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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Sel-Reddit

NTA. And tell your sister immediately - him trying to do it behind her back, the pressure he put on you and that he scared you. It’s all incredibly inappropriate for a 36 year old man to try and bully his partner’s younger sister while alone in the house - never mind to access a safe full of valuables his partner does NOT trust him with. ETA thank you for the awards! 👍🏼


SpecialistFeeling220

Right, the sister must have refused him access for a reason. It's extremely inappropriate for him to pressure op for a password that he's already been denied by his gf. There's probably a history here op isn't aware of.


Honest-Ad-9155

He wouldn't try to get the password from OP if the sister would have given it to him if he asked to. Maybe he wants to know what he could sell from there behind the sister's back, or get them and hide to blackmail the sister. There are many possible bad outcomes and intentions the bf can have that I can't even count


kristyrennt

OP, do you have a friend you could stay with until your sister gets back???


Whatnot1785

Yes, get your own valuables and personal stuff and go stay somewhere else until he gets home. Holy cow your sister needs to dump him ASAP.


W3NTZ

Or at least put them in the safe since we know he can't get into it lol


Coffee-Historian-11

That’s a really funny, but also really good idea.


No_Performance8733

DON’T!!!! He may have set up a camera to catch the code. Take your stuff and leave, OP.


mugofanxitea

Smart thinking. He’s shady ebough


hyperfocuspocus

Or OP can buy her own safe and see how his brain explodes now that there two safes he has no access to …


Aim2bFit

IDK... I feel it's better to have someone over than OP leaving the home and the safe. With the right expertise safes can be picked or hacked.


Shot_Advice_6385

Personal safety over the safe. Safe deposit boxes are great. Your name has to be on a list to access it. INFO: how big is the safe? Can she take it with her? Or just take the items with and place in a safe deposit box?


HockeyBabble

No he’ll wait till She opens it to rush I and get a “sneak peak” at what he’ll be taking to the Pawn Shop. Wait till sis comes home


Mlady_gemstone

i was going to suggest that but something tells me if he is there alone then the safe itself will disappear or other things.


kristyrennt

That's a point. But if she feels like she's in danger, she should go anyway!


Mlady_gemstone

she could also ask several friends come over and stay with her (big burley man friends) or if her chick friends have huge lumberjack style BFs, or family members. theres options.


_dead_and_broken

Just lots and lots of witnesses. If you can only get one two, burly is the way to go, but if you can get lots of people, then numbers vs one person works, too. A lot harder to do something if you have 5+ people there to see it all.


SnooSketches6782

It doesn't really sound like she's at liberty to have people come stay over, it's not her house, her sister's bf could just kick them out. If she doesn't feel safe she should go to a friend's house.


Reigo_Vassal

I have a strong suspicion that it was Natalie's home and he just lives there.


throwthroowaway

This is such a big red flag. I hope OP's sister will realise it and kick him out.


Honest-Ad-9155

I don't think it's the first straw, rather the last one or close to that


OldWierdo

Agreed. Sis already told him "no." So that's a straw. And he asked in order to be told no, so that's a straw too. And she already mistrusted him when he asked, so that's straw 3. We're now on the BigGulp straw. Maybe this is the final one.


portezbie

I mean maybe Micah is dumb or crazy, but it seems pretty obvious that OP is going to tell her sister what happened and it is not going to go well for Micah. I kind of feel like this was a last ditch attempt to get at the safe before moving on and trying to rob someone else.


NerthGord

He likely thought he could intimidate OP into silence. Or if OP told her could claim she was making a bigger deal out of it. He sounds very shady and manipulative.


odubik

This wasn't curiosity, this was 'now is my chance!'


meeshay_qob

Hopping on top comment to say that if you feel unsafe maybe you should have a friend come stay with you until you get into contact with your sister/she comes back.


bearnecessities66

OP's sister's phone is off and now the BF wants the valuables in the safe.. I might be paranoid but I think OP should get out of that house until she can verify that her sister is OK at the very least.


