T O P
Kelli217

Oh, I'm sure she was trying to set you up for one of those extortion schemes that seems to show up in r/tifu every other day.


themysteryoflogic

That's what I was thinking, but I didn't want to make accusations without proof. Definitely the vibe though....


hicctl

but a dick pic would be weird for that. I don´t know about you family, but i am pretty positive that nobody in my close family would recognize me based on a dick pic, and I could simply say she took a random pícture off the internet


arandomperson7

Yeah but a young naive kid at the beginning of puberty might not make that connection and fall for it.


themysteryoflogic

Very true


ThirdEncounter

Or worse. They could claim that you sent the picture to a minor - a lie, of course, but a potentially damaging one.


SuperNya

I don't think you can legally use dating apps at the beginning of puberty


themysteryoflogic

I wouldn't know


popchex

They often coach them through flirting to take a pic with their face in it. "I want to see your sexy eyes," etc. I've seen the ones a friend's husband sent like a fucking idiot - to a woman who knew his mom and sister, who then tried to extort from them by threatening to post on their business pages. My husband and I did damage control, and they actually filed a police report so it didn't go anywhere with that, but he had to fess up to close family and friends what was going on bc she was contacting them to say "tell him to pay or this happens."


themysteryoflogic

Oh geez, that's crazy. Also awkward...


themysteryoflogic

I dunno, I've just heard of it happening. Maybe some guys include their face in it? I guess depending on how it was taken, I could be recognized; got some pretty distinctive stomach and leg scars.


hicctl

yea that is why I find a dick pic weird, you need a bigger body shot ideally with face


themysteryoflogic

I'm never gonna do that haha


crazyabe111

Your family wouldn't recognize you based on your dick? weird, my family can't recognize me by anything else.


themysteryoflogic

....I have questions


World_Navel

Sure but some dumdums take full frontal pics *facepalm*


oldmanlikesguitars

Screen shot of the pic might include user name?


themysteryoflogic

Didn't think of that at the time...


TerrorNova49

In most cases it’s just a blackmail attempt by someone from another country… “send me money or I’ll send this pic to boss/parents/classmates”. In most cases if you tell them to bugger off or just ignore them it’s not worth their time and trouble to hunt down your contacts and actually send anything… they get nothing out of the time spent so they just move on to the next dick pic they’ve gotten or trying to get. Likely dozens at a time.


albarod

Was probably a guy


themysteryoflogic

Got this comment a lot hah


KenDanger2

I would never send anyone a dick pic, but also if somehow someone had one why the fuck would I care if they sent it to my family? They know I have a dick. I would laugh at the blackmailer and urge them to do it.


themysteryoflogic

You got guts haha


mizinamo

How do those go?


themysteryoflogic

I'm not sure what's on TIFU, but typically: girl asks guy for pic, guy thinks with the wrong head and sends pic, girl threatens to send it to everyone he knows if he doesn't give her money or something.


Nezrite

Or her "father" contacts the guy and threatens him with legal (or physical) repercussions if he doesn't pay $XXXXX because she's only 14 years old blah blah blah.


themysteryoflogic

O.o WHAT That's a thing? Damn and I thought I'd heard everything...


Nezrite

In any case, consider that a bullet dodged. Or a nuclear detonation deterred. Whichever.


themysteryoflogic

Dynamite detonation deterred. Alliterative. Haha


a_relaxing_noise

This is usually more the case where it involves video chat afaik. The moment you "cross the line" some dude will appear saying the girl is a minor, they have recorded the video, and they will blast you on social media or go to the cops if you don't pay up. Of course if you do pay it doesn't stop and they will just keep demanding more. Best thing to do is laugh in their face, make private or deactivate your social media for a few weeks, and move on having learned a lesson. Hopefully not that you will ever need that advice of course lol.


themysteryoflogic

O.o well yikes that's terrifying. Good thing I'm such a prude haha


mizinamo

> girl threatens to send it to everyone he knows How is this a threat? If I got an unsolicited dick pic of a friend of mine from some random woman, I'd wonder what *her* problem was.


themysteryoflogic

Depends on the guy, I guess. Personally, I'd NEVER hear the end of it haha


Darth_Dronus

I’m gonna show this dick to EVERYONE, cough up the dough perverrrrt! ….. don’t threaten ME with a good time!


