

The thing that pisses me off most about him isnt his lawsuit or douchy behavior (kinda) but he made it to the last week of bud/s (SEAL training) and said (i made it to the last week so i basically was a SEAL He failed and claimed he was amongst a group of badass mf’s. Then runs away from the las vegas shooting without helping people. That isnt a thing to criticize a person for, but to claim you were “basically” a special warfare operator and run from danger without attempting to safely help. That is scummy. I may get heat for my last paragraph, but i stand by it


ry8919

BUD/s isn't even half of the SEAL pipeline anyway. SQT which is afterward is longer and you don't get your Trident until you finish it.


i-cant-read2219

He made it to 3rd phase, fell asleep in the field and didnt make it to a muster and was kicked. I did some digging to get a good answer. Apparently his class and instructors made a song called “can’t find bilzerian” a parody of pearl jam’s “can’t find a better man” So even if he did make it all the way, his whole class thoght he was a pompous asshole and when peer review comes around, they’d have exiled him and he’d be dropped anyway


DJRoombaINTHEMIX

I've heard him claim multiple times that he knocked out an instructor on the last day so he got kicked. What a fucknut.


i-cant-read2219

Thats a common thing people say when they were dropped for something embarrassing/quit, people who failed/quit buds (bud/s duds we call them) a lot of times will say that they were dropped for medical reasons or that “bud/s is super political and instructors were against me) which is true, bud/s is incredibly political.


boomboomgotyou

That screen is “sndbendbcindmskaneidhf” copy and pasted 30 times


m240totheface

He’s the biggest fucking douche


HitmanPersonals

Is 5'9 short? I know it's not tall, but damn at what height is the cutoff for short jokes?


MoTheEski

The joke is more about Dan feeling inadequate because of it. 5' 9" isn't even short for men in America, it's average.


AyrnSun

it's only short if the person in question is an Alpha wanna be.


Timevian

It’s really not. That’s about average.


pumpkin2500

probably 6’


GlassFantast

Yeah. I'm 5'10" and still regularly the short guy, not that its a big deal


EddieGrant

It's funny, I'm 5'7", and Dutch, so y'know, tallest people on earth, and nobody ever makes short jokes.


TheLofty1

You just cant hear them all the way down there /s


EddieGrant

Damn you! Haha


TheLofty1

Lol happy cake day friend!


EddieGrant

Thank you, too bad it's a shortcake..


TheLofty1

oooh self burn, those are rare!


Staatsmann

5'7" too from Germany and until I saw memes on reddit about height I never thought it's a problem or something. Maybe US people are more superficial, but whatever country I visited in my life, nobody made remarks about who is in particular short or tall but rather who is a cool person and who is a douche.


[deleted]

As a person of 5'6" height I approve this title


[deleted]

[удалено]


BeardsuptheWazoo

Way to be the bigger man.


Stewartcolbert2024

“I’m a giant fucking pud”. There’s your title.


suck_my_sock

This dude pegged this guy so fucking perfectly and I didn't even know the clowns name. Thank you...


chaoticmessiah

I have no idea who this guy is but reading the comments, he sounds like Trump-levels of douche.


KamuiT

Man, is 5’9 short now? I must be a fucking midget.


KartoosD

It's not, but Dan's the kind of guy who's a douche because he's insecure about being 5'9"


Karava

If you need a bikini clad chick to stand in front of you in your house, pretending to be on a computer, posturing, flexing, and strategically holding her elbow awkwardly to hide part of her side thus making her appear even thinner (which is completely unnecessary, I mean fucking look at her, shes fucking gorgeous), to get your posts likes because just an image of you is not enough to garner attention for your AUTOBIOGRAPHY... pretty sure theres a problem. Edit: also just noticed the random gun on the table. Like if I hadn't seen the comments, I'd already have a pretty good idea of what this book is gonna be about simply based off his post.


husselite

Whats wrong with us short dudes huh? You got beef bro?


DocHoliday96

Hold up, what’s wrong with being 5’9”?


Oneforthebin

Why does he have so many ear lobes?


Vietbootylord420

Tbh, it's pretty ironic that this guy is going to a millionaire's twitter to call him short to get likes and saying HE has feelings of inadequacy...