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Why are so many men so unhygienic and disgusting?

Why are so many men so unhygienic and disgusting?

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literal_salamander

"I haven't done anything all day, I haven't sweated, I don't need a shower". Meanwhile this is day 3 of "haven't done anything"


no_tak

As someone with depression I'm just gonna openly admit that I sometimes don't shower for a few days and that I know what it's like to feel like it's easier to live with your own BO and feeling of being sweaty and dirty than it would be to drag yourself into the shower. HOWEVER! I only do that when I know I'm not gonna see anyone. Going to work/friends/dates like that just shows so much disrespect for the people around you.


Maude2010

I have chronic depression so I can get pretty gross. I don’t date when I’m at those low points though. Men just assume they’ll be desirable no matter what state they’re in.


literal_salamander

bUt yOu nEed tO aCcEpt mE fOr wHo I aM, oTherWise yOu are a gOld dIggIng wHore, nOt mY rIde oR diE - smelly, unwashed men still expecting a hot, nice smelling and made up girlfriend


Emergency-Feed8216

First thing I noticed when we started spending half the year in a capital city in a South American country was how no one stank, not even on a packed subway on a sweltering day. Not even the street guys stink. At first I thought I was losing my sense of smell, but nope. Everyone's scrubbed. Every bathroom has a bidet. I'm originally from NYC where the funk in any crowded place could knock you to your knees.


OptionalCookie

I'm in NYC right now. A guy (well dressed) passed me and he smelled like hot ass and wet dog. I hate Stillwell. Edit: I'm the train operator. You cannot be in my car playing loud music, or stinking. I have NO WHERE ELSE TO GO.


Emergency-Feed8216

You're on the front lines of the funk! You should get combat pay!


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pretty_kill

You make NYC sound disgusting. I’ve never been there but now I really don’t care to go 🤢


Emergency-Feed8216

Olafactory assault isn't a crime but it feels like one. I can understand the difficulty of bathing for the homeless but remember traders smelling like sour milk, expensive bad cologne, dry cleaning, eggs benedict and greed. Maybe that was the odor of their karma and doesn't wash off? Maybe all the college coke dulled their sense of smell? Mysteries.


Elegaunt

> I told them they had to move to the next car otherwise I wasn't moving the train and I was calling the police. The guy gets mad and tells me ... I stink. Lmao. Projection from NVM knows no bounds!


SkyWanderluster

Was it Brazil? We're notorious germphobics. Pretty common to see people brushing their teeth in whatever public restroom, sinks in every restaurant and mall's eating courts, and it's normal to shower twice a day during summer. First thing our friends and family comment abt when traveling abroad is how much people stink lol It's also socialy acceptable to mock people's bad hygiene here, it fits into our culture of making fun of everything. It's not a humiliation thing but more like "Damn José, I could smell your breath entering the building" and the most surprising part: men actually shame each other.


bioqueen53

I'm from a Latin family and live in the US. My family is always amazed at how gross Americans can be.


DuchessDurag

You’re right. I’m from Australia and a lot of our men especially blue collar workers have poor hygiene. I once dated a US Marine who was Latino and despite the hot weather in Australia, I loved the fact he stayed clean and smelled good all the time.


Davina33

The Jamaican men I've come across have always been pretty clean, at least two showers a day. My grandparents were Jamaican and took hygiene extremely seriously. I would have two Dettol baths a day round there 🙊


Emergency-Feed8216

Interesting about men policing each other's hygiene. Sounds about right.


Maude2010

Interesting! I had a relationship with a NV Brazilian when I was younger. Complete trash bag of a person and he’d put his dick in anything, but he was very on top of his hygiene and also had a very clean house. I always thought it was an odd disconnect because he was so gross in every other way.


Emergency-Feed8216

We're further south. 😁 I haven't been to Peru but multiple showers and repeat tooth brushing sounds like the continental norm. It has to be more than just frequent showering and dental care though. Our kids' tutor bikes a half hour every day in lockdown to get here but he's still fresh as morning dew. I suspect that people tend to have healthier gut flora.


PeanutButterPigeon85

>bidet Getting a bidet changed my life. Now the thought of not using one is horrifying.


Emergency-Feed8216

After living in South America a third of their lives, my teen sons and daughter think it's uncivilized not to have one. It seems the quarantine toilet paper shortage sparked more interest in bidets in the US but maybe not enough to overcome the cowboy aversion. Bathrooms aren't typically designed to fit them but there are sink top versions.


PeanutButterPigeon85

There are inexpensive but effective bidet toilet extensions that can be installed in the U.S.!


throwawayforunethica

I have the neo lux bidet. It like $39 on Amazon, takes less than ten minutes to install, requires no hot water or electricity. I HATE using a restroom elsewhere. My son has always used it, but questioned it when his dad called it "gay" because he asked his dad to put one in his bathroom. "Guys, is it gay to have a clean ass??"