SadLaw6

I’m dead


the_syco

Send a cock picture next time? https://us.123rf.com/450wm/tanor/tanor1807/tanor180700336/105525811-photo-of-a-close-up-beautiful-big-cock-on-a-farm.jpg


themysteryoflogic

I would have... But she specified Dick, not cock.


the_syco

Ah. Explain you're self conscious about your dick, as it's a bit spotty. And if she asks for your a picture of your spotted dick... https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotted_dick


themysteryoflogic

You guys give me so many great ideas.


Smokey_Katt

Maybe a [dik-dik](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dik-dik) would suit the occasion too.


AttemptWeary

More dik than she really asked for, though.


themysteryoflogic

HAHAHA


BrightestHeart

That guy turned out to be a hoax.


themysteryoflogic

There was a conversation about that already haha


Lylac_Krazy

I'm a bit older, so I would have went with Tricky Dick


themysteryoflogic

That was actually my first thought, but I was afraid she wouldn't get it.


Lylac_Krazy

I'm with ya there. Now in thinking of Spotted Dick....


roger_ramjett

I was thinking Dick Tracy.


scintor

Yes. Literally no woman in the world would solicit a dick pic from a stranger.


binxiecat

Not necessarily true 😅 usually we try to be a bit more gracious with that kink tho, this interaction sounds like not that


TheRestForTheWicked

Yeah. I’m committed now but if I asked for one and if a dude was like “uh no” I’d be like “oh okay” and then change the subject to my favourite flavour of Doritos or ask what shade of green was their favourite or something because like…harassment isn’t cool.


themysteryoflogic

Exactly. This. THIS.


TheRestForTheWicked

I’m sorry this happened to you dude. I know how uncomfortable I’ve been when I’ve been pressured for lewd photos, I can’t imagine it would be that much different for guys. Your comeback though was just *chef’s kiss* 💯


themysteryoflogic

Hahaha thank you for the compliment!!


themysteryoflogic

Right? Seemed sus to me haha


themysteryoflogic

That might be debatable. haha


Cassie0peia

I agree. Btw, sending you a long distance high five. Loved your response to that jerk who wouldn’t take “no”for an answer!


themysteryoflogic

Thanks! Long distance high five back! Haha


J3ebrules

I mean, I am non-binary, but perceived as a woman, so maybe that negates my anecdotal rebuttal - I have two X chromosomes and have requested a photo of a stranger’s phallus. Edited to add that your comment may explain why I was flagged on Craigslist at the time as a potential scammer…


themysteryoflogic

HAHAHAHAHAHA I'm sorry, the edit killed me hahaha


echo-94-charlie

I suspect that many people like chocolate cake, but don't like it when random strangers continually keep popping up and stuffing it in their face.


themysteryoflogic

Good analogy.


J3ebrules

You underestimate my love for chocolate cake, fellow Redditor.


RedTedBedLed

You dont send a dick pic and your face pic together, always just a 'dick'


themysteryoflogic

Some of my buddies apparently did that hah


Spiteweasel

I love it! Here are a couple of other fun options. You can always go with Dick Grayson (for the non comic book nerd this is one of the characters who took on the mantle of Robin) from Batman then say it's a picture of Batman's Dick. Also the English dish Spotted Dick. This one is particularly fun because if they complain you can turn around and give them shit that they don't like it because of the spots.


themysteryoflogic

I didn't even think of Grayson since she admitted early on that she didn't know and didn't like comics and comic-related movies. The dish idea is BRILLIANT. Where the hell were you six months ago?? I NEEDED YOU. (Also: username checks out.)


