T O P
martyqscriblerus

probably a lot of places suddenly have better labor laws


BalouCurie

Tell that to the decadent French ex colonies.


nsfwtttt

I thought you would say better food lol :-)


TheNexusGen

Tipping is a dead societal norm because restaurant workers get paid fairly and properly.


[deleted]

[удалено]


in-site

And be nice to creeps who touch them


ArchyWilson

From what I can tell, bartenders/servers actually make more money in the US whilst working less hours than we do here thanks to your tipping culture though. But yeah, "financial stability" and health insurance are nice.


TheodoreQDuck

Perhaps more money on average. But tips are never disbursed equally. Some people make far more tips than others. Hot young people tend to make bank especially if they are flirty and fake-attentive. This gravy train doesn't last, and many servers get screwed.


ArchyWilson

Yeah fair enough man, but still, more money for less hours (at least from what I've heard or seen here on Reddit for example, I've travelled a fair bit but never did work in the States). Here everyone gets screwed regardless. Not saying that hospitality workers don't struggle in the US or anything, just that, it's as bad if not worse here.


DirtyTitsDieter

Yeah it didn’t quite turn out like that for the French colonies. I guess you ignored the “bloodthirsty” part.


The_Frostweaver

More nuclear power and baguettes! Vive la france! 🇫🇷


LazySwashbuckler

I can deal with that...


Lord_Frenchfries

Maybe cheese price goes down I can finally afford cheese?


be4u4get

Unfortunately demand rises and causes spikes in the cheese economy


[deleted]

Labor laws are sane Food and water quality is not to be fucked with Coal power plants are shut down and replaced by nuclear plants. Choice of TV station shrinks to 6 and those are all belonging to friends of the ruler Programming quality is so bad it can give people mild strokes and gives mankind a 10% cognitive shrinkage per year. World is united so no more wars. But France is never united, so expect violent social outbursts regularly. Places that misbehaves will be introduced to the French police which isn’t as racist as the American one but clearly on a power trip that makes them a threat for anyone capable of making visual contact.


algerbanan

and movies have long dialogues completely unrelated to the premise


FriendshipVarious740

Never heard about the 6 Tv station belonging to the ruler or Police power trip. Would love to learn more about it


galrad311

What is the problem with our programming skills? We are specialized in high quality certified code, INRIA developed the coq language for this purpose


[deleted]

I was not referring to this kind. More like the content at said TV stations.


galrad311

hahahah ok


LogicalFallacyCat

I’m American. I don’t know what’s changing exactly but I’m willing to feel I out and see how it goes.


Primal_guy

Congrats, we have nuclear power. I’m not French but I would assume so


Hermes_Domain

Correct temperature standards instead of Fahrenheit,


DarkGaming09yt

Finally, no more POS measurement system


SextupleRed

Protests everywhere, every weekend.


Primal_guy

“What the fuck are we protesting?” “The president” “But we always do that” “Shut up and hold this sign”


ztrashh

SACRE BLEU!


timewastinbuttsmelly

Fewer snails in the driveway


Drug_Ninja

More wine.


mrspacysir

We can get rid of evil billionaires really fast with that funny razor? SIGN ME UP!


DarkGaming09yt

We no longer do that since the 80's, y'know


terpterpin

If you take over the US, it’s time to reinstate it.


BeaverShmeaver

Good bread and croissants, and good whine.


ReklessGamer07

Instead of a gun my father uses a rocket propelled baguet


Riklanim

Bomb de terre


MormonHorrorBuff

French Fries and French Toast will probably be named something else.


HistorianUnhappy9975

How many times do we gave to tell you: FRIES AREN'T FRENCH!!! -an angry Belgian


swanbiltong

Shhhhh eat your brussel sprouts.


Drug_Ninja

\*Brussels prouts


NameForPhoneAccount

Well they would finally become french with OP's suggestion.


terpterpin

THAT’S why my Tervuren would look at me oddly when I called them that.


gregglewa

Pom du terre au frite?But you do bring up a point as the French are very protective of their language culture and have an agency that develops official French versions of other language loan words. It's totally ludicrous. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acad%C3%A9mie\_Fran%C3%A7aise](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acad%C3%A9mie_Fran%C3%A7aise)


Rom21

"Frites" et "Pain perdu" in France.


girlfromdundee

common sense socialism and August in the countryside


Potato-Lenin

France is not a socialist country.


swanbiltong

Obviously we all speak French, Nuclear energy is used widely, cheese and wine consumption increases, processed food consumption decreases. An increase in the arts, especially those annoying mimes.


frompariswithhate

Interesting how the mime thing became a cliché. I'm French and I don't think I've ever actually seen a mime irl...


