As a guy it is okay to make noises.
You don't need to be a silent psycho like you were every time you jerked off when you were a teenager living with your parents...
Yes, please make noises!
For the love of GOD please make noises.
I feel like a goofy idiot making noises. I do it because I know women like it, but I feel like it's such a performance. The grunts and gasps and whatever else, it doesn't feel natural. I don't really know what to do *naturally*, you know? Any tips for how to let yourself fall into it and make the noises you were meant to make? What is a turn on for women?
It's going to feel awkward for a little while, you need to train youself back into making noise, so it won't be natural at first. And trying to fake it too much can sound really disingenuous, and put youself in your head too much to enjoy what's going on. But a few low "mmm"s of appreciation when you're really enjoying yourself go a long way to reassuring your partner that you're having a good time. The brothel training scene in GoT is a great example.
The mmms are kind of my safe zone right now hahaha, but it feels like I could be doing more for sure. I have usually taken the role of teacher rather than being taught, so I think that's part of it. Need someone to help guide me, but not always easy to find the right person for that!
Just unleash your inner caveman.
I'm going to genuinely give this a go and get back to you about the reception it gets. If it's that easy I'll almost be upset.
Growl, gasp moan, heavy breathing, the occasional ah, mm, ngghh, or giggle. Don't think about it dude, like be in the moment and just allow your body to take in whatever you feel. Your body will naturally wanna make some sound and night, stifling it is something that seems tense, so just relax into it.
It’s amazing how conditioned us dudes all got to jerking in complete silence. My wife mentioned it to me years ago and I didn’t even notice I was doing it.
It’s not because of having to masturbate silently cause girls had to do that growing up too. Like, that’s a universal thing, not just something boys experience, so it must be a social conditioning reason why men tend to feel pressure to be quieter, not out of habit.
I assumed men don't make sounds because nobody encourages them to...ie porn and cultural stoicism...cuz girls jerked off silently too back in the day and dont seem seem have an issue but they're very encouraged to be loud in all media.
Maybe I need some coaching. Apparently making noises like Twiki from the Buck Rogers TV series wasn't a good choice.
That was a breakthrough for me too, I actually feel more into it when I make noises, because the girl's reaction is very hot too. We end up moaning together, it's awesome.
Foreplay. I was taught sex is just stick it in and done. Pleasing my partner with foreplay opened up so many things
Opened up WHAT??
so many things
We need a book on that.
I’ll fund that book
Having confidence and letting myself have fun 😊
Confidence seems to be key for making everything in life better.
Learning how to speak up for what I need
And what do you need doobert?
Lol😂 Well, using a vibrator during/after sex, certain types of foreplay, more passion/intensity, switching positions, etc.
I used to be too nervous to speak up for myself, but that only resulted in less enjoyable sex.
What do YOU need, OP?
Well you know ahm... the need to see myself in the other person and see the other person in me reflected back, both isolated from the world while experiencing being human beings in their most instinct and animalistic form as if it was the most important thing in the world and nothing more mattered, what it mattered was just two creatures experiencing a feeling that is deeper than anger itself... ahm...you know the usual that's what the OP need
You should try psychedelics, if you haven’t already lol
Will i wake up with my penis stuck on a toaster or some shit like that?
Only if you're lucky.
A toaster that fulfills all the above. Some people can only dream of toasters like that
Public sex at night out in nature.
We feel so free.
The free part sounds awesome, but sex in the wild is so uncomfortable sometimes
yeah....those deers really cling on afterwards
Using toys during sex
*Rides tech deck across titties*
To a No Cumply
Username checks out
I feel weird going alone to a kids store
That. I love playing with my Lego X-Wing while getting railed
Plays COD while doing anal
Call of booty
Me kamasutraing my Barbie and Ken to pretend we’re having a foursome.
Don't buy cheap condoms. Buy something that will give you more ~~sensibility~~ sensitivity.
ETA: English isn't my native language.
Concur. My wife and I have to use condoms all the time right now, and high-quality condoms are so much better than ones you can pick up off the shelf at the drug store.
My eyes have been opened!
Wait where do you buy those kinds of condoms??
I buy them online! CondomDepot.com is my go-to site. They’re super cheap to be such high quality. I have never had any issues with that site, either. Shipping is always very fast.