BrightestHeart

Also some pictures of a 1930s hardboiled detective, maybe Bogart as Philip Marlowe. It's so hard to read those books with a straight face when he keeps calling himself a dick.


themysteryoflogic

Gonna have to read those now, y'know


Abject_Shoulder_1182

Thank you for that 😂


SecondTalon

When it comes to Dick Pics, I'm a Nixon man myself.


themysteryoflogic

I wanted to go there but I was afraid it would be too outdated.


cortb

Heh, choosing which dick certainly can be tricky


themysteryoflogic

WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAHA


SfcHayes1973

Here you go spraining a rib again ;)


themysteryoflogic

My laugh muscles are too well developed, I guess...


MajorNoodles

Tricky Dick is my go-to as well.


themysteryoflogic

You have good taste.


VegasAdventurer

You could try Andy Dick, if you really want to annoy them


Queentroller

That's my go to.


globalwarninglabel

May very well not have been a female wanting your d-pic.


themysteryoflogic

Then that was a very committed dude, her IG/FB went back YEARS and we messaged a couple times on both platforms. O.o hahahaha


JustCuriousAgain79

I’ve seen old accounts get hacked by scammers. Got a message from an old neighbor on yahoo messenger. I kept asking questions about this or that and kept getting back really odd non-sensical messages and things about needing money. I’m sure it wasn’t her or her son.


themysteryoflogic

Hmm, that's fair. Still doubt that was the case here but either way, bullet dodged


DangersVengeance

I send photos of Dick Dastardly, usually intentionally unsolicited with “dick pic” as a caption. If they don’t see the funny side it’s not gonna work. Never a penis photo tho.


TheReluctantOtter

That's superb. I'm Mutley sniggering over here


themysteryoflogic

You're doing WHAT now??


TheReluctantOtter

Sniggering like Muttley, Dick Dastardly's dog https://youtu.be/hw3CE04LGiA


themysteryoflogic

I have questions....


TheReluctantOtter

I never claimed to have answers


themysteryoflogic

That's fair hahaha


momentsofchaos

I never claim it is the answer they are looking for either. I have answers; the trick is they are not always the right answers!


themysteryoflogic

I'm stealing this haha


The_Sanch1128

At my office-- "I have questions." Me: "I have answers. Let's see if they're about the same thing."


themysteryoflogic

I don't know who that is...brb gotta google...


DangersVengeance

….I feel old now.


DriftingPyscho

Wacky Races was comedy gold as a kid.


PhreakBert

Peter Perfect is relevant to the current discussion.


bassman314

Right?


imilnes

Get their own profile picture and return it as the "Dick" pic


themysteryoflogic

EVERYONE GO HOME, THIS GUY WINS


Dan31BZ6

If they persist I send a pic of a Dik-dik. Small antelope from Africa.


themysteryoflogic

TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE--wait, does that mean there's FOUR if I send a picture of two Dik-Diks? Am I doing math on Dik pics? Yes, yes I am...


Dan31BZ6

Your Dik math is off! A Dik-Dik is a single antelope. Dik math is hard......


themysteryoflogic

But the name implies two Diks, even though there's only one, so one Dik-Dik is worth two. My math is FLAWLESS. hahaha


Cburd48

Well technically, only the males are "dik diks". The females are just straight up diks. 😁


themysteryoflogic

So I have to check the dik-dik for a dick for the double dik to count, otherwise it's just a dik?


Cburd48

Sounds logical to me 😁


themysteryoflogic

You get an award for the weirdest conversation I've had on this site ;) hahahaha thank you


jdmillar86

I think its 3 if the picture is from the right angle.


themysteryoflogic

HAHA that's a GREAT point!


seanner_vt2

When I get the 'send your dick and ass pics" I send a picture of a rooster perched on a donkey


Murgatroyd314

The rooster isn't a dick, it's a cock. You need a picture of a detective riding a donkey.


themysteryoflogic

BRILLIANT


PM_ME_FLUFFY_COWS

I do something similar when someone asks for boob pics. I Google image search man boobs and send a nice spicy one. Then when they whine, I reply “You asked for boobs, you didn’t say whose boobs.” A coworker pissed me off just last night asking for “🎈🎈and 🌮” pics. A grown ass man used those emojis. Regardless of either party’s gender and/or genitalia, when we say we’re not comfortable sending those type of pics, that is the end of the conversation!


themysteryoflogic

Hope you sent him balloon and taco pictures! But seriously, 100% on your last point. I don't get bowed up over people asking once (how else you gonna learn?) but once they get their answer, they need to STOP.


