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A_WoodHouse

This includes toxic family members and friends, not just lovers!


throwitawayuserna213

Yes! All LV. Good words, Sis


bonsaithot

Yes - this does not only apply to men but to everyone around you! Wish I had learned this lesson earlier in life.


A_WoodHouse

Definitely had to learn this the hard way! Just because someone is family does not mean you have to tolerate abuse


PalmTreePhilosophy

Was just going to write this. Yeh LVM are everywhere and girls and women are manipulated into listening to their nonsense from a young age. LVM speak the loudest so it's important to drown them out/not absorb their childishness.


triplem6

I love this analogy! I’ve been thinking about this a lot too about how that energy can be redirected to better use. Instead of worrying if a LVM is doing well I can check in with myself/take care of myself. I no longer go through cycles of mood changes depending on what a LVM puts me through and so don’t have to recover from that rollercoaster. It helps a lot to think of it in this way!


[deleted]

This is so true. It’s amazing how quickly the energy pours back into yourself… Sometimes it’s a matter of days! What I have found that made the key difference in expediting this process is mourning the loss. Allow yourself a few days to miss that person, and cry deeply to the point where you were yawning. More than likely, you were also processing and letting go of a part of yourself that no longer serve yourself from childhood. I never really did that… I got into the hate stage, they suck, buried them and moved on. And it just broke off a relationship with an LVN after a handful of months, and for the first time I actually love myself to miss him and feel bad and sad about it. The key differences in the past I was afraid to do it because I thought I’d reach out to them to see with my emotional pain, however I just did with my emotional pain and I ended up processing much more than just the ending of this relationship. I also process the ending of certain behaviors I had that contributed to a toxic environmen Remember that even though LVM suck, they give us a chance to really see ourselves and work past our childhood traumas and way of behaving in certain dynamics. When you take the opportunity to grow from an experience with an LVN, to dig deeper and let go of certain behaviors you have and certain dynamics you attract, your life just levels up so quickly Edit to add: Mourning the loss includes mourning the loss of the relationship, mourning the loss of what could’ve been, mourning the loss of old ways that you were contributing to the dynamics that no longer serve you, mourning the loss of the good times… Because then the clouds will part and you can actually see what really happened


PrettyTrees91

Such a great reminder. I needed this! Thank you Queen!


[deleted]

Pleasure!


throwitawayuserna213

Good words. I will take this advice. Thanks, Queen! Always such good stuff to learn.


[deleted]

Pleasure!


dimsummer-

I'm experiencing this now after a breakup. Everything just feels so much... easier and more possible. I have so many personal goals that I could never seem to make progress on while in a relationship with my LVX and couldn't figure out why. We've been broken up for a month and I've made more progress on multiple fronts than I have in the last year.


AudQueen

This!! I also realized that he did a lot of things to purposely take up any free time I had and emotional energy so I wouldn’t have the energy for anyone else. He would constantly compare his achievements to mine and I would try my hardest to encourage him to do better 🤡. Whenever we were together he would try to get me to “relax” (sit around and do nothing all day) with him. Now the I cut him off, my to do lists and calendars are back! The sense of freedom and peace I live in now is unmatched.


PizzaNo7741

Thanks to FDS (no, really. if it wasn't for this community...) I blocked and deleted someone who had hurt me, lied, bare minimum kind of guy that I always gave the benefit of the doubt... for reasons? i guess? Ii always kind of knew I was low self esteem and it affected my relationships, but I didn't know how or what to do to start fixing that. FDS confirmed... step one was cutting this dead branch out of my life, step two was spending a lot of time on my own feeling the feelings and just being by myself... now I feel so much better, like I legit detoxed off of harmful chemical substance (stress!! Cortisol!!) it's been about 6 months since I cut it off, and i'm researching sperm donation because ii still want to start a family soon. But now it doesn't feel contingent on a person that holds my whole future and happiness in my hands.. did i level up ? :o


babalous420

i feel like i needed to hear this... thank you <3


bonsaithot

I really think you're completely correct in this theory. I commented in someone else's comment, but just wanted to share my personal experience. I recently cut off LVM and friends and family members (but kept the ones that enriched my life) and it's amazing how much energy I have to "hit the mark" on things I've been wanting to do - personally and professionally! My life is glowing up in a way that I didn't even think was possible before and that's really inclusive of my ENTIRE life - not just in romance or in dating.


throwitawayuserna213

I love to see it! We all do. Keep it up, Sis. I've been seeing the same which prompted me to write the post. It really is like magic.


prettytheft

When you make space for new and better people, they will naturally come! ❤️


elainejay82

Living the turn around right now. Life is no longer dismal and almost anything seems possible now. I wake up excited! Rested. At peace.