What brands are considered cheap vs ones that will give more sensibility?
I like Skyn
For us, Crown Skinless Skin and Okamoto .004s have been the best. Not too expensive either.
One brand condoms including my one perfect fit.
I don't live in the US, so I don't know how I can help you. And I just read the packaging, I don't have a favorite brand.
I think you mean sensitivity…
Thanks. English isn't my native language.
The mistake a lot of guys make is buying super thin brands that fit too tight. They can actually decrease sensation. I found that loose fitting condoms were much more sensation enhancing, especially with a dab of lube inside at the tip.
I recently bought 100 condoms for like 18 bucks thinking "I'd never need to buy condoms for a long while but then I realize they don't fit as well or are good as the previous brand that came in 3 different types and fit me well.
100 condoms ? That sir is optimistic
the right size is kind of important too
Believe it or not … squats & power cleans … u work out your prostate.. get ripped & last longer in bed / stronger erections
Dumbass here. What’s a power clean?
It’s a weightlifting movement
Oh that makes more sense lol. Glad my stupidity gave everyone a giggle at least.
Not only yours, I was curious too 😂
[Lifting weights or sex?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04HC1lcn8TM)
But you do shit your pants.
Lmao no it’s a type of [exercise ](https://youtu.be/KjGvwQl8tis)
It was a risky click but it’s actually a YouTube tutorial on “the power clean”
Getting out of my head and enjoying the moment rather than questioning everything
My wife. Once we got together I realized why people say sex is magical
I always thought they said sex was magical because dudes disappear after sex
OP is a madlad
this needs to be seen 🤣🤣
I feel this, I thought sex was amazing, I mean who doesn't, but it's not until I started having sex with my wife that I understood completely why people say it's the best thing ever. No other sexual experience I've had was as powerful and amazing as sex with my wife, wouldn't trade it for the world.
Casting off the puritanical guilt about sexual desire.
Holy shit fr.
Porn during my teenage years demolished that for me, with a little help from my friends. Broke a lot of my prejudice against homosexuals that I was taught in church, too
Toys. I dated one guy who refused to use toys bc it “threatened” his manliness. Said he wanted to be the only thing to get me off. My fiancé loves using toys during sex and it’s a game changer. I highly recommend to everybody.
For real though! I insisted my wife use toys. She gets off a half dozen times during sex now.
Sex with women.
I, too, found this out very late.
I found that one out early, it's awesome
Same-ish. Getting my tubes tied was one of the best decisions I ever made.
One of my goals for this year is to get my tubes tied! I’ve asked about it on another sub already months ago, and am now firm in my desire to have it done. But of course I’m still nervous! If you don’t mind sharing your experience I’d love to hear about it as well!
Easy peasy. Had mine done on a Friday morning, spent weekend on couch icing, was at work Monday.
Thank you! I’m glad it went smooth for you, and it definitely sounds like something I can handle. I really appreciate your reply :)
If you have a stable partner and we are talking about Fallopian tubes, ask your partner to have a vasectomy. Why? A vasectomy is minor surgery, almost subcutaneous. Getting your tubes tied needs to get into your abdominal cavity near some major blood vessels. While it is a routine surgery the inherent risk is much higher.
Thank you for your input! I don’t have a stable partner, and am unable to use hormonal birth control. The only non-hormonal birth control option is copper IUD which comes with its own pains and potential issues. I’m not someone who finds myself in a lot of situations where I’m at risk of getting pregnant (super fun way to say I don’t get laid often haha), but I’ve known for most of my life that I never want to have my own biological children. And as a young single marginally successful woman I’m just exhausted with the constant looming possibility that I could find myself in a situation where I’d end up pregnant; whether by honest accident or due to a mans carelessness. I’m also part of the “extreme” body mod community and, and it doesn’t seem scarier to me than cutting my tongue in half, or being awake and conscious for 3D subdermal implants to be put in. I genuinely appreciate you, and whole heartedly agree if anyone else reads this! Listen to this person! All love. As for me, I’d rather just end the trepidation, even with the risk.
Did it at age 22. Excellent decision.
Edit: That was more than 30 years ago. Already had two kids. It was enough.
Can I ask - did you get any pushback from your doctor? Women who seek to be sterilized in their early 20s almost *universally* get pushback from their doctors, to the point where many will straight up refuse to do the procedure.