Shazza_Mc_ShazzaFace

My husband occasionally sends me Dick pics. I'll have to show him this thread 🤣 I showed my sister a photo of my husband while we were dating and she pops out with, "Uh, he's not that cute." I responded with, "Considering we met online, and continue to chat/email each other long distance, I didn't fall in love with him because of his looks." We've been married for 17 years now and my sis is a bitchy divorcee.


themysteryoflogic

Wow that's awesome! Congrats to you both!!!


Shazza_Mc_ShazzaFace

Thanks! Because, realistically, hubby's the one that has gotten handsome with age, while autoimmune diseases has taken their toll on my looks. We really don't look like our wedding photos. But, that's not what kept us together. We're couple of nerdy/geeky dorks that make each other laugh.


themysteryoflogic

Y'all sound amazing. That kind of connection is the best. Maybe someday I'll find that haha


AltruisticAd996

That's sexual harrasment. Does Hinge allow you to report such people?


themysteryoflogic

Not sure, since this conversation happened over text. We departed Hinge pretty early in the conversation, back where I mentioned Hanna and I exchanged contact info. I know you can report it if it happens in Hinge chat. Outside that, though, I'm not sure.


AltruisticAd996

Oh okk


themysteryoflogic

I've also never been taken seriously when I report harassment/assault, so I guess that didn't really cross my mind either...just dealt with it as hilariously as I could and moved on hahahaha


AltruisticAd996

That's actually really sad. We should take it more seriously


themysteryoflogic

Not going to argue that...but until we do, I'll cope in my own way haha


AltruisticAd996

Yeah, humour is a good copium


themysteryoflogic

The best!


Typhlosion112191

Sad fact is that most claims of sexual harassment from men get ignored or mocked. It's just part of that long ingrained "boys don't cry" attitude many of our grandparents and great grandparents grew up with.


themysteryoflogic

I'm not sure that's the cause; I've always thought it had more to do with popular culture portraying men as always horny and always "wanting it." If you want it, can't be assault! :P


Typhlosion112191

That doesn't help either, but it also doesn't help that mindset came from the attitude as what I said. You are right, though, that the general societal viewpoint is that men are insatiable sex fiends and therefore can't be sexually harassed or raped unless there is proof of severe (potentially life threatening) physical harm. Historically, this is partially because of gay bashing, too. Before the late 80s/early 90s, men would be ostracized from their communities for being gay, if not outright hunted down and beaten nearly to death or killed outright. It was so common that most closeted gay men would get married to women and start families just to keep from being attacked (though it was still common enough knowledge of the act that it was a common reason for divorces in the wife's favor).


Regret_the_Van

Most guys aren't taken seriously when it comes to sexual harassment/assault. More often they get ostracized for even talking about it.


themysteryoflogic

Yeah that's been my experience anyway. Meh.


Van_illa

Much too often men are sexually harassed because “they must like it.” Please Janet, stop touching my butt. We are at work and im married.


snappyland

I don't know anyone involved, of course, but the first thought that jumped into my mind as I read this post was to *wonder if maybe the OP was being catfished*.


themysteryoflogic

Not sure who would be catfishing me though. All my buddies are more obvious than that, and they're not very good actors either haha


Elspeth_McRae

That person who mocked you for your selfie - shame on her! Her actions make her look really immature and awful. Hope you never lose your sense if humor - it really helps you get through the travails (and nasty folks) in life! All the best to you, pal.


themysteryoflogic

Thanks! I appreciate it!


hanzzz123

"She" was probably looking for blackmail material


themysteryoflogic

That was definitely the vibe I got. 99% sure it was actually a girl though, either that or a *really* dedicated guy (due to the socials).