Maxwells_Demona

That's a scary thought. OP you should NOT be alone in the house until you can get in touch with your sister and fill her in. Through a voice conversation -- not text. Even if your sister is fine (which I'm sure she is) this is very suspicious behavior and the boyfriend has gone through the checklist of ways to emotionally manipulate you (coersion, appeal to sympathy, forceful yelling/threats, pleading, belittling). This is a sign of a practiced manipulator. Manipulators don't like when they don't get their way and he's going to escalate his attempts. You need to consider the possibility that might include physical coercion or violence. Here is what you can do right now: 1) Get out of the house. Take your phone charger with you; don't bother with anything else for now. Your first priority is to get to a safe space. If you have a car, start driving! Go to a coffee shop where you can sit down for a while and figure out who in your safety net can help you with the next steps. If you don't have a car, start walking. Get OUT of the house and into public. Have an uber pick you up from the street l. 2) call your parents and let them know what is happening. 3) Try to track your sister down. You said she's on a trip with gf's -- do you know which ones? Try to get ahold of them. If you don't have their numbers, I bet you can find them through your sister's Facebook friend list. If you don't know which friends, try the most obvious ones. It sounds like you and your sister are close, so I'm sure you know who her besties are. Let them know you need to reach her and it's urgent, but she's not answering her phone, and can they get her in touch with you? 4) Assuming you are successful in reaching your sister -- talk to her about the situation. Over voice, NOT text. 5) Start making some phone calls to figure out where you're going to spend the next few nights until after your sister is home. Find a friend or family member who can accompany you back to the house to get your things. Make sure someone else knows you are both going there. If you can't find a friend who can go with you, call the police non-emergency line and explain the situation. They'll send an escort. This is their job, they do stuff like that all the time, and they'll be happy it's not a harder call and that they can just chill in a situation where nobody is arguing belligerently with them or injured while you quietly collect your stuff. Do this ESPECIALLY if you could not reach your sister, but probably do it anyway.


Longjumping_Hat_2672

All of this ⬆️⬆️⬆️. This bf sounds extremely creepy and manipulative, possibly dangerous. The OP and her sister need to be safe above all else..


Lazy_Cod2554

I thought the same thing. Are we sure OP's sister is safe? The whole thing is very sus.


quirkygeekgirl79

OP sis is on a trip with her friends, if they're at a swanky spa sometimes phones have to be turned off.


Squigglepig52

Holy shit - over-react much? she's away with friends, not chopped up in a box.


WingedShadow83

As someone who had a friend who ended up chopped up in a box (barrel, actually)… I’d much rather overreact than under-react. Make sure you’re safe, OP. And please do let us know when you hear from your sister. NTA.


20Keller12

Yeah the phone being off for hours gave me a chill too. I think I've been on reddit too long.


mrmemo

There is no reason whatsoever for him to need to know what's in that safe. None. It's not his family, it's not his property, it's not his *business*. Micah's behavior is suspicious as.


psirjohn

Oh, there are reasons. But none of them make him look anything other than a lying thief. I think you meant, there are no GOOD reasons for his suspicious AF behavior.


somerandomshmo

He's acting like drug or gambling addict. Nta


tofarr

I would go beyond this - I'd actually see if I could secretly record the interactions moving forward - this guy is already showing that he is a manipulative liar, so he will spin this to the sister in a way that makes OP sound crazy, or "trying to sabotage our relationship". This may be his way of getting rid of OP. PS: What's the betting the sister actually owns the house and he just lives there?


ReadMeMeow

I had wondered that too. Does he own or co-own anything with OP's sis? Even he is going to be husband, (perish the thought!) If Sis does NOT want him to know then NO.


Bullyoncube

Adding one other thing - 95% of the time, when family/friends try to steal, it’s for drugs. It’s the one thing that they will sacrifice every relationship for. The other 5% it’s gambling, sneakers, MLM, etc.


QYB1990

Tell your sister!!!!! Tell her EVERYTHING, from trying to get the password to yelling at you. #EVERYTHING!!!!! If your sister wanted him to have access to it, She would have given it to him. Do NOT give him the password....EVER!!!! There is a reason your sister hasn't allowed him to even peek in to the safe. NTA.


Zearidal

This! Let her know how aggressive and shaken the bf made you feel. How scary that must have been, but amazing you stood your ground OP!


drcssm

Exactly. It's none of his business, and if he was trusted then he'd have the passcode too. The sister clearly doesn't trust her boyfriend and based on his behavior there is likely a good reason. You refusing to give a password isn't disrespectful at all. It's your sister's property. Even if he lives in the house he isn't owed passwords to anything. A safe, phones, emails etc. He isn't entitled to it, and since you live there too, it's also your house.


INFJPersonality-52

There’s a reason it’s called a safe and you need a code to get in it. If she had nothing worthwhile she probably would not have a safe. And he’s asked her before and she said no. The audacity of asking in the first place is gross, but to ask again behind her back shows a high level of disrespect and a lack of confidence in himself.


Catatomical

YES THIS! Call her NOW. *Immediately*. Let her know exactly what has happened, including how threatening he was. She needs to know what her BF was trying to do behind her back. Good on you for not caving in in the face of immense pressure, but please, inform your sister!