Emergency-Feed8216

What constitutes manly behavior seems to differ from culture to culture. Apparently, the US measures manhood by the degree of accumulated filth and bacteria on men's arseholes and teeth. I had no idea my husband was gay, but apparently he is by that measure. My sons, too. They all take two showers a day, brush and floss x 2 or 3 and the bidets get traffic. The size of your water bill and needing a bigger water heater: the ultimate gaydar.


throwawayforunethica

Lol yup, I'm in the US. Men touching their own asshole to wash it is also gay. I've dated way too many men here with this view for this to be an anomaly. It's disgusting. But I'm expected to spend $600 a year on Brazilians because "hair down there is gross". Guess what's grosser down there? Shit. Shit is much grosser. Wash your ass. Everyone wash your ass.


Emergency-Feed8216

I don't understand how people have sex wihout bidets unless it's a quicky after showering. But if people are into elaborate sessions and someone has to take a bathroom run (advisable for women especially to avoid uti), do they take showers all over again??


PeanutButterPigeon85

Well, there's at least a few posts per month on the relationship subs from women asking how they can convince their husbands to stop leaving skid marks on the bedsheets. So...clearly someone is having sex with these men, as gross as it seems.


PasDeTout

Insisting on a shower beforehand should really be normalised. I am really surprised at the number of women who put up with near constant UTIs many of which which could be prevented by having a partner who’s washed himself thoroughly and cleaned under his fingernails!


Emergency-Feed8216

I thought taking a shower before hand *was* normalized.


Emergency-Feed8216

Doesn't compute. How do these women not puke?


Davina33

I should not laugh but 😂😂. Hell, we sweat just lying in bed all night. Especially if you have autoimmune disease like me, so I cannot imagine not washing. Depression and health issues aside, they need to get washed.


literal_salamander

Even if you don't sweat, there is skin oil and just general...body funk. I have dry skin, but even for me after MAX 5 days my hair starts smelling oily. Can't imagine having normal oily skin and thinking because you haven't sweated you don't have to wash...


mashibeans

Oh! Add to that, the dust in the air AND the dead skin cells get stuck and mixed with the natural oils and sweat of the body. This is particularly stronger in parts like all the crevices of the ear (everything just before the earhole starts) and behind too, armpits, belly button, and crotch and butt area. Not all of it goes away from the body after a shower (especially if it was a shitty shower), and it's why it's important to regularly wash towels too. Can you believe I feel the need to add the towel bit from now on due to some people saying towels don't need to be washed or washed like regular clothes...


Davina33

Talking of belly buttons. I wash mine with rubbing alcohol on a cotton bud. Now, my ex boyfriends have looked at me like I've got two heads when I ask them if they clean theirs. Belly buttons stink so bad and are home to many bacteria. Many people overlook this.


Tomoshaamoosh

My dad will just stick an unwashed finger in his whilst talking to us. He’s need anti fungal and steroid creams in the past for infections. So ducking disgusting


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Davina33

My belly button is too small to dry off with a towel. I dry off with cotton buds and wash with either rubbing alcohol and rinse with water afterwards or make up remover cream on a cotton bud.


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woadsky

What is your routine for the under boob area?


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Reporter_Complex

The towels thing gets me hahaha I use mine 3 days in a row then wash. I live in regional Australia and we've just come out of the worst drought I've ever seen, and we are on tank water. If it doesn't rain, we dont have water, so some habits had to be changed for the greater good, which leaves me a bit short handed when it comes to these particular discussions lmao. We were limited to showering every 3 days at the absolute worst of it, and even 5 minutes was a luxury. That being said, I sponge bathed morning and night, and cleaned teeth as normal. Hair had to wait, so ther were lots of braids and messy buns to try and keep it clean in between. Anyway, point is, even without a shower, you can still wash yourself to be clean. The fuck these dudes not doing it? Rancid. Edit - I just re read this, excuse the messy all over the place comment. I'm in the middle of a mania episode and constructive writing isn't agreeing with me rn


Davina33

Yep! We have dust mites in our beds that shed their excrement everywhere. There are so many people who don't even know that. I have afro-Asian hair, it doesn't get oily really but I wash it every 3 days roughly. Shower in the morning and before bed. I've been called all kinds of names for doing that but with an overactive thyroid, it's far more comfortable. I know people, including my own parents who don't change their sheets AT all. It's disgusting.


TrixieFriganza

How is it possible to live in a bedroom and never wash the sheets? I can't imagine all the smell and shit in that ned, I mean it starts smelling after a week or maybe even earlier. My dad was not as bad but I remember when I was a kid him complaining that I'm washing my sheets too often, then he had the audacity to complain if I had not made my bed every morning, imo that it's clean is lot more important rather than it looking perfect all the time. These mixed signals where confusing as a kid though.


Davina33

It is pretty disgusting and smelly. I remember on my childhood bed, I didn't have a duvet, just a bottom sheet. It never got washed. My mother and stepfather would let me sit on their bed to watch telly sometimes. I would sneeze constantly with all the dust. I don't understand it either, especially in the summer. Especially even more when people get into them at night without washing. They would smell even quicker.


IgetUsernameScraps

I see you’ve met my husband.


whitefox00

Is the divorce not finalized yet?