[deleted]

[удалено]


themysteryoflogic

If that's the case, it was a really dedicated gay guy with a really good girl friend supplying him all the pics for the extensive social media profiles on FB and IG. Haha I think it was more of a blackmail situation.


DuckOpen

Personally, I appreciate guys who don’t send dick pics! Her being persistent it’s a huge red flag


themysteryoflogic

I appreciate girls who don't ask for dick pics haha


DuckOpen

Haha! I also don’t appreciate being asked! It makes me uncomfortable!


ffiendish

Assuming it’s not a catfish, at least you learned very quickly not to waste your time on that person. I admire your sense of humour, fuck other peoples negative opinions! I hope your experiences won’t dishearten you so much, there are good people out there as well and you deserve better. I wish you the best of luck in the future, good things will come in time :)


themysteryoflogic

Thanks, I appreciate that!


mostavis

I myself use Dick Grayson pics. You can have hooded ones, clean cut ones, dark ones, light ones....


themysteryoflogic

*takes notes* Go on...


Used_Refrigerator_13

Love it! As a female, I was asked multiple times for a picture of my boobs. I sent a picture of raw chicken breasts. Never asked again.


Regret_the_Van

I would have sent a picture of a big black rooster. There's her cock picture.


themysteryoflogic

That was gonna be my go-to if she stopped calling it a d\*ck and started calling it a c\*ck. My folks even have a rooster I could photograph and they don't live too far away! Would I have driven thirty minutes just to take a photo of a rooster for which to mess with someone? You bet your ass I would. HAHAHAHAHA


flapinflamingos

Oh man this is hilarious. I love how you responded. I (f) have been asked for dirty pics on occasion. My solution was to go outside and take a pic of the dirt and send it.


themysteryoflogic

Haha I love how many people have this kind of humor!


flapinflamingos

Well i am not very comfortable with the way my body looks. Im not big but not skinny either. But i have stretch marks from having children. But i have always been "modest" i dont like showing off. But i do love making people laugh. Helps me deal with my insecurities.


mamabear-50

Some guy asked my daughter for a naked picture. She sent him one. He was not amused because she sent him a pic of a bottle of juice with the same name. 😂


themysteryoflogic

HAHAHA she's smart


amaraame

If i was such a person who asks for dick pics from strangers, this would've made me laugh when it came.


themysteryoflogic

Awesome hahaha


BoringNYer

I send Dick York or Dick Sargent pics


themysteryoflogic

...I'm not familiar with those...I'm gonna add them to my list though haha


DepletedGeranium

not familiar? The first guy is the actor who played Darren, husband of Samantha (played by Elizabeth Montgomery), on the US television show, *Bewitched*. So is the second guy.


Mama_Cougar

I would have asked her if she wanted a pic of my tricky dick and then sent her a pic of Nixon.


StabbyPants

my go to is Nixon. super recognizable too


Equivalent_Coffee_73

Ask me again and you’ll get fucking Nixon!


themysteryoflogic

After THAT, we go to the comics! haha


raindragon92

Using hinge was your first mistake lol. It's such a bad app. Glad you didn't send what she wanted, don't let people force you to break your boundaries for any reason


themysteryoflogic

Honestly Tinder was worse haha Nah, I'm a stubborn person, and my boundaries are there for good reasons haha


raindragon92

I haven't even thought about joining tinder. I'm not into hookups so why would I join a site pretty much designed for hookups?


SpiderKnife

You are my hero.


cosmicanchovies

You, sir, are a goddamn keeper and I'm sorry you've had such shit luck in the dating dept.