Holiday_Newspaper_29

Oh please God no. Not the mimes. Would Miming become a required class in school or something like that....I'll have to stock up on my 'special' pills now.


Runawaytothelake

Better bread for all? That’s the thing I’ll keep in mind while trying to forget how horribly cruel this new world is.


Myfourcats1

I finally have a chance to put my four years of high school French to use.


askmekaigainiki

Bonne chance!


ViSaph

As a British person I'd probably have to kill myself lol. I'm just joking but all the people thinking it'd be a utopia probably don't know much about their colonial past. To put it very lightly they were just as cruel as us and when it came time they fought viciously to keep their colonies. Read a little on French colonial brutality, it's not pretty.


HarryBalszak

Just ask Haiti.


Arcaditopia

The only sane reply here.


Holiday_Newspaper_29

Croissants for breakfast every day, my face has a perpetually haughty look, I am suddenly very chic and....that's just for starters!


Mtfdurian

A nice! Finally the Netherlands is getting a myriad of new metro lines again! And a TGV to the east AND north. Done with lethargocrats! *for the reference of those metro lines, look up Grand Paris Express.


Ryshoe8

Everyone gets better food and loses a bunch of weight


NameForPhoneAccount

*Redacted inaccurate information*


Rom21

This is just totally wrong. They are, just after Italy, the better country in Europe for this point: https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/databrowser/view/sdg\_02\_10/default/table


NameForPhoneAccount

You are absolutly right. I remembered it wrong. I stand corrected.


absurded

From 'My Fair Lady' - "The French don't care what they do actually as long as they pronounce it properly."


SilverDevil460

The world is now under the blood thirsty rule of france


Idk_PAPAS

I can legally drink wine


CiaoBB88

I'm smoking and drinking more, and the rock bands are terrible, but I have an outrageously gorgeous accent.


EarlyGoose9284

The food improves remarkably


Antique-Commercial98

Food tastes a lot better, and there’s a boulangerie at every corner


HeisenbergDKK

More cheese and baguettes! Yay! Im in!


polite_plesiosaur

I can finally get better cheeses and free healthcare


ArchyWilson

Amazing cheese and great healthcare, but not free.


RifleShower

My mind, since I wonder how they did it without surrendering.


optiongeek

Reddit replaced by 1990s era Minitel screens.


[deleted]

I get to smoke cigarettes in public again? Let's do this!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Gauloises?! Where do I sign?


Majestic_Currency_96

Less WOKE people


terpterpin

“Fewer”


RavenclawQueen56

Women finally have rights again


in-site

Hey maybe abortion would be a protected right again


FormalWare

American cheese is now "Freedom" cheese.


Much-Meringue-7467

American cheese is now illegal


terpterpin

Or we can name it what it really is - British cheese.


talosf

Better bread, better food, French language, cheap medicine, respect for arts, snotty waiters, better wine, and a bunch more


Spooldub

bad time to be muslim


NameForPhoneAccount

What do you refer to?


Ben_the_person_thing

French society has a very negative view of Muslims. In france they practice smth called "laïcité" a concept or word that as far as i know doesn't exist in many places where religion has no place anywhere that has the do with the Republic (schools,mairies, basically any infrastructure of the government), no wearing religious signs, so no clothing that can be associated with a religion or show you religion.And what religion has a lot of symbolism through clothing, islam. It's gone so far as to ban full body veils (the ones where only the eyes are visible) in public and i think there's talk of removing the veil all together. The point of laïcité is so that there is no discrimination and or conflict, and a sense of equality,except there is quite clearly a bias


NameForPhoneAccount

I am french myself, I know what laïcité is. It is very weird to me that to foreigners it is seen as a tool to bash on muslims. I don't think french muslims feel that way either although I would be curious to see what they might have to say. To clarify, "laïcité" comes from the separation of state and church and was aimed to fight the influence of the church on political business and education. That really hasn't changed over the years. There are biggots and racists in France just like anywhere but I don't think it has anything to do with laïcité. Also, there are no talks on making the hijab illegal in the public space except maybe from a few far right biggots but there is no way that law would pass.