IgetUsernameScraps

No because just like with everything, I have to do everything. So I gotta make some time to do the papers. I’ve just been tolerating him in the meantime. Also life is too comfy for him so no way will he want to.


splendiddiamonds

You've got 169,000 of us behind you. Godspeed, sis, and enjoy your new life


throwawayforunethica

Ah, you've met my NV ex. He bragged that his (soon to be ex) wife did all the paperwork because he didn't bother to. The things I found acceptable 🤡


whiskey_and_oreos

Damn my ex remarried fast. Godspeed, sister. 🙏🏻


literal_salamander

Better yet, this sounds like my ex from 8 years ago. Certainly had time to get married to some other poor woman. Maybe it's this same guy who's been married/dated all three of us 🤣🤣


RabidWench

*Blinks twice slowly....* Current?


IgetUsernameScraps

Yes. I guess “I want a divorce” won’t sink in until I shove papers in his face. Then he’ll say I blindsided him, that I’m tearing the family apart, why am I so selfish (hah!)... etc.


RabidWench

I wish you the best of luck going forward and finding a way to free yourself with a minimum of fuss. You've got this. We are all here to support you when you need it. 💙


Jane1911

My ex-husband said the same thing, but I can tell you (which you might already know) that once it’s all said and done, it’s an amazing feeling. Sending any strength you need Queen ♥️


ConfusedPanda17

I don't understand this logic at all. Even if I showered the day before and I've done nothing today, of course I'll shower before a date because I don't want to be sloppy and want to be my best self. If they can't shower for a first date, they're a waste of time.


_queeeen_

I like men who work out every day. And shower after. And who look like they work out every day. 😘


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warinmymind94

I've gotten negged on a few first dates as a pickme. I would wear a nice dress (usually a more expensive one too) nice jewelry, hair, makeup, fresh French nails, nice shoes, nice petite purse... I even bought a classier looking phone case at one point to look more grown up instead of my fun one... smh. One 🤡 negged "what's with the outfit, why are you dressed up like this! It is just a bar. Chill, girl." Mind you the dress was so pretty. It had finally gone on sale from over $100 down to like $50. I wanted it for months. I had drove into the store that had it in stock just to get it in time for the date. I had to have a cashier manually adjust it to match the online price (as it rang up more in store) and thankfully she did. I had straightened my hair TWICE because it was rainy and frizzed up. I did SO MUCH to present myself well for the date and getting that backlash was so hurtful. The audacity for him to neg when be was wearing joggers and a tee shirt. I also didn't realize it was a dumpy bar. He had made it sound like a restaurant that was decent. And I was a huge pickme.


idestroythingsfora-

I really like dressing up (and kinda have a tendency to overdress tbh), but I'd legit lose it if a guy told me that. He really tried to neg you for dressing up on a date? What a cheap embarrassment to mankind, the hell?!


tigergeisha

Oh my god that's horrible! Instead of recognising and appreciating your effort and being completely wowed he had to put you down to make himself feel better. That sucks and he sucks!


[deleted]

I would’ve walked out on him the second he said that. Low effort people will always try to drag you down to their level.


Aksentia_Ivanovitcha

Thats so lame :( what an asshole.


missyb

Okay so when I eventually realised that the reason my ex smelled strange was because he didn't wear deodorant, he actually argued with me that people didn't really smell so it wasn't an issue. 'I work in an office and I never smell other people' and was aghast when I pointed out that every single woman in that office would be WEARING DEODORANT!


popularsongs

there’s a less extreme version of these hyper-slob types too (god, the horror stories in these comments…!)—men who have that cheese-like smell. it’s not an un-showered smell exactly, but like “i stood under the water for 1.5 minutes and also don’t know how to use soap.” can’t stand being near them, even if it’s just a few moments in an elevator or something


Eris_the_Fair

For real, how can they all shower in 3 minutes? It takes me almost 10 times that long.


ContentRate

They argue with you about it too. I had one guy (before I had FDS) I went on a date with who had terrible breath (also indicates bad internal health along with poor hygeine) I told him the first date, reluctantly. When he had it the second date, I pointed it out again and he accused me of lying....WHY.. WHYY would I lie? Also had another scrote with bad breath tell me that flossing was invented by dentists to make money ☠️⚰️


bluecheek

Lol! Dentists would make more money from people NOT caring for their teeth. What a moron.


ThatOneCuteNerdyGirl

Lmao whether they did or didn’t “invent” it to make money, the amount of stuff that comes unstuck from between my teeth every day when I floss just keeps me doing it. I feel disgusting if I don’t floss every night. I know some of you ladies need to hear it, floss those pearly whites at least once a day!!!


saraswati_beans

I’m a terrible flosser. Idk if it’s some kind of sensory thing or a fine motor deficit, but I’ve always hated it. BUT I invested in a Waterpik this year and it’s been a game changer. I use it every night and then I can get away with flossing once every week or two.


Latter_Ostrich2875

But floss costs like £1?


ennu_i_sao

To truly know a man, look at how he maintains his bathroom, especially if nobody else like a mom or paid housekeeper does it for them. One man in my family leaves fast food wrappers, incense, bongs, and… excrements mess everywhere in his bathroom. If he believed in doctors or therapy, I would take him to one since I never before knew that Freud could be taken so literally.


scrappymap

I had a man tell me I needed to keep my hygiene items cleared off the bathroom counter because he didn’t like the mess. (They we’re all stored in a single little basket on the counter.) Meanwhile he literally had never properly cleaned the bathroom in years. Crust all over the toilet bowl and shower, trash bin overflowing, etc.


