Alcohol and cocaine


I've found my people


Chronic and mental illness. You learn to live with them, but it can be hard.


I understand that so well, and it is hard... you're definitely not alone, tho. ❤


We'll thrive no matter what our bodies and brains tell us.


Hell yeah, we will! This comment made me genuinely smile. Always remember that you deserve to be treated well, to be loved and that you are valid in how you feel! 💪🏻☮💘


Past relationship trauma


All my friends moved to another city, constantly trying to make more money.


Amen to that


I use Reddit


I reply to people who are using Reddit


I reply to people replying to people who are using Reddit


I reply to people replying to people who are using Reddit


I reply to people replying to people who are replying to the people who are using Reddit


I reply to people replying to people who are using Reddit


Better reddit than 4chan


I think 4chan did kind of fuck my life up




Shit that’s deep


Yes I’m same


I think I'm a decent person morally, and I can hold a pleasant conversation, but because of my physical disability I have to spend nearly all my time laying down in bed. People often assume I dislike them and don't want to hang out, they don't realize I want to but can't, so because of this people think I'm very antisocial.


My mom is in the same boat. I felt really bad when a funeral was being held right down the street for someone she knew in high school. She was really torn up about her condition meaning that there was a relatively high chance she wouldn't physically be able to go. Her condition flared up especially bad that day and felt awful for her.


I don't think that


It makes it hard to relate to people, hard to build new relationships, crippling adjustment disorder, constant nightmares.


Just ask them to video call you when they find some special places or something. They'll know you really wanted to but can't.


Why ***aren't*** you? What are you, like 8? Life happens.


no reason other than personal weaknesses


Life sucks sometimes, shit happens. Doesn’t mean you’re weak. We got highs and we got lows. You got this.


I have crushing PTSD from driving ambulance when I was 18-36. It makes it hard to relate to people, hard to build new relationships, crippling adjustment disorder, constant nightmares. A lot of my friends don’t understand why I’m still single, being 6’4” and built like a literal firefighter. The worst part of PTSD is it breaks apart sections of your memories or personality, even if everything looks good on the surface. I still work in emergency services, but don’t buy into any of the toxic heroism whatsoever.


Does your job offer counselling? They should; that's a stressful job, being a paramedic.


I don't even know. I just feel like I'm steadily approaching a full breakdown and I can't figure out why.


yes it feels as if everything is only going to go downhill and its hard to overcome hardships




Haven’t sleep properly have been abused and school


Can relate to that and also no matter what anyone say You. Can't. Get. Yourself. Back. To. Normal


My mother is a narcissist, and let me have far too much freedom too young, like smoking weed with me and giving me lorazepam when I was 13 years old. Then you have nature, having predispositions for multiple mental illnesses. My father worked a lot to support us, and he was a great father to me, though. Maybe the only reason I've not gone off the deep end, yet.




I'm sorry you grew up without a dad, that has to be tough. And it's so shit when a parent is showing or giving you these things since you start out trusting them. Damn, that's messed up on so many levels (each of which I've been on myself) I truly believe by the time I was 13, my mother wanted a friend more than a child (and I'm an only child) so she picked the person right next to her, not thinking about the consequences. If I may ask, do you have any sort of relationship with her now? If you'd rather not say, I totally get it. ✌🏻💕☮




I very much relate to feeling mostly pity towards your mother, rather my mother. Honestly, given what you already posted, trying to have you be a parent to your siblings doesn't really surprise me... It's like she wanted you to become a grown up NOW so you \~unburden\~ her or something. It's interesting, at 16 was when I first was arrested. I really don't think it's pure chance that when you're fed drugs as a child, within a few years, you're practically running amok since you never had an adult to show you right from wrong yet. As long as you're safe from her now, that's what matters most. We power through this shite together.


Because I'm fucked up


Damn good reason


Non-existent father (actually he was there but never showed any paternal instincts. My mother suffers from BPD, and living in poverty for most of life until I got a job. However, I’m too attached to my mother to let her be alone. But she insists on dragging her other adult children into first born/mother bonding time. She’s stressed and I’m worrying about her health.


I hear you. My situation is similar.


Early childhood trauma domestic violence Development affected


Hope you recover soon


Me as well thank you though


Borderline misanthropy mostly resulting from being surrounded by and often kept under the boot of rotten people and a constant mixture of anger, fear, and exhaustion resulting from an undiagnosed, untreated illness that may very well kill me within the next year. And I suppose choosing to go on Reddit when I'm bored doesn't help either. Oh, and lingering effects from 7-ish years of psychiatric medication I shouldn't have been on in the first place. Actually, come to think of it, I'm gonna cut myself off from adding to the list now so it doesn't become a wall of text, just assume there's plenty more.