Ben_the_person_thing

I never said it was a tool to bash on Muslims, I said it was biased. Ok I may be getting the impression that it's biased and I would also be curious what someone who is Muslim would have to say about it. And for the hijab banning, I'd agree to say it wouldn't happen, just thought I'd heard some right-wing news say something, or might have been Zemmour, unreliable sources basically.


JackCooper_7274

More wine, cheese, fine pastries, and terrible engineering. I'm fine with all of those except the last.


Rom21

>terrible engineering What? Hight Speed Trains, Concorde, Airbus, ESa, Nuclear power plants, nuclear bombs, submarines, etc,etc. Where did this come from?


DarkGaming09yt

The Concorde blew up from a debris on the runway... Oh and french car bad


Rom21

And the challenger shuttle exploded too. Are you going to tell me that wasn't an engineering marvel too? And...no!


HappyEyeBall17

I’d leave


high_on_acrylic

I’m no longer allowed to pick up the children I nanny from school due to my head scarf. I’m not even Muslim (not like they deserve it). Edit: Apparently I might have goofed. I can pick the kiddos up (yay for their education!) but I cannot go to my classes at my public college (fml for my education!) so yeah still sucks but a different flavor I guess?


chinchenping

this is absolutely not true. You see tons of scarfed moms and nanny picking up their kids from school.


high_on_acrylic

In France? 👀 If so that’s awesome but last I checked they passed a law that minors and those picking children up from school were not allowed to wear religious head coverings in the name of “secularism”. Like…full on forcing them to remove the veil once they reach the gate of the school.


chinchenping

you are not allowed to work or study in a public schools with a headscarf or any "apparent" religious attire, it includes headscarf but also kippa, crucifix and we even had a dude that had to take off his pentagram. The rules are "bendy" by nature so each school can adapt to the students, in most cases, having small crucifix earing or a muslim crescent pendant will be no trouble (each private schools have their own set of rules). You can absolutely enter the school with a headscarf if you have to. I think (not 100%) it applies to any public building


high_on_acrylic

Ah, okay. So I can pick the kiddos up but I can’t go to college. Thanks for the correction (I’m obviously not French) but uh…yeah still fucked up 😅


chinchenping

>college haha bad pick again sorry, public universities in france are, for most of them, an extremely free thinking environment and the "religious attire" law doesn't apply there (at least for now)


chinchenping

I'm french and i was NOT expecting those type of answers


Affectionate-One-638

Grab a real croissant


haha_poor13

me being here, I just hang myself cause I'm not dealing with french rule


LBDShow

I'd have to learn the language.


DarkGaming09yt

French is the worst language to learn... So... Bonne chance ?


terpterpin

Icelandic, Xhosa, Mandarin, Arabic, Japanese - these are just a few of the languages that are demonstrably harder than French for English native speakers to learn.


Sanguiniutron

I'll finally have people pronounce my last name properly. What a world


terpterpin

Canada would have to get over it and adopt Parisian French. People in NH, Maine, and Louisiana get pissed.


MettatonNeo1

We are definitely going to have a problem. We are very informal here


Pharaon4

All bread is now baguette


Dragon_King3199

Would everyone speak one language or would there still be language borders


gregglewa

Guess I'd have to start smoking. Frog legs are back on the menu!


terpterpin

Hmmm, now I’m wondering how smoked frog legs taste.


Frost555559

The size of france


[deleted]

Free healthcare for e v e r y o n e But people complaining all the time But free healthcare


ArchyWilson

Great healthcare, but not free.


[deleted]

You're right, technically not free. Still great !


terpterpin

Yes! This drives me crazy. There is no free health care or higher education. They are INCLUDED IN TAXES.