DecadentOrange

I was dating a guy who thought dental hygiene was optional. One day it just hit me right in the face and I straight up asked him wtf was wrong with him. He answered, and I kid you not, that he wouldn't brush his teeth daily, and would only brush if he was meeting someone important. I believe they think it's OK to be so unhygeniec because a lot of women are afraid to be honest and won't call them out on their literal shitty behavior.


bleda_princezna

Wtf! Just nonchalantly admitting you're not even important to him. They really do tell on themselves. What an asshole.


mashibeans

This is insanely dangerous thought, dental hygiene is vital, the wrong ailment in the mouth can lead to horrible, life long consequences of pain and a shittier existence. He's gonna pay for that dearly when he becomes an old man. And if he treats the rest of his body the same way as his teeth, he's gonna age waaaay faster than the average person.


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Maude2010

So expensive. I went through a period of not taking good care of my teeth because I was very depressed. It cost so much to get them back into shape. I still have trouble sometimes, but the expense factor keeps me from letting them get too bad again.


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Davina33

My mother would occasionally use that smokers tooth powder. It was pink and called Eucryl I think. Anyway she drank, smoked, did loads of drugs and never once visited a dentist. By 40, the teeth were moving in her mouth and by 50, she needed full dentures. I do not want to be like that. As she was on benefits, she was entitled to NHS free dental treatment. It's so sad.


PeanutButterPigeon85

>By 40, the teeth were moving in her mouth I'm almost afraid to ask, but...what does "moving in her mouth" mean?


Davina33

When she used to speak, a couple of her front teeth used to move. My mother was in a lot of pain, I don't know how she managed to avoid the dentist. I'm 36, my wisdom teeth are still coming through and the pain sends me running to them.


PeanutButterPigeon85

Wow, that sounds horrific! Hope she's doing better now.


Davina33

We are no contact, she is an abuser. Last time I heard she was doing well with her dentures. She ended up in hospital with heart failure and I've heard she smokes less now but still takes drugs. When I think about her, I just feel sad. She hates herself and it spills out onto those around her.


PeanutButterPigeon85

Sorry to hear that! It sounds like you were right to go no-contact. You can't help someone who won't help themselves.


Davina33

Thank you. I appreciate you having sympathy for her. She is a broken woman but I must protect myself.


PeanutButterPigeon85

Of course! A lot of people don't understand the idea of going no-contact with a parent, but sometimes you don't have a choice.


saraswati_beans

Periodontal disease 😨


Davina33

Yes, exactly this. My mother was a heavy smoker and I think that was the biggest cause. Toothpaste, floss and mouthwash wasn't high on her list of priorities either. It's so sad to me because this was a time when free NHS dental care was readily available. I don't know whether she had a phobia about dentists or not.


PeanutButterPigeon85

Sorry to hear that! I know it's not uncommon.


Reporter_Complex

>dental hygiene is vital I am 28 and learning this now. I was in an extremely violent relationship that lasted 5 years, and teeth were on the bottom of my to do list, saving my own life daily was at the top, and usually a full time responsibility. I've just got braces to fix my busted ass teeth from him, and my teeth are ruined. Demineralisation, gum issues, I had 2 molars dug out and reconstructed. Teeth, look after your teeth.


RecordingImportant94

I didn’t go to the dentist in over half a decade while I was in an abusive relationship. He spent all our money on himself, so I could never afford even basic checkups, plus I was so ashamed of how I’d let myself go and had no pride in my oral health. When I broke free and finally saw a dentist it wasn’t great news, although I’d miraculously avoided cavities, I had been grinding my teeth through stress for years and now need a fair amount of expensive work done to address the damage. It feels so good to be able to take care of myself now though, I’ll never go back to a situation like that again.


Reporter_Complex

I feel you, girl. 100% I know that struggle. And the embarrassment. I'm just coming up to 5 years out and I still get pangs of embarrassment over things I did for/with him. Especially the embarrassment that I get from allowing myself to get that far... I will forever feel like a fking clown. But hey, lessons learned and stuff. Dentist is the most recent, I still put it off going for 3 years after I left! I thought "maybe if I clean with sensitive teeth toothpaste I can make it go away" - I went to the dentist screaming in pain, lmao. I will never again allow myself to be embarrassed by any man. As soon as something comes up where I have to explain his actions for him? Good byeeee!


honeyhealing

Don’t be embarrassed - you survived. You did what you could at that time, and you are the person you are today because of it. You’re so strong and things only get better from here on


Betty_Bottle

I had a work colleague give me a lift to work one morning. We were first there so we were just sitting in his car talking. I said something and he laughed but as he exhaled that laugh I was hit by a smell that I can only describe as the stuff that comes out after you floss. I didn't have the heart to say anything and just sat there holding my breath 🤢