Hell yeah! just got mine recently and I am in that waiting period. So excited for when its over.
How was the procedure, if you don't mind me asking?
Just had mine four days ago. I felt the pinch of the anesthetic and a little sensation on the sack before the procedure started but he adjusted slightly and went a little off to the side and I felt literally nothing. It took about an hour all told but he was out of the room for a bit while I numbed up.
As for recovery I’ve had snug boxer briefs on under tight mesh jockstraps and have felt very little discomfort. A few Tylenol the first day, Aleve the second and third and nothing today. I iced every hour - hour and a half for 20-30 min the first day and a half then 2-3 hours the next day and twice today. I feel very good.
Don’t skip the testing!! Do not skip the testing and no unprotected sex until you have proof you are all out of swimmers.
When we went for my husbands there was a post vasectomy baby there (Dad admitted he didn’t do the testing after). Scared the crap out of me!
She’s staying on BC until at least Feb so there won’t be a risk there. I have testing in Dec and Jan and will make sure I get my 20-30 taken care of well before then.
Thanks for the reminder though, I didn’t get it done to have it not work 😉
They give you a shot of local anesthesia and they do some cutting and stitching and you go home. Put some frozen peas and don't scratch the wound. Pretty easy
Just got one myself when my wife’s IUD failed and now we have a unexpected child on the way.
Does your cum change in texture and color?
Naw, also after the operation they tell you you have to cum like 20-30 times before you are actually sterile.
So like a day or two then?
Little longer, there's a bag of peas in the way
It’s the fear of doing it which stops most men
Amen to that. Felt completely free after
At what age do you think it's realistic for me to begin looking for doctors to do it? Ive known all my life (I'm 23 now)that I surely, absolutely, most definitely do not want to have kids. But I've heard that no doctor will even consider it until you're like at least end twenties - early thirties...
Mid 30s. Legit sexual Revolution
Omg yes. My husband (40) and I (36) have been married for over 15 years. We've always had great sex, I've always said we are super compatible in bed :) but the past idk, 3 or so years has been absolutely mind blowing.
As a woman, once I hit 34ish up to now, 37 - I have had a sexual awakening
Oh my god, right? Just turned 34 and it’s like the beast awoke. So great.
But in terms of libido, or anything else?
My desire has grown and I feel sexier and I'm more into trying things
As someone who has just entered his 30s I very much want more information about this lol. What happened in your mid 30s?
So I hear its different for men and woman. As a woman I've become more in tune with my body.
Gotcha. Even if it’s mostly a woman thing, I feel like as a man who has sex with women I might indirectly reap some of those benefits.
My husband benefits insanely
Finding porn that I really like, it makes actually getting wet so much easier and then I'm already warmed up by the time husband is finished showering.
For me it was erotica. Porn really doesn't do anything for me, but reading erotica *chefs kiss*.
Erotica Chefskiss sounds like a Bond villain.
Brb, writing to the producers of the next bond film
Does he know you are watching?
Absolutely. He just knows that what I like he would find boring as fuck so he's happy to outsource the foreplay to the professionals.
Lmao outsourcing foreplay to professionals 🤣
Finding the right partner
This is it lol. I felt kinda neutral towards sex (didn’t particularly like it) until I met my current partner and realized how different it was when someone actually treats your pleasure like a priority
- Running...massively increased my endurance and lost a lot of weight, I can go for as long as I want without breaking a sweat or getting out of breath.
- Viagra...it's a power-up for your cock
- Found a partner that's horny all the time
Having my prostate stimulated
Is it really that good?
It's just a totally different experience. Sometimes i just want my dick touched and they hits by the spot and gets me where I need to be
Sometimes though, I just want something a bit different or it's harder to get there so I'll do it. It's really great to have that option for when you want it
For me it was kinda like the first time anyone touched my cock, only even I didn’t fiddle with my prostate much. It’s also the little push I need to get over the edge sometimes.
I literally tried it for the first time last night. Straight guy but had always been curious. Definitely worth it.
I don't even bother masturbating if I can get my ass involved. That's how good it is.
My kink. Wow, it takes sex to the next level and it's not even really about sex.
Removing hormonal birth control from my life
To be honest….. finding the clit. I know… i know… basic stuff but sex has improved sooooo much afterwards.