Christian parents and an upbringing that only ever cared about how I was with Christ and very little else.


constant abuse. specially from my jobs.


Internet access at a young age




Vote for Trump


I don’t have a single long term friend (or any at all) because everyone treated me like shit. The only two people that treat me right I met online. I don’t talk to one of them anymore and he was my best friend who I had an amazing last conversation with, not knowing it would be our last.


Narcissistic mother absentee father


Cycle of never fitting in anywhere, an unfavorable childhood, inability to maintain any sort of relationship, multiple argumentative inner-voices.


Always being tired


I just smoked a bowl


Idk, just am


Looks like a lot of need for a big o hug 🤗


Idk man


I'm trapped like a rat in fascist America.


lack of a father figure growing up i'm doing better now though, i've found some great mentors


I subscribed to r/guro a year ago.


That is NSFL murder hentai


Alcohol prescription drugs and cocaine fucked my life up. Although I’m now sober


Way too many reasons to list here.


I burn toast, and I genuinely think it tastes better that way.


Lets just say that I am pretty much fucked up to the point that my views on life and society are beyond fucked up as I am mostly pro global genocide, instead of pro-life and pro-choice. I tend to always fantasize that either an act of God or instead just some global man-made catastrophe would just wipe out all life on Earth already. I also wish that this cataclysm event scene from the [Supernatural Television series](https://youtu.be/X4_mwEW7oyE) would happen in real life as well. Idk how, but oh well a man can only dream I guess 🤷‍♂️.


>I tend to always fantasize that either an act of God or instead just some global man-made catastrophe would just wipe out all life on Earth already. I can identify with that. The world needs a hard reset.


Searched among us rule 34


Probably because I've smoked a couple grams o' weed and drank a fifthish of bourbon. Or maybe because of the inattentiveness of my parents in my teen years, when I experimented with hard drugs. Or maybe because of the the cocktails of antidepressants, antipsychotics, sleeping pills, Ritalin^^tm, etc I was fed as a a preteen. Or maybe because of all the moving around and swapping between my separate parents' houses as a child, and all the blurry unpleasant half-memories of "babysitters" in decrepit "playgrounds" that looked a lot like like the bunks in the back of RVs. Or maybe that time when I was a toddler on a rocking horse and watched my parents split up. Fuck, man... Maybe *you* can tell me. All I know is that it wasn't my decision to get wasted tonight. That shit was downright sane.


Found myself having no friends at the age of 18, like… I got some friends but none of them cares about me and I think that if I’d die they’ll just forget about me


I’d a lot friend at 18 and now I’m at 30 and nobody won’t care about me.Don’t put so much pressure about this.The friend will come and gone .


I am highly desired by my partner and that give us both mutual satisfaction so in sense that is a good thing right ?


I live in a country where there are no LGBTQ rights and there are laws that can send you to jail if people found out about you. living like this is hard I'm holding on until I can finally move away


Woof. You expect an easily summed up answer that can be put into a post on reddit? Because Therapists, psychologists, counselors, and other social workers get paid by the hour for good reason.


Man, dogs are really sensible


My abusive Exes


My mother died 3 months after I turned 14, I'm 15 in a week. I have crippling depression and crippling social anxiety. I have PTSD and BPD. I'm not sure shit gets better anymore. I've lost hope in the world.


idk why you askin me


Idk, you seemed like you would know


All my friends moved to another city, constantly trying to make more money.. I’m 21 and I got plenty of bills - yay adulthood lmfao


I don't forget the past I guess


Years of trauma in my childhood.


In a good or bad way?




In that case I'm fucked Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppp ;)


My parents probably have at least a little to do with it (not that they were abusive or anything, just kinda crappy), but over time I've also concluded that for the most part, it's simply my nature. So... genetics, I guess?


Mostly mood disorder and ADD.


My mom and my exes


Because my mom left and took my sisters with her, but not me, at a time when mother's were so much more likely to get custody, which means she chose to leave me behind. Because I was paddled for acting like a regular kid, for being curious about the world, for wanting to know things, for showing emotion, because that kind of thing embarrassed him in front of his peers. And I got paddled instead of swatted because he was 'tired of hurting his hand on me'. Because I was under a hundred pounds and had to lean into every swing, because falling meant starting the count over. Because I could do no right. Because nobody was ever proud of me for anything, when it would have meant something. Because I lost my curiosity. I lost my desire to know everything. I lost the ability to show and even experience most emotion. I could have been a king amongst men, and let myself be made a commoner, because I was never good enough.


I'm a victim of soicumstance.




[REDACTED] is [REDACTED]'s father, so does that mean [REDACTED] is his mother.