Reporter_Complex

>the stuff that comes out after you floss. I have braces, I clean my teeth each time I eat a meal, and boy, I yak at myself flossing the brackets 😂 ewwwww


Davina33

I hope he remembers that when he sits in pain and needs root canal treatment/extraction. If he is a smoker too, it will be a lot worse. What is wrong with these men?


penhasink

That’s very medieval of him 🤮


Aksentia_Ivanovitcha

I think i hate more the guys that like it when you call them out. Like, "oh, smart woman im a dumb man please show me how to clean". No. Learn it in by yourself.


oh_shit_oh_fuck

"I can't wash my ass, that's gay"


no_tak

Ah yes my favorite. Casual homophobia to excuse their inability to take care of themselves.


howyoudoin___

There was a subreddit thread for advice from one man to another and the top three most upvoted comments were about basic hygiene 💀 Imagine needing to get advice with over 30,000 people voting just telling you to wash your ass and brush your teeth


MadameDestruction

I'm disappointed, but not surprised.


Explicit_Violet

It’s because most domestic habits like housekeeping, creativity, etiquette, hygiene, etc are seen as feminine. These scrotes love living like animals since being a civil human is too much for their egos.


[deleted]

Even animals care about their basic hygiene.


_RustInPiece_

Bad hygiene is one of the fastest dealbreakers if not already a red flag.


thanarealnobody

I’ve gotten so used to guys showing up smelling of weed and wearing slouchy loungewear that they haven’t changed out of in days that one time I was genuinely speechless when a guy had ironed a fresh shirt and washed his hair. It floored me. It was the most basic effort but it was more than I had ever seen. His shirt also has a nice scent of fabric softener. It actually made me feel like he cared about his life.


driftinglochawe

There's also the time aspect of it - most guys will probably need less than 10 minutes to shower and achieve a good level of hygiene. For me and probably most women it's more like 20 minutes and I shampoo twice, condition, exfoliate, facial wash, shower gel, shave, then once I'm out I'm onto body lotion, deodorant, and facial skincare. Then it's another 45 minutes to dry and style my hair but I do it because I respect and want to look after myself. I have no interest in being a one woman bio-hazard.


londochig

Omg this is so relatable. I've been on dates with men who have horrible breath. One guy was super cute in his photos and in real life. Like hella cute. Then I got closer and his breath could have knocked me out. I too was leaning back in my chair. I could see some yellow soft plaque on his teeth like he hadn't brushed in a couple of days. The worst part was he tried to kiss me 😭🤣🪦☠️⚰️I dodged . For the rest of the day after that date I had the smell of his breath lingering in my nose. Even after I showered and brushed my teeth.


blerty567

Their obliviousness is insane. Imagine not brushing your teeth and then going on a date. 🤢 they’re so used to watching porn ladies while they’re unbrushed & unshowered that they don’t even stop to think that real-life women will actually react ...


dahliaukifune

I used to smoke and before a date I would make sure to brush my teeth very well and use mouth wash and get some chewing gum too just in case… And they don’t even shower. It’s insane.


whiskey_and_oreos

I think I went on a date with that guy! He was cute in his photos and I agreed to a coffee date (pre-FDS). I could see from across the table that his teeth were FUZZY and yellow. I finished my coffee (that I paid for!) as fast as possible and ran to my car before he could try to kiss me. 🤢 The worst was he talked about himself the whole time so it was just wave after wave of mouth funk.


londochig

😂😂😂 I feel your pain sis. These male specimen and their lack of hygiene give us some serious dating PTSD. It really does make dating a nightmarish experience.


whiskey_and_oreos

Nothing prepared us for the olfactory assault. I'm a millennial and the cloud of Axe body spray that was high school can't hold a candle to what we're up against now. At least back then they were trying to mask the funk!


Davina33

In the U.K. it was Lynx body spray. The most common one was Lynx Africa. The nostalgia is back. They seemed so much cleaner then.


Betty_Bottle

I now associate Lynx Africa with teenage boys


cakewalkofshame

I'm losing it at FUZZY teeth!


Luire-Cendrillon

My mom used to say “Brush your teeth, or they’ll get sweaters!”


cakewalkofshame

OT but that's why I can't eat spinach, the feeling it leaves on my teeth is legit like sweaters.


Revy_Ur_Engines

Ew how the hell do you have FUZZY teeth?! And why do I know exactly what you mean by waves of mouth funk 😂Some guy in my math class years ago had funky breath everyday and only knew how to breathe out his mouth. This one time he ate yogurt for breakfast and I thought I was gonna die 😭😭😭🤮


whiskey_and_oreos

My best guess is he hadn't brushed in months. Like you know how your teeth and mouth feel can cottony first thing in the morning if you slept with your mouth open? It *looked* like like how that feels. > This one time he ate yogurt for breakfast and I thought I was gonna die 😳🤢🤢🤢


Aksentia_Ivanovitcha

I am sad that i read the word fuzzy teeth. Just wanted to say. Ugh. Ew.


daisies4dayz

Dudes will spend hours at the gym every week because they are convinced women all are going to swoon and drop panties over their “gainz”. Meanwhile won’t spend a couple minutes each day brushing and flossing their teeth 🙄


[deleted]

I met up with a guy for a second date, he works in a coffee shop and turns up smelling like sour milk super off putting, like he couldn’t of showered after work??


staywickedlost

I vividly remember a date I had with a seemingly sweet guy who took me out for lunch on a Saturday and ate a cheese and red sauce dish with Italian seasoning. Five days later, we meet again for drinks, and as he smiles, his teeth are caked in yellow and orange plaque and has a piece of seasoning stuck to it. He tried to go in for a kiss, and I declined. Never saw him again.


