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[deleted]

you don’t bring it up if they want to tell you about them, they’ll tell you


cscf0360

Unfortunately, this is pretty common in the gay community. I've heard them referred to as battle scars and while I don't bear any myself, the description is appropriate. It was a struggle to continue living at points. When I see old self-harm scars on guys, I can't help but feel a little proud of them. I haven't encountered any fresh self-harm, but I've helped guys whose wounds were on the inside so I can't imagine it's all that different when on the outside.


WittyNameNo2

If they were old, I would think they went through something a while ago. It does not define who they are now, and if they wanted to tell me they can when they are ready. If they were new? I think I would ask if everything was ok.


sarcastagirly

This


[deleted]

2nd this


JustThatOneGuy1311

Yeah that's honestly the only way to go about this.


JewcyBoy

Well there are two distinct states here. I don't ask questions about or worry about old scars; I have my fair share. But if they're recent and healing then let's just say concern would kill the vibe.


chillin-goodvibes

Nothing, as long as mine didn't bother them.


SalFunction12

I'm actually having sex? This must be a dream...


anniebyers3

Ignore it and if I’m actually close with this person and talk to them regularly I’d ask them if they are ok later on


salthecrawfish

If the person doesn't seem worried/bothered/upset about them, I'd ignore them, and maybe ask at a different moment.


Fun_Wonder_4114

"I can't believe I'm having sex with a woman"


megapuffranger

Who said it’s a woman?


thebodymullet

I believe the poster you're replying to implied as much; consider that they may not be in a position where they're having sex with a man.


ruhrohrileyray

Depends heavily on how recent they are


ovr4kovr

My wife and I have been married for 13 years and while she does have trauma from her youth that she dealing with was never a cutter. If I found something new like this I would be very concerned and we would talk about it. Hopefully she would talk about it with her therapist too.


Constant-Owl-8749

I would bring it up afterwards. Take it as an opportunity to be support for their health.


DontBAfraidOfTheEdge

No, really don't do that. It is an opportunity to build trust when then open up. And everything that looks like self harm is not self harm. Don't play amateur therapist.


Constant-Owl-8749

I only said bring it up. Wether or not they want to talk about it is not my choice, especially if they are old scars and she’s not hiring herself anymore then it doesn’t concern me.


dover_oxide

Depends on the nature of the relationship. It might not be any of my business.


blksoulgreenthumb

Nothing, being someone who’s never self harmed before I actually feel like I’m the minority at least from my experience. If they wanna bring it up sometime I’ll listen and be understanding but I’m not gonna ask.


SteveMcQueef81

It happened. I didn't know about self harm then and just asked. She told me and we continued.


Few_Cup3452

I have quite a few. They're old but very noticeable. Nobody has ever said anything or stopped having sex w me/treating me well.


InbhirNis

"Wow, I thought people normally carved notches on the bedpost."


gordon-shumway-alf

Continue


PlethoraExplorer27

Was in this same scenario before, I kept going with the sex. I mean why bring up something so personal and painful right in the middle of sex, unless you don’t want the nasty. I’d just say leave that conversation for another day, but for me we talked about it after the nasty.


slice_of_pi

Draw over it with semen, and whisper "....*Simba*."


Upper-Air-3553

or sing the CIIIIRCLE of LIIIFE. they love that sappy crap


imredheaded

I'd keep it to myself and think, "damn, I hope they are OK and that I can help keep them in a better place than they used to be"


The_Hjonkening_

If I noticed self-harm scars on someone whilst having sex, I would not bring it up. First of all, at this time its not my business. Secondly, its not prevalent to the current situation. Now if this person comes to me about it, then I will do my best to support them, but until that happens, its not my place. That's just how I see it though.


Upper-Air-3553

pfft, keep going. get the deed done then maybe mention it


Upper-Air-3553

I mean, unless they're oozing on me at the time. You literally have poontang right in front of you, stfu and get at it.


seven01

Accept them.


Whirling_

Oh. They have them too.


Topotoon3

I would keep loving them.


leatherwolf89

Kiss the scars and tell them it will be ok.


UnsolicitedCounsel

become another notch in the skin


123DownByTheRiver

I’d kiss it as an acknowledgment that I saw it and it’s a non issue. Then never bring it up on my own


icerope1199

Did I read that correctly? Is the top comment really “don’t bring it up”? As in NEVER?


swishaaaaaa

A FWB in high school had scars on her thighs. I ignored them, then months later she asked me about them and I said "I did not notice." She was upset/mad about it, I suppose it was part of the attention seeking behavior.


Mammoth_Sprinkles705

Its art


devinple

I've been with more than a few people who've had them. I wouldn't really think about it at all.


TwentyThreeHeiress

Ignore them as they are probably very insecure ab them in that intimate moment and sex is not the time to have a convo ab it


TheNaughtyByte

Mine are old, and I’ve never had it brought up when they see it. Maybe in a longer term relationship they’ll ask, but almost nobody will judge you, and if they do their a bad fit anyway.


Conscious_Data9214

Hug them harder


nEvermore-absurdist

I would relate


SilverLugia1992

Hope to god that they're old because I'm tired of dealing with people who have a mountain of baggage


ItAgain

Reduce the percentage of self-harm scars by adding someoneelse-harm scars


Haboobalub

Gives me something to aim my load at


Chance-Ad-9111

Would give me pause!


Sorrowwolf

i would think we’d have another thing in common


tenforcer

Do nothing. Think what you want.


K-Kraft

Stop immediately and ask prying questions.


Soldyn

Fuck that!


[deleted]

I wouldn't bring it up.


Nytravels69

Keep fucking


thecowboyexperiment

I wouldn’t say anything because they know you can see them, they aren’t stupid. Just leave it alone and if they tell you about them, listen.


Notabumblebee27

Nothing, scars are scars and they mean you survived end of story


SilverVixen1928

During sex? Hey, I'm busy here!


Worldly_Variety_6404

Just once in my life I want to date girl who doesn't go to therapy


liitokarhu

I hope no one would do anything unless they are fresh scars. I have some from when I was 14-15 year old and strugling with depression. I don’t want to think about that when I’m having sex more than 15 years later. It’ll make you feel selfconsious and can ruin the whole thing.If you’r important to somebody, they’ll share about themselves without asking.


OakusBoatus

Ignore it probably just a torture kink


Vzdubz

Those girls are the wildest. Enjoy her


KittenStyleKungFu

"Hooray! You made it!"


hoboconductor

I fucked a chick with one leg. That's one hell of a scare. Never mentioned it. I just slid my hand down her leg, felt plastic, and she grabbed my hand and moved it somewhere else.


daynad00

Probably anal


Gear4days

Go harder, they can obviously handle it rough


motoscoot

Oh shit.... I fucked up and stuck my dick in crazy.


Cknarf

Pull out


VenusRoseQuartz26

You should probably enjoy it


redheadmomster666

Ignore till later


Much_Committee_9355

Keep shagging them


xyanon36

Not ruin sex by staring at them or mentioning them because duh


Torchaf

We all have baggage. Some people more then others and some people dont have the option of hiding it(scars,tattoos,meth teeth), but we can all change. I wouldent read to much into it


ChubbyThrowUp

my girlfriend has some. i dont care about them, they are from a time before me. i told her that if she does that shit again im leaving.