MikeSchwab63

I would have sent a pic of Tricky Dick. Or his tatoo on Roger Stone's back.


themysteryoflogic

Nixon was actually my first choice...but then I figured that might be too far back. Haha


BipedSnowman

"accusing" you of being trans is gross. Even if you were, that doesn't change your right to bodily autonomy. It's also somehow even more invasive then asking for a dick pic? Like, hey, you won't show me your body? I'll take your medical history instead. I'm sorry this happened to you, I'm glad you were able to take it in stride.


WingsofSky

Sounds like it was a guy, pretending to be a woman. You get those running around. Hate them.


EddaValkyrie

>she immediately posted it on social media to mock me (think "Hey look at this loser who thinks he's got a shot" type of post). People are so awful


JavaJan13

I keep a picture of Richard "Tricky Dick" Nixon om my phone for this very reason.


Cecil-Kain

I’ve had plenty of people immediately block me after I send a pic of my face. Like, okay that hurts. But fine. However, if I ever found out that someone posted a pic of me online to make fun of me—especially posting without my permission—you better believe there would be a story on either the pro revenge or nuclear revenge subreddits. That’s disgusting behavior. I don’t care who you are or how highly you think of yourself. The kind of person who thinks that’s okay deserves a pie full of horse manure in the face. Or better yet, a pie like the one in The Help. I’m sorry that someone would do that to you; that’s awful!


roger_ramjett

I guess i'm from a different generation. First thing I thought was a picture of Dick Tracey.


atimburtonfilm

I do SFX makeup, so I always send a photo of me with bloody holes where my eyes and mouth are when they ask for a photo lol


themysteryoflogic

That's terrifying. You're hired.


Griggle_facsimile

That's great. I wish I'd thought of that when I was dating. It would have weeded out a lot of the girls who had no sense of humor.


atimburtonfilm

Exactly! Haha if that freaks you out enough to stop talking to me, you’re not gonna like me anyways 🤣


platypusandpibble

Perfect!!


themysteryoflogic

Thanks! It was so hard to decide between Nixon (my first pick) and Cheney, but I went with Cheney because he was more recent.


just_a_sloth


mrsnaninja

I usually send a guitar pic that says dick on it


Popular_Emu1723

When I was a teenager I had some random dude on Kik who really wanted “sexy pictures.” I played dumb and sent him a few different versions of the word sexy in clip art before blocking him.


crawdad16

Hey you sound like a fun and maybe nice person. Don't worrie, there is someone for you! As you get older people become more into substance, and less shallow, mostly. Best of luck and I really love this!


curahn

We have a similar sense of humour. When I was dating my now wife, I sent her a WhatsApp message titled unsolicited dick pic, of Dick Cheney. She said she was shocked, because the message title came up first, then the picture loaded.


junebug2142

Absolutely an extortion scheme


MonkeyPanls

My standard Dick pic is [Nixon's presidential portrait.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2c/Richard_Nixon_presidential_portrait_%281%29.jpg)


oy-what-i-deal-with

Hysterical!! On a side note, I wish the guys that “match” with me would think that way! The disrespect & disgusting comments are enough to turn me off completely


themysteryoflogic

On behalf of men, I apologize. Pretty sure we only have enough blood to run either the brain or the boner, but not both at once. Bit of a design flaw there, but still...sorry. Haha


warriornun801

Should have sent her Dick Tracey!


NorthernRedneck388

Here’s another [dick pic ](https://imgur.com/a/WzB88jN) you can send. Don’t worry it’s SFW


one111one

Whenever I get a new phone number, I send them a pic of Dick Clark saluting and I write "Obligatory Dick pic".


ZombiePotato90

A random guy added my wife on Snapchat, and we decided to reply to see what he was about. Turns out, it's one of those guys who you just know will send a dick pic. She hands me the phone, and I (as my wife) say "you wanna see my boobies?" "Yea bby" was his reply. So I sent him a picture of a magnificent pair of blue-footed boobies. He replies by sending a picture of his dick. I reply with "that's nice, wanna see mine?" He never replied.


webstackbuilder

[I am not what you would call a handsome man](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/a3f5dd4d-c997-4798-8976-f2acbd5bfad0), either.


themysteryoflogic

HAHAHA