Zonnebloempje

OP tried, but sister's phone was turned off. I would have left a voice message, as well as sending a couple of text messages. OPv you are NTA.


Ankchen

Agree with everything that was already said - NTA OP. I would just add that if that guy comes back and tries something similar again - especially with the pressure, the yelling etc - see if you can record him doing that (if one sided recording is permitted where you live, and obviously only if it does not put you in danger). But a recording might be helpful, just in case that your sister does not believe you, or thinks that you exaggerated etc.


CandyShopBandit

She should record no matter what. It doesn't matter what the law may be, she's not bringing a recording to police or anything. She just needs it for her sister's benefit to enlighten her to her boyfriend's disturbing actions. Even if OP does record something real bad and illegal, it might be worth far more than worrying about a misdemeanor..


flaminkle

Tagging on to the top to add: u/ThrowRAsafe34566 send your sister a text, writing down everything that happened, in detail. Or do that in an email and send her a text to read her email. Or send her the link to this Reddit. Don’t let him spin this to make you the bad guy.


[deleted]

100% this. If one of my younger sisters came to me and told me my BF had behaved as your sister's BF did towards you - particularly pressuring you to give private information where your sister clearly has made every effort to keep that private information private - and then screamed at you because you refused - that right there would be breakup worthy. Clearly he does not respect her boundaries. Otherwise he would have gone directly to her to look in the safe. The fact that he hasn't tells me that she wants to keep it private.


DumbPotatoBasket

Him being 14 years older puts OP in a weird power dynamic. He must have thought she was young and dumb and would give it up easily. That's why he was so mad. He didn't expect her to stand her ground. NTA this dude's a creep


sswishbone

NTA - no one just "wants a peek" inside a safe, report this to your sister as he may try social engineering to get access. You did the right thing, if anything, tell her to change the password immediately


Jakyland

Plus, if he truly just wanted a peak, he can ask OP's sister and she can give him a peak without showing/telling the passcode


Snoo74401

He already asked her and she refused.


empresslilandra

I wonder why he would have told OP that and expected her to handover the code. Isn’t that just further support for her not to do so?


SuperRoby

I agree with everything here except the "nobody wants just a peek", because although I'm respectful of boundaries (unlike the boyfriend of this story) I'm also a pretty curious person and would love to get a peek of what my partner keeps in their safe. I would ask if I could get a peek without knowing the password, just to see what's inside and how pretty it is, again because I'm curious (and a bit of a corvid so shiny = pretty), and I would obviously drop the question after being told no. Then again, the people like me who TRULY want "just a peek" don't usually yell and pressure others to show them, those are the kind of people who have something sketchy going on or some ulterior motives


Stunning-Notice-7600

Exactly. I like peeking into odd cupboards. But I sure don't get pissed and aggressive about it. This guy is off!


TemptingPenguin369

NTA. There was another story just like this in the past year, a boyfriend wanting the password to his gf's locked safe of jewels (I think she was a jeweler). You should warn your sister and stand your ground against the bf.


PatchworkGirl82

I remember that. Definitely do not let anyone have that password OP. NTA.


Momof3dragons2012

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v9tw6c/aita_for_refusing_to_give_my_partner_the_code_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


NoTeslaForMe

Thanks - I hadn't seen the updates, which were basically that he told her his feelings about not being comfortable in a relationship where she had her own private space, expecting her to give in. Instead she concluded that it wasn't the right relationship for him then, and broke it off.


tybbiesniffer

Iirc, she broke up with him.


mkat23

Was is the one with a lot of gems and all that? I think she had thousands of dollars worth of raw gems and stuff in there and insurance that would be negated if anyone other than her had free access to the safe. The dude she wrote about in that post was a piece of work for sure.


Educational_Lynx_886

NTA but please tell your sister what happened. That’s a huge red flag.


mak-ina-myn

Yes this. And do not breeze over how he made you feel (comes across threatening here). He is demonstrating why he doesn’t already have access. NTA.


hkrne

NTA. Clearly there is some reason Natalie has already refused to show him what’s in the safe, and you would be TA if you went behind her back and let him look anyway. This sounds like a really uncomfortable situation, but you’re doing the right thing by not opening it. You should probably also tell Natalie about this weird encounter also when she returns.


psirjohn

Not probably. Definitely. This is a deal breaker red flag. Can't trust him with money, can't trust him with kids, can't trust him at all. Relationship over, if only Natalie knew. Definitely the sister needs to know what happened and how he made OP feel. NTA


TrainingDearest

NTA. DO NOT give him the password! He's completely crossing a line! If Natalie wanted him to see what was in the safe, she would have shown him herself. The fact that he doesn't have the password, and is trying to be sneaky about it while she is away is very telling - he is violating her trust and trying to push you into violating her trust also. At this point, you just need to tell him this is between Natalie and him, and he needs to go through her, not you. Be sure to tell Natalie as soon as possible about what he did and said to you.


esme451

NTA. Natalie already refused him. You're a good sister to protect her interest! No is a complete sentence. If he approaches you again, just say no. Don't engage. Just repeat: No.


