you don’t bring it up
if they want to tell you about them, they’ll tell you
Unfortunately, this is pretty common in the gay community. I've heard them referred to as battle scars and while I don't bear any myself, the description is appropriate. It was a struggle to continue living at points. When I see old self-harm scars on guys, I can't help but feel a little proud of them. I haven't encountered any fresh self-harm, but I've helped guys whose wounds were on the inside so I can't imagine it's all that different when on the outside.
If they were old, I would think they went through something a while ago. It does not define who they are now, and if they wanted to tell me they can when they are ready.
If they were new? I think I would ask if everything was ok.
Yeah that's honestly the only way to go about this.
Well there are two distinct states here. I don't ask questions about or worry about old scars; I have my fair share. But if they're recent and healing then let's just say concern would kill the vibe.
Nothing, as long as mine didn't bother them.
I'm actually having sex? This must be a dream...
Ignore it and if I’m actually close with this person and talk to them regularly I’d ask them if they are ok later on
If the person doesn't seem worried/bothered/upset about them, I'd ignore them, and maybe ask at a different moment.
"I can't believe I'm having sex with a woman"
Who said it’s a woman?
I believe the poster you're replying to implied as much; consider that they may not be in a position where they're having sex with a man.
Depends heavily on how recent they are
My wife and I have been married for 13 years and while she does have trauma from her youth that she dealing with was never a cutter. If I found something new like this I would be very concerned and we would talk about it. Hopefully she would talk about it with her therapist too.
I would bring it up afterwards. Take it as an opportunity to be support for their health.
No, really don't do that. It is an opportunity to build trust when then open up. And everything that looks like self harm is not self harm. Don't play amateur therapist.
I only said bring it up. Wether or not they want to talk about it is not my choice, especially if they are old scars and she’s not hiring herself anymore then it doesn’t concern me.
Depends on the nature of the relationship. It might not be any of my business.
Nothing, being someone who’s never self harmed before I actually feel like I’m the minority at least from my experience. If they wanna bring it up sometime I’ll listen and be understanding but I’m not gonna ask.
It happened. I didn't know about self harm then and just asked. She told me and we continued.
I have quite a few. They're old but very noticeable. Nobody has ever said anything or stopped having sex w me/treating me well.
"Wow, I thought people normally carved notches on the bedpost."
Was in this same scenario before, I kept going with the sex. I mean why bring up something so personal and painful right in the middle of sex, unless you don’t want the nasty. I’d just say leave that conversation for another day, but for me we talked about it after the nasty.
Draw over it with semen, and whisper "....*Simba*."
or sing the CIIIIRCLE of LIIIFE. they love that sappy crap
I'd keep it to myself and think, "damn, I hope they are OK and that I can help keep them in a better place than they used to be"
If I noticed self-harm scars on someone whilst having sex, I would not bring it up. First of all, at this time its not my business. Secondly, its not prevalent to the current situation. Now if this person comes to me about it, then I will do my best to support them, but until that happens, its not my place. That's just how I see it though.
pfft, keep going. get the deed done then maybe mention it
I mean, unless they're oozing on me at the time. You literally have poontang right in front of you, stfu and get at it.
Oh. They have them too.
I would keep loving them.
Kiss the scars and tell them it will be ok.
become another notch in the skin
I’d kiss it as an acknowledgment that I saw it and it’s a non issue. Then never bring it up on my own
Did I read that correctly? Is the top comment really “don’t bring it up”? As in NEVER?
A FWB in high school had scars on her thighs. I ignored them, then months later she asked me about them and I said "I did not notice." She was upset/mad about it, I suppose it was part of the attention seeking behavior.
I've been with more than a few people who've had them. I wouldn't really think about it at all.
Ignore them as they are probably very insecure ab them in that intimate moment and sex is not the time to have a convo ab it
Mine are old, and I’ve never had it brought up when they see it. Maybe in a longer term relationship they’ll ask, but almost nobody will judge you, and if they do their a bad fit anyway.
Hug them harder
I would relate
Hope to god that they're old because I'm tired of dealing with people who have a mountain of baggage
Reduce the percentage of self-harm scars by adding someoneelse-harm scars
Gives me something to aim my load at
Would give me pause!
i would think we’d have another thing in common
Do nothing. Think what you want.
Stop immediately and ask prying questions.
I wouldn't bring it up.
I wouldn’t say anything because they know you can see them, they aren’t stupid.
Just leave it alone and if they tell you about them, listen.
Nothing, scars are scars and they mean you survived end of story
During sex? Hey, I'm busy here!
Just once in my life I want to date girl who doesn't go to therapy
I hope no one would do anything unless they are fresh scars. I have some from when I was 14-15 year old and strugling with depression. I don’t want to think about that when I’m having sex more than 15 years later. It’ll make you feel selfconsious and can ruin the whole thing.If you’r important to somebody, they’ll share about themselves without asking.
Ignore it probably just a torture kink
Those girls are the wildest. Enjoy her
"Hooray! You made it!"
I fucked a chick with one leg. That's one hell of a scare. Never mentioned it. I just slid my hand down her leg, felt plastic, and she grabbed my hand and moved it somewhere else.
Go harder, they can obviously handle it rough
Oh shit.... I fucked up and stuck my dick in crazy.
You should probably enjoy it
Ignore till later
Keep shagging them
Not ruin sex by staring at them or mentioning them because duh
We all have baggage. Some people more then others and some people dont have the option of hiding it(scars,tattoos,meth teeth), but we can all change. I wouldent read to much into it
my girlfriend has some. i dont care about them, they are from a time before me. i told her that if she does that shit again im leaving.