Davina33

I read somewhere that the bacteria that cause gum disease can be passed on during kissing. Terrible, isn't it?


asupernova91

I minor in microbiology and plaque is a biofilm. Basically hundreds of thousands of bacteria that communicate with each other in order to produce that slimy film 🤢 a dot the size of a pinhead has approximately a billion bacteria.


Davina33

Oh my gosh! That's so many bacteria, shocking 🤢


Boondersnoontch

Yep. In my pick-me days I was on a second date and he was coming straight from the lab. Wearing the exact same outfit he was wearing on our first date. (9 days prior) And the soy stain he got on his pants on the first date. was. still. on. his. thigh. messy hair, messier beard. when he hugged me I got a whiff of B.O. And I rationalized that I was special since he wanted to see me so bed he came straight to the date without changing 🙄


Revy_Ur_Engines

I was in bed with a guy and got a whiff of onions. And then he farted next to me. Another guy did that to me. The smell nearly peeled the paint off the wall. He would shower every other day. 🤢 A lot of men are nasty and should be considered a bio hazard ☣️


ContentRate

> should be considered a bio hazard ☣️ 😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣


cakewalkofshame

Not the paint off the wall! I'm dying at that visual.


Maingurl

>got a whiff of onions Men out here farting like friggen Shrek!😂🤢


Revy_Ur_Engines

Gurl it wasn’t even the fart, it was his stinky armpits! You would think guys would know how to use deodorant!


Davina33

They smell so much stronger than us as well. They should be washing more 🤢. Imagine smelling up the sheets like that.


Aksentia_Ivanovitcha

Its because they have lots of armpit hair 😑 men should shave their armpits.


nymphaetamine

Oh god, flashbacks. 10 years ago I'd been dating a guy for about a month, and was spending the night one weekend. First off he went to bed without brushing his teeth, then proceeded to snore so loud I had to abandon all hope of sleep and could actually hear the knickknacks on the shelf rattling. Like Jesus dude, schedule a sleep study before you fuckin' DIE. Then he rolled over and let out the most vile fart I have ever witnessed even to this day. The sound was like an elephant trumpeting, and the smell was some kind of eldritch horror I don't even have the vocabulary to adequately describe. I don't mind a toot here and there and I even laugh at them sometimes, but sharing a bed with this guy was like laying next to a literal farm animal. It lasted at least 10 seconds. It was heavy, oily, and didn't dissipate after a minute or two like a normal fart. I became concerned that he'd actually shit himself and had to check under the covers, which released even more of the fetid miasma. I have had many pets and have cleaned up my share of stinky poos, hell, I grew up on farms and am no stranger whatsoever to bad smells. But this dude's gas was too inhumanly rancid even for me. I faked an emergency call and used that as an excuse to rush out the door at 2am, then never talked to that guy again.


FlockAroundtheClock

"elephant trumpeting" OMG I'm dying. I have tears rolling down my cheeks. I can not. So glad you left. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🐘


softensonic

Why don't they realize men need to shower every day, maybe even twice?


Latter_Ostrich2875

I don’t understand why they feel the need to do that. The amount of guys I’ve met who just fart in front of people with no reaction. Its childish when they think it’s funny but what I cannot stand is when they don’t say sorry or anything and just continue with what they were doing like an animal. One of my relatives used to fart literally every 5 minutes anywhere we went, it was worse in the car. I ended up telling him off and he went “ok sorry” so then he would fart but just open the window making me cold like maybe you could just stop doing it? It makes me so angry


Platipus6

Constant porn use leads to demotivation, depression and inability to calculate risks. They dumb and nasty and don't care.


MyLifeIsWandsXIII

Porn has all these obvious bad side effects that it baffles me how anyone can sit infront of a screen and watch that shit knowing all of this negative side effects. But men apparently really don't care that their brains are slowly rotting as long as they can get some of that instant gratification. It really is just so astounding to me how someone can waste their time (and brain cells) away watching this crap instead of actually working on self improvement.


queenofswordsxxx

I cry over the amount of expensive perfume I wore to impress LVM that wouldn’t even show up with their shirts ironed…


asupernova91

This. My $90 Chanel perfume went to waste SO.many.times during my pickme days.


MadameDestruction

I know of a few men who have admitted they've never even picked up an iron and don't iron at all...


