T O P

Why are we taught to focus on MEN??

Why are we taught to focus on MEN??

w0rmsongs

Here's a portion of my "husband material" list: • Doting • Compassionate • Giver of time, energy, service and gifts. • Cooks • Cleans • Prioritizes ME • Handy • Financially secure and successful • Shared values (porn, etc.)


dahliaukifune

Very good! I would add: Vetting their emotional intelligence, AND if they have it, whether they are trying to trick you into believing they don’t.


TafahaDeTerre

Agree to all. I would add **hot as fuck**.


Connect_Chipmunk_691

I definitely want to feel like that about my sweetie pie in addition to the amazing heart and character! I want someone I'm safe to love and be loved by in return! 🥰🤗🙏💕💕💕


icepoeta

Yes emotional IQ is the top item in my list.


w0rmsongs

Thankfully it doesn't take much to vet emotional intelligence. If you don't have it, it's glaringly obvious.


dimsummer-

So many dating subs targeted toward women will say 'focus on yourself so when you meet the one, you're attractive to them' This is the only sub I've found that says 'focus on yourself so you know if they are attractive to you'


ItsFreezen

Scrotes want a Trad Wife but can't fix or build a damn thing.


OptionalCookie

Or make enough money to support a trad wife lifestyle. If I make more than you, and I work longer hours, and you aren't doing anything or you got a straight 8... I want dinner when I get home, and not some fast food shit either. I want the fridge stocked, and the place clean. If I work 12 hours for this cheddar, that's what I want to see. Having a penis does not prevent you from turning a stove knob and determining how fire works.


DrildoBagurren

Manipulative people will always have you running round trying to prove yourself so you never have time to question whether they're even worth it. You'll always be on the backfoot feeling insecure while they get to sit comfy on their pedestal nitpicking and criticising and never having to hold themselves accountable. This is just what society is doing to women en masse. Men get to wallow in their Cheeto dust, "dad bods" and porn addictions while beautiful women scramble over eachother in a desperate bid to perform perfect femininity. It's so dumb.


hhhdies

CMe here to say this. THIS is how they know you are easy to manipulate. Also, women who keep for men’s attention? Well the one who gets the man is the one they know will humiliate themselves for scraps. I swear to god these motherfuckers pass this shit down. Trust me. They KNOW this.


AmazonArtemis

Can't turn a scrote into a spouse


MadamePotpourri

A lot of the dating advice directed towards women centers on improving yourself for the benefit of men. As if the reason all single women are single is because there is something wrong with them. It's rare that dating advice tells women to really sit back and think about what we want, and to constantly be using that as a template to vet men. FDS was the first place I have ever heard the idea of "never stop vetting". Why is that? It seems so obvious but I've only heard it here. I think it's because it directs women to focus on OURSELVES, instead of men.


greenbagmaria

You’re not a wife until you’re married. What kind of a pickme audition is this.


PasDeTout

There are so many articles in women’s magazines about ‘how to please your man’ or ‘how to attract your man’ whereas men get PUA sites that say ‘how to manipulate women into having sex with you by being emotionally abusive’.


__kamikaze__

^ this right here. It’s infuriating.


warinmymind94

"Wifey" in any sense was something pickmes were notorious for saying in my hometown. They would do pickme things and call it as being "wifey material" Don't give wife benefits until you've vetted and you're married. Even then pace yourself with what you give a little at a time so he doesn't take advantage


JesusisKingisLord

I'll never forget watching a TED Talk years ago where the presenter said her female clients were always worried about whether men liked them, and she wanted them to ask if they even liked him. I remember this absolutely BLOWING my mind. 🤯


Connect_Chipmunk_691

Can I like a million times infinity?! This is the truth! And they'll think you're entitled and demanding wanting them to be good husband material!


missdanielleyy

ABV = Always Be Vetting 😎


veniphyl

We don't even need or want them.


Novemberinthechair

Patriarchy.


Gasperca

Preach!! So happy that queen Cici made it to our page, she is such an FDS Queen and is preaching self love and improvement. Yass!


Hmtnsw

He just needs to have a good job, not smell, be a Christian man and make sure you don't have to work so you can stay home and take care of the kids comfortably. That's what I was taught how a man should be. You need to be educated, but only as a back up just incase your marriage goes to shit. *sigh*


w0rmsongs

Financial independance is critical to success. If you need to leave, you need money in the bank.


Eva4ever28

100%. Women need to have financial independence no matter what. Women, ALWAYS have enough money saved in a SECRET place so if you ever need to leave a relationship, you can. Even if you think you are with a good man, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. My ex-husband became violently bipolar (was not at the start of our 10-year relationship) and it was SO HARD TO LEAVE. Fortunately, we had completely separate bank accounts. Always have your own bank account and don't let him know what is in it. In fact, never tell a man how much money you make or how much money you have. EVER.


w0rmsongs

👆 Thank god even in my pickme days I never divulged finance info and always kept separate accounts. I even had boyfriends sign cohabitation agreements. Some smarts amidst the stupidity..


Prinnykin

Yes! My dad always told me growing up to make sure I NEVER have to rely on a man. He told me to have a secret bank account and my own source of income. Because if things get bad, I can leave.


MissGalaxy1986

That’s why when I marry I’m signing a prenuptial that says for every year I don’t work to take care of the children I get X amount and then X amount towards a new degree. It’s gonna be expensive as ever to divorce me but I frankly don’t feel the laws, even when favoring the woman, recognize the extreme sacrifice we make for children. With so many women having kids in their 30s right in the PEAK of their careers (rather not peak earning but peak in the sense where it’s the most critical time to getting to those peak earning years) I am sacrificing so much more than just current earning but future earning potential. Then there’s the fact that women with children by default make less money. Hopefully I never divorce but as someone who loves my job amd would love to delay having children for another 10 years if it were possible to focus on my career I am giving up so much to have my own children for my and my future husband.


w0rmsongs

Yeah, the sacrifices are precisely why I had my tubes removed. That and the fact that I would hate to fall pregnant with some guy's kid who I may end up leaving later. No thanks.


Hmtnsw

Absolutely


dahliaukifune

And as a trophy. It inflates their ego even more if you’re an Ivy League PhD who left her career to be his housewife. Let’s not forget that all they care about is what their moms and other men think of them.


Cultural_Training249

I won't even acknowledge people who use the term, "wifey". WTF is that other than some allegedly sounding cute term to make you feel like something that you are not. Which is a wife. Wifey is the language of losers.