My wife. Yes, I’m a sap.
No such thing as too much foreplay. also for us guys: maca root supplements. you can thank me later
Care to elaborate? For science and stuff? Lol
Foreplay is when you do stuff prior to having sex I guess
Like playing Xbox.
At the risk of sounding like an ad, essentially the things ads promise lol. stamina and intensity for sure. if you take it consistently you’ll see results in a few weeks. it honestly made sex fun again.
Weed + sex = mindblowing orgasm
you ever see the back of a 20 dollar bill on WEEEED?
Man I don’t know!
Try shrooms + weed + sex. Best sex you'll EVER have
Tell me more about the combo of weed and shrooms please!!!!
So sex on weed is already amazing. But shrooms is like a whole different headspace. You feel so much more connected and when you're taking a break and laying down it feels like you're melting into the bed. It kind of just feels like you're melting into each other and everything feels so much more elevated. All of your sense are heightened. It's so hard to describe but at least for me it helps me connect and appreciate my partner even more
Communicating- honest open talk about what we want from each other and to do to each other.
Losing weight. I'm more mobile, can bend more easily, have more stamina, and feel more comfortable in my own body.
An electric toothbrush ₍ᵔ·͈༝·͈ᵔ₎
A good hygiene is important indeed
A loving partner
Also, wow there are so many toys to try
As man, learning that moaning is allowed.
Edging is a life changer for any guy. You can keep going for hours and have multiple orgasms. UNTILL NEXT TIME!
Exercise and more exercise..trust me guys. It really helps. Also equally applicable for girls as well.
Finding a partner with a high libido, sex was very infrequent with several previous partners like a couple times a year, so when those occasions came around my sensitivity was high and the actual intercourse after foreplay didn't last to long and they were not really interested in going back to foreplay activities while i recovered so was difficult to not be really self-conscious about but has since gotten much better having long and multiple sessions
Getting off of hormonal birth control. I was on it for nearly 17 years and didn’t realize how many side effects I was suffering until I replaced my birth control pill with a non hormonal IUD. My libido came roaring back, my energy levels are higher and my moods are more stable. I wish I had understood much earlier some of the ways hormones can effect a woman. I honestly feel like a different person in so many ways and wonder what my life would’ve been like had I never gone on hormones in the first place.
Meditation. Of all the things you can do that I believe would actually change your life, that's right at the top.
Elaborate how this helps with sex if you would be so kind lol serious request for real
Not being present in the moment can be the source of various sexual dysfunctions. Mindfulness can help you enjoy sex as a participant rather than anxiously trying to do the fuck good so hard that you can’t come (for example)
Watching, listening, and reading from women about they please either themselves or other womem. Pretty much avoided any kind of content with men in it. I learned so much about pleasing a woman through foreplay and how to really emphasize her pleasure over my own. I learned pretty early into my sexlife so I don't really think finding out sooner would help.
I stopped caring about what I looked like during it and focused instead on the physical sensations. Life changing. (Also edibles.)
Communications and enthusiasm.
Vibrator on nipples. Learned this week. So good.
A bidet. Don't ask, just buy one.
Sobriety was a game changer…
I thought it was impossible for a man to have an orgasm as strong as a woman but oh boy I was wrong.
I just went longer and longer with edging and can now have some of those "can't control myself and shaking all over" orgasms even when simply masturbating, even though with said shaking, it can be quite messy and hard (pun intended) to finish up.
Is this really that common?! Seeing it everywhere
Grapefruit during a bj
\*slurp noises intensify\*
I see, I see. You're men of culture
Finding the right person... Hands down, the best thing you can do to improve your life in general...
Come out to my wife as bisexual.
Trying dick for a change. Shoulda done it years ago
Getting my ass ate. Fucking P H E N O M E N A L.
Being open an honest with my wife about all the things I never thought I could. The flip side was her finally breaking through to understand that she can think about sexual things without feeling guilty. Combining those was absolutely amazing for both of us.
Much better communication on both sides!
Thumb in bum when your hitting it from the back, she’ll love it
Make sure you have consent for that. A guy asked me if I liked that, and I told him absolutely not. During sex he tried it, and I went from wet to bone dry with QUICKNESS. 🤬
Realizing my sexuality