Latter_Ostrich2875

bUt I dOnT kNoW hOw CaN yOu dO iT fOr mE? /s


queenofswordsxxx

Darn it, these low effort scrotes don’t deserve any success in life if that’s the attitude they have


radical__daphne

I would turn around and walk away. The level of disrespect necessary to show up to a date like that is off the charts. I'm not going to sit there and let him degrade me with his stank breath.


no_tak

I can't second this enough. I have depression and know quite a few people who do too. All of us have our days of not showering because it seems too exhausting. But all of us agree that when you meet other people you have to call out your depression on its bs of "you don't have enough energy for a shower" and just go for it. The "worst" I've ever experienced with these people is them showing up in sweatpants and immediately going "Guys, I'm not doing well, I didn't shower today, I'm so so sorry for my BO." And that's from people who actually have a chronic illness that constantly drains their battery. So yeah, just showing up dirty and smelly isn't even just laziness anymore, it's blatant disrespect.


Latter_Ostrich2875

Exactly, I have mental health problems and chronic pain but I’d at least try to shower or brush my teeth, if I was too exhausted I wouldn’t even be meeting a date in the first place.


blerty567

I wish I was brave enough to do that.


Aksentia_Ivanovitcha

How can you even eat or drink when you smell bad breath from the person sitting in front of you? Some unnecessary endurance skill we can all happily unlearn as fast as possible.


sheinina

Sorry this when dating this is just a deal breaker.


Interesting-Bat3992

Tbh, from a country that uses bidet showers, I was really confused when my father ,who got to work with an international organisation, said that the men there really stank in contrast to what we are led to believe about "the first world countries" smelling fresh and having showers even up to three times a day. I still thought it wasn't so bad, because people here (and I mean including mostly men) mostly smell due to sweat, and sometimes bad breath. I only got to know through FDS that there are men who smell like shit and don't have basic hygiene, which is absolutely disgusting.


capricious_robot

Ugh. I went on a "date" with a guy from my building. He showed up 1. Late 2. Sweating and dripping like a he just crawed out a swamp 3. In sweat shorts and sloppy t shirt. 4. With zero communication, we sat in silence nearly the whole time and he would give brief, unengaing responses to my questions. The worst. He then has the audacity to text me a couple days later saying "you're no fun". The fuck? Bitch, I'm a hoot! These men are a damn waste of time and energy 🙄


cakewalkofshame

Don't forget about dirty nails! Fucking blue-black crescents of filth under their nails and they have the audacity to want to shove their fingers in us. I legit do not understand this. Their parents have failed them. I have been working from home the last year and a half and I will go days without seeing someone else, but I shower, wash my hair, wear deodorant every day no matter what. If I don't, I feel gross. It's not about impressing others, it's about having some self respect and not being disgusting.


bleda_princezna

Exactly, how does this keep happening? Even being stuck at home I always shower and put deodorant on, wear clean clothes... Can't imagine going without a shower for 2-3 and then going to see someone. That would not only be gross and uncomfortable, but embarrassing af.


Davina33

Same. Even when I was very ill with Covid-19 last year, I dragged my arse in the shower daily. I even lost my sense of smell, which still isn't back 100%. That only made me paranoid and even more careful about hygiene.


numbers213

I've been getting more obsessed with teeth cleanliness recently... How do these men let their teeth get so bad? I was watching tv and these guys were missing teeth FRONT TEETH or had rotten teeth that needed to be pulled. I suppose missing a tooth is whatever maybe but overtime not having a tooth in that place can really mess up your health.


Grnvtch

Grey or black streaks on teeth are usually from a dead nerve from trauma I think. No way to fix the tooth after that other than to replace it.


Emergency-Feed8216

Some natural toothpaste brands clean but don't whiten. My kids are allergic to a lot of chemical ingredients in commercial products so it took a while to find a natural brand that whitened too (charcoal based). But I doubt toothpaste allergies are the cause of so many men's stained teeth.


woadsky

Would you be willing to say what natural brand cleans and whitens? Thanks!


Emergency-Feed8216

Cali White Activated Charcoal & Organic Coconut Oil toothpaste. ✌


saddiesadsad

There's a thing going on where women are constantly taken care of their teeth, the color, if they are straight, even the gum's growth! I'm very sad to say that when I see couples the woman has clearly invest in her smile and the partner not so much. Why is there something getting women to pay a lot a do constant care and why is not onto men as well??


numbers213

I got lucky with nearly perfectly straight teeth so all I've done is brush my teeth, but like just SIMPLY BRUSHING would help remove stains... the bare minimum isn't even that hard.


saddiesadsad

I know right, for a long time I couldn't get braces so I made sure my teeth were at least clean and healthy, for myself and honestly for anyone that had the pleasure to talk to me


Davina33

Same. I should have had braces as a child but I didn't. I was always ashamed of my crooked teeth. It's cost me dearly to put this right.


Davina33

Same. I have an autoimmune disease that means I have dry eyes, dry nose and a dry mouth. I have high calcium as well so I have to be on top of my game. Green tea, chewing gum, cutting down on sugar etc. I had neglectful parents who never once took me to the dentist (free NHS dental care in the 90s, there was a dentist down our street). So I've had to pay the price as an adult. The worst are men who go to bed with a furry mouth? I don't get that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


numbers213

That sounds like a wild time


mandoa_sky

that being said, you ladies have any advice re coffee breath? I'm something of an addict


Emergency-Feed8216

I'm a coffee fanatic, even wear mocha perfume. If you drink coffee black, a swig of selzer will wash it away. The real problem is milk in coffee or, God forbid, sugar. While milk neutralizes tannins in coffee and tea and prevents staining, the natural sugar in milk messes up oral flora, can rot teeth and cause bad breath. If you can't get used to coconut milk powder in coffee, at least opt for heavy cream (not half and half) which also has 0 carbs.