Cause the more I put my heart on my sleeve the more I get hurt not in a romantic relationship way but friends as well got done dirty by two people last year cause of their stupid liking each other phase which somehow I ended up in the middle the dude did nothing but harassed me cause of her and anytime she was brought up was jealous and around actted completely fake, started talking as if she was just a competition like a trophy and I just took it cause I wanted the mutual friends we had to stay together and i really never cared that much cause I thought that's just how boys who like girls are but it started to piss me off cause I actually started to have decent conversations with her to the point where I felt like I made a pretty good friend but as time moved on the more she just sunk down the rabbit hole of his the more cold and flakey she got kinda like I didn't exist started to treat me like garbage confronted her about it but she didn't want to comprehend so she just ghosted me now he rides her tail coat I keep my distance from them and told close mutual pals that I won't be around that much if they are it just kinda made me remember how crappy people can be if you give them a motive. It's been a year now I'm learning to move on and improve myself but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't like some from of closure for this situation or I didn't want some form of karma if that even exist.


Belt swinging dad and computer addict mum 💅🏻


I made the wrong decisions in my yesterdays


Why aren’t you?


My brain is wrong.


when i was 3 someone told me i would never see again, they tried to blind me with shampoo and then locked in the trunk of a car where i passed out and woke up in a hospital.


I had parents who were to old to keep having children. They were so tired of raising kids, that by the time I started comprehending things, and creating thoughts and memories, they took all their frustrations from the other kids out on me. Most of my teenage years were spent being yelled at for being too much or not enough like my siblings.


Im tired of being alive, so i dont try anymore.


I was too sheltered so I started rebeling at 16


Because I had to send my own girlfriend to The nut House because she was carving herself while Skyping me from a state away. Then, her own parents cared so little they signed a waiver so I could check her out myself (still feels illegal). I can't even guess on how many feet of gauze I bought when I was 19.


Living example of bad parenting


I'm not, I'm only up. Sigh.


Cuz covid




I grew up with older people so I understand everything my friends do, the reason I’m fucked up is cause the friends I like most I know are bad for me


Philip Larkin knew why: “They fuck you up, your mum and dad, they don’t mean to but they do.”


From that I must work,and I am trying to find to work what I can do without any pressure.


Document errors that's why I can't graduate college


Document errors that's why I can't graduate college


Shit family that lessened my chances of becoming somebody that could be loved. Other issues that contribute to that, too. Then there's just no point.


I like eating whole peanuts, shell and all.


I’m an art lover who hates sports, that grew up in Norway.


Dad was a massive asshole to me growing up. Nothing physically abusive but I was always treated as an outcast and a "worse" version of my older siblings, always treated like a disgrace and was never allowed to have my own thoughts, likes, or opinions. I still harbour all these feelings and resentments nearly 30 years later. Luckily if it wasn't for my Mom being my rock I probably wouldn't be here today, but there's still a lot to work through.


For the thrills.


Why are you fucked down?


Several childhood traumas, alcoholism, mental health issues. All good here.


Maybe fucked up is too exaggerated but i struggle with self esteem a lot and feel like i fuck up a lot. Apparently it's something to do with my childhood but when i look back all i can think of is 'eh, it's all i know and while there were rough patches it's not really worse than others' lives.'


Because I’m lonely


i play people playground and just watch them burn endlessley with the life syringe.


Repeated childhood trauma.


stress and anxiety


Not sure


Cuz of my stupid decisions 😭 and my pride


A mixture of bullying, mental illness and the fact that i grew up with both of them, which resulted in me continuing the cycle of getting worse for the next 30 years after it.


I am 93% introverted and 99% jujdemental Do an Mbti test please


Long list, mate.


My family fucked me up. 14 ish years of my half-brother physically and psychologically tormenting me while my half-sister did her best to run away from it, and while my "mother" ignored it or else claimed it was normal. What the fuck is normal about a child being bullied into depression by age 7? What's normal about a child self-harming at age 8? The only person who ever stood up for me was one of my sister's boyfriends. Bruh. As a result I have issues out the arse, to the point where there are some things about me that are so extensively fucked up that I will never confide in anyone about them.


Video games.


religious peopel


10 years of toxic friendship, parents not understanding how depression and anxiety works, being belittled 24/7


Because of me


If I knew, I wouldn't be fucked up now


im hopelessly in love w someone who is stuck in a toxic cycle and by extension, i get stuck in it too


Parents 😆


I have ADHD.


Family not leaving me alone


Simple answer: Childhood and relationship trauma did the trick


Trust issues because of past experiences. I have this weird habit of pushing away the right person just because a wrong person in the past has made me go through some things.. don't know how to overcome that and oh yeah, also not having a proper appetite


I’m assuming you mean mentally. I’m fucked physically thank you very much.