Seven-and-a-bit

We stop bending over to the posh lads - UK


Justie04

Communication breaks down as nobody is able to learn French and we all cry


Anxious-Programmer-1

Baguettes and twingos everywhere


ThisFreakinGuyHere

In order to fit in I start acting like a jerk for no reason and get a mistress


bahvya_sharma

I get to hunt people down without getting accused


Ok_Pear_8291

NO MORE FAST FOOD, ONLY MOLLUSKS


LuxerIsCool

dude I looked at a light in a video and now I have that one effect with the light but I cant see some areas and my vision is super weird and uh... Yeah its just really weird some areas I cant see, but I also can its hard to explain. But I wonder whats happening


UnderstandingFull639

I'm certainly not going to buy baguettes for breakfast. My beloved German bread will get trough this crisis.


mrfandomguy

We are force to eat frogs and snails


2sanman

Freedom Fries --> French Fries


-_sus_-

Probably the list of most powerful countries


MrSheepthegreat

No kechap on pasta and pizza.


exist-in-a-library22

I can finally finish learning basic french (no thanks to Duolingo) and eat cwassoint


Mission_Anything_429

There’s be a lot more baguette related deaths.


HollyHobbyOxenfree

The French language requirements in my country paradoxically become WAY less onerous.


Pro_Pabu050

Baguette


Conscious_Exit_5547

Fries... They're just called fries now


A_reddit_bro

Every country now has a bahn mi equivalent. The baguette rules supreme.


blukirbi

k


WiseOwlBear

My first question is, why is France blood thirsty? lol.


gavreaux

Mandatory cigarettes.


Feeblemind101

I surrender


FortressOnAHill

A civil war ensues. Both sides run from each other. And everything is just 10% more racist than before


No-Wishbone-9889

The way we laugh - “Huh-huh baguette!”


RoyalRien

I step out of my door and get stabbed to death


EgoSenatus

Bloodthirsty? I’d argue france hasn’t been bloodthirsty since WWI.


heyheywhatdoyousay

Abortion is legally protected again


williamboland

France


Dragon-factor

Everyone has abortion rights


NoPatience1322

the native language i guess


AravisawesomexD

Russian gets conquered


7andhalf-x-6

Just tell em the Germans are back.


Substantial-Fig-1907

The universal language


zugabdu

This sounds like a different version of France from real France.


wigginsadam80

Well, no more wars. Can't surrender to yourself.


Datapower

The US finally converts to the metric system


Flustered-Flump

I now get social healthcare, more protection in my job and way more PTO. And if I had another kid, paternity leave!!!


NoMooseSoup4You

The metric system. Finally!


HighlandsBen

Terrible for me. All the handsome stylish guys turn out to be straight, all the gay guys look like junkies


Ok_Student8032

34 hr work week


Potato-Lenin

The Muslims are having an even worse time than normal


gooseblahblahhh

Hopefully after dominating the world, the French will make a gluten free baguette


Redacted_G1iTcH

If it’s anything like French history (instead of measuring by years, its measured in RPM) it’s revolution time


NachoNYC

Haiti has to pay 99% tax


phoenixbandana

Working hours, facial hair and basic mannerisms, and everyone eats snails


terpterpin

Margarine is outlawed.


goldenmensch

the thing that changes is the world is now under the bloodthirsty rule of France I guess


Mephist0n

Purposeless thought since France would give up after the first battle with Germany.


HegemonHarbinger

Free cigarettes for everyone


Hennepin451

USA FINALLY gets universal healthcare!


OkCountryfan

I can speak French and I wanna cry and try to speak Tagalog but those fucking French will ban any languages that doesn't obey the French it would make me wanna cry but first I get a baguette first and eat it and cry and probably become a [email protected] and I'm gonna bang my head until I die and now that's the end of my life


waiveofthefuture

French kisses for everyone


DesignOverall

Ask Algeria


Bad_DecisionSM

Air quality is now horrible, and radio stations are no longer good.


Mediocre-Designer620

je sus


Anna_Gynn

MY thirst to be an arsonist


Dolphoodle

Pimp slap him and get a new leader


TheOther36

I'm legally fictional now


Alant222

juste de la baguette = just baguettes


Slickdick99

We speak frenchies !


onions_have_layers69

i probably live somewhere in Africa


galwegian

better everything! yay for our new French overlords.


WeddingNew3941

I take my rifle and my sourdough(they ain’t making me eat no baguette) and VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!