Luire-Cendrillon

I just brush after every coffee. It low key helped me cut back on the caffeine, because I’d have to wait for the recently brushed taste to go away before having another. When I’m going to be somewhere there are no facilities, I keep those little disposable toothbrushes and breath strips with me at all times. My grandmother taught me that it is offensive, like a *serious insult*, to the people you speak to if your breath isn’t fresh.


literal_salamander

Straight up espresso/black coffee breath isn't horrible, it's when you add milk/sugar is when your breath gets funky I found.


Feminineprincess

I’m a nurse’s assistant, so my job requires that I clean patients. I had these overweight male patient and whenever I have a patient who is able to eat their food and use their phone, I give them the supplies for them to clean their genitalia. I gave this fat guy the washcloth to clean “down there”. Mind you, he was uncircumcised, so he barely cleaned his penis, just wiped it twice and didn’t pull the skin back. I told him “You should clean under your foreskin”, his response: What’s foreskin? I said absolutely nothing out of complete disgust. He finally realized what I was talking about and then he went “Oh, that”, then hardly pulled it back, and just smeared the “cheese” all over his penis. Mind you this guy was in his 50’s.


EmergencyShit

This is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever read.


Anonsubordinate

I don't understand it, either. Once, many moons ago, I went on a date with a guy who proudly shared that he never brushes his teeth and has never had a cavity. Ugh....good for you?


denimlace

I went on two dates with a man who FARTED in my face twice. The first date was patio dining so I thought we got crop dusted and let it go. Wtf do you say about something like that?? God the smell was so awful. The second time it happened, I KNEW it couldnt have been a coincidence. I couldnt eat anymore and made an excuse and left.


TrixieFriganza

Wtf is this real? Damn he's confident or totally oblivious


[deleted]

Ok had to stop scrolling through this thread cuz my germaphobia was getting so badly triggered 😅


restlessGal

Hygiene is a hundred and one times more important than looks. I don’t give a fuck about your useless abs and biceps if you reek of pubes sweat and I can see the plaque on your teeth. A guy with nice clothes, a watch or another accessory, good cologne and smelling fresh and clean is so goddamn hot regardless of how he looks


Maude2010

Sigh. I know. I know a dude who is educated, handsome, well-dressed, even has a relatively clean home. He doesn’t wipe his ass and hasn’t had his teeth cleaned in years. It’s nasty.


all_or_nothing_bet

Don't agree on a date with a guy who looks unkempt or not up to your standards on his photos or irl when he invites you on a date. If he can't maintain himself on a day-to-day basis he won't change just for you.


Impossible_Mud_7599

Honestly. The last guy I dated seemed to never brush his teeth. I have impeccable dental hygiene so it was quickly over. I remember covering my mouth and nose one time when we were cuddling. Awful. 🤮


NoSurprise7196

People need to floss.


frustratedmarxistfem

Dear God half these men show up looking like they just rolled out of bed. I can't stand it. I'm always dressed nice, it takes a long time to get my hair right, makeup, skin, nails, shoes, etc. to stand next to a guy in sweatpants and a beanie


CloacaDiddler

Guys don’t realize how little effort they could put in to shoot up to the top 10%. It’s actually amazing how much energy they’d rather sink into whining about not being chosen when they could literally just wash their ass once a month and get a haircut and it would make them more eligible than anyone else in the room. Sad.


reddit_is_real_bad

I know exactly what you’re talking about! My last boyfriend was always really clean and smelled great, but the previous four or five guys I dated were just gross. They didn’t know how to wipe properly, I swear! I get why I stuck around, they were fun and pretty hot, but I don’t think I could go back to some nasty guy like that.


DuchessDurag

This is common in Australia. Despite having access to mouth wash, deodorants and body wash men in my town (not all) are lazy. Some Of the local women complain about men approaching them with smelly shoes and stink breaths in bars and clubs 🤣🤢. One pub in my town even advertised in the newspapers that they would not accept unhygienic blue collar workers who don’t shower before they step in the club, this was after other patrons were complaining the strong smell from those men.


Latter_Ostrich2875

It’s weird, in nature male animals will be the pretty ones who dance and do displays to impress female animals so why are men so fucking awful?


spoonxxm

I know that asian guys are like any other guys but all the asian guys I dated were at least always dressed well and hygienic, some even used more skin care than I did lol Even if they were shitty, I never felt embarrassed by being seen with them, compared to any other guy I dated. What is it with most western guys being ugly and unhygienic?


blerty567

Idk but the guy that inspired this post was Asian 😬


emziewemziee

i went on a date yesterday and he spat on the floor😭😭 i made my excuses and left early cannot be dealing with disgusting men