TLDR; bio father wasn't in picture, phased out for schizophrenic who was deep into drugs without our knowledge. Eventually figured out, followed by a fight that got DCFS draged in. Had my family torn apart, the one family member I was close to (my grandpa) died while I was still in foster care. Mom got me and my sister back, only to get fucked over by food stamps constantly getting shut off, and the high cost of food where we lived. Wasn't capable of getting enough food, got badly malnourished. Brain development halted for 3 years, and was slowed down significantly. Became emotionally unstable, and was in constant trouble due to it. Still struggling to recover.


I have major depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, paranoia, OCD, and ADHD. I grew up reading George Carlin's books and watching Robin Williams stand up. My dad walked out on family. I have a genetic disease that caused me to lose my lower right leg at 14. Tl;Dr I have more problems than high school SATs. But ya learn to deal. Life is fun though.


Several reasons. Family wasn't exactly stable, peers were shit heads, opening up to friends about shit that has happened to me, especially if they say they won't just boot me for telling them, boot me after a while, and I've helped several people with depression, with finding their identity, with solving their life problems, acting as a father figure for several of them, just for them to toss me under the bus when it was politically expedient. There's more in there, but that's a good summary.


i have never felt loved or wanted by anyone, including family. and i can feel energy all the time so it throws me off a lot and ruins my moods


Why, What did they tell you?


Bullied from day one in elementary school. Divorced parents just as I was hitting puberty. Crippling migraines from age 11. Had a kid at 17. Depression-diagnosis at 22. Type 2 diabetes at 25. My younger brother died at 28, I was 34. My mom died at 65 three years ago. I'm eating 6 different types of medicine every day.


I don't know. I've never had an answer to why i've always felt so broken and fucked up. But I've always felt this way and even with therapy in life i've never been able to shake it.


I am trying to do things that I don't like.


BPD, enough said on that. I ruin everything lol


I overthink too much


When I was 5 my whole family was involved in a bad car accident. In December of the same year I was hit by a car crossing the street. Both times spent significant amounts of time in hospital. Im 62 now and still have ptsd and anxiety from it


I was born with a lot of negative karma from last lives that needs balancing Also it's Cancer season


not having my gender legally recognized in my own country.


My parents beat me and they threw me out on the streets when I came out. You never really recover from poverty, you never get all that lost time back and that fucks me up.


As a child, I thought I was just naturally fucked up. As an adult, I realise it was all the abuse that fucked me up.


Because I’m not willing to take responsibility for my life and I blame other people for my failings.


Had feelings of loneliness and paranoia come and go for a while, but what really messed me up for the past few months are intrusive thoughts and finding out I’m in a cult.


Mentally ill mom, her abusive boyfriend, biological dad didn’t want to be in my life, family full of alcoholics, multiple men have assaulted me, had my own issues with drugs and alcohol. It took a lot of therapy and work on myself but I refuse to be just another statistic.


I'm 25 grew up with mainly my grandparents i just liked being there out in the woods and country side as well older people in general (working construction so lot of old contractors) so I have a very old fashioned way of looking at things so I constantly struggle with that mindset and how things are today. It didn't help I didn't really fully have free rien of the internet and such until I was like 16.


Dont know what to do anymore in life thus ending it soon


How much time do you have?


My mental disorder


How am I *not* fucked up?


Amino and Omegle at a young age.


Mostly mi madre. Some my father. Then booze and bad living to compensate.




Trauma and bad parents


Autism, childhood trauma


I would say that my in my family there were many people who were fucked up mentally. So I got a package which is full of disorders, cluster "b" stuff and much more. Nobody knows who I am truly in the inside, and this makes me go deeper in my problems. I lost contact with all of my friends, logged out from other social media platforms(I just have fb messenger and reddit) I disappeared many times from home but came back eventually(I am not old enough to get along with living alone yet). I am too ambivalent for life, this is why nobody could stand me.


Abuse from Sibling, and having to pretty much grow up taking care of myself.


My brother beat the hell out of me infront of his fiancé, my mother, step dad, my two kids. My mother took his side. My sister did the most unforgivable thing to my husband and I, and my dad rejects my calls (he has a new family now) My brother is super racist and won’t associate with my Sister because her children are colored … I always stuck up for her but he didn’t like that! My sister is also a drunk and acts stupid so last visit she had here with me was the last. Someone call Dr. Phil !


just am no reason


There is a reason. Identifying the reason is not the same as assigning blame. Looking deep within and knowing yourself does give a modicum of freedom, even if it doesn't fix the problem. We ALL have issues. Own yours. Take care, fellow effed up Redditor 🙂


Bad mental illnesses. My mom passed right in front of me at 13yo and a lot of my family has dropped dead. I’m 19 and I can probably count the number of family members I have left on 2 hands. I just won’t go get help cause I don’t wanna go on the meds so pretty much I just suffer in silence


My father didn't love me and my mother was an abused wife. Also generational trauma.


Look around


most of the time i am incredibly selfish.