Dusty_mother

NTA. He reminded you who HE is to Natalie? Yet she won’t give HIM the password lol… you did the right thing. Make sure you let your sister know, and your parents if you’re able. I would tell parents now for back up. Wait until sisters home from her trip or at least on her way home so she can still relax and have fun before she has to come home and dump her bf lol.


PelicanCanNew

Absolutely, I agree she needs parents to be informed right away. And even if she can’t get through on the phone she needs to text.


Facetunethis

The response is: It is not mine to share. Ask her. Repeat ad nauseum. I use this policy for any personal information even someone's phone number. NTA and continue to let your spine grow strong, you will need it.


Slight_Flamingo_7697

NTA But definitely keep trying to contact your sister and do not downplay how threatening he was. Don't just say he asked for the password. Be very clear about how hard he was pushing to get into the safe to the point of yelling at you. Those lines about you "just being a guest in his house" was a veiled threat to throw you out if you didn't comply. 100% stand your ground on this. You were trusted with this info and if she wanted her boyfriend to have it, he already would. She needs to be aware that her boyfriend is the sort of person who would sneak behind her back after she told him no and threaten her sister just to get at her valuables and private documents. If you can get in touch with your parents or have any friends you can stay with, try to be with them and get out of the house. Let them know you don't feel safe around him and expect further harassment over the password.


[deleted]

[удалено]


schindig504

DO NOT RELENT ON THIS. Micah is up to something. He’s bullying you on purpose bc he thinks he can crack you. No one ever just wants a “quick peek” in a safe and throws a tantrum about it when they can’t have it, what is he, 9? Make sure you tell your sister everything that happened ASAP, do not wait. Get her on the phone. NEED UPDATES ON THIS


hap9565

Yes updates please


Ciphree

NTA. Hold your ground. He showed you his hand and straight up told you Natalie doesn’t let him into the safe, there’s absolutely no reason for you to do so. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your sister, this guy sounds a little jealous or shady imo


saintphoenixxx

How is this a question?? No, you're NTA, he even admitted she refused to show him. He's being shady as hell. Please be careful that he doesn't escalate this to violence to get the password.


keesouth

Why would you even consider giving him the password? Your sister didn't tell him. You know she doesn't want him to know. In what world would it be OK to give him the password? NTA


KJoD83

NTA super shady of him, tell her asap.


mobyhead1

NTA and you should be “blowing up her phone” about this. At least I think that’s the right parlance.


mvtshops

If your sister wanted him to have access to the safe, she would have given it to him. He’s being a snake by waiting to go behind her back and pry it out of you. NTA And I would let your sister know what happened as soon as you reach her.


Realistic_Frosting_2

I fear this could escalate quickly. OP, please let someone you trust (such a parent, local friend etc) of what occurred. If he's so determined to get your sister's jewelry, I am afraid he might get violent to do so now you've turned him down. Get the contents of that safe out as well as yourself and whatever valuables you have and please, please, find another place to stay while you continue to reach your sister. NTA


Professional_Ruin953

There's a reason that Natalie hasn't given him the password. He is asking you to betray her, you've done nothing wrong. However as Realistic\_Frosting says, get your stuff, the contents of that safe, and get yourself all to somewhere safe. Because you aren't right now. And tell your sister, don't wait for her to answer her phone - text, email, leave a message with her hotel - let her know what happened and that you've got the hell out of dodge as a reaction.


[deleted]

Removing the contents of the safe seems like asking for trouble. You have to open the safe to do so, which is exactly what bf wants. And then you’re adding a new variable into the equation — keeping the items safe in another location that sister didn’t know about or agree to. Unless the “safe” is some rickety metal cash box with a plastic handle, just let the safe do its job.


Iataaddicted25

NTA. Your sister's bf is being very suspicious and he tried to take advantage of you and the power imbalance.


cassowary32

NTA. If Natalie wanted to give him access to the safe, he’d already know what’s in it. That’s really weird that he’s pressuring you while she’s unreachable. Make sure she knows what he did.


b1lllevansatmariposa

Oh, def NTA. Your first instinct was sound. And please, please inform Natalie of this situation as soon as reasonably possible.


ConfidenceFront3561

Hell no! NTA! You did absolutely nothing wrong! Your sister told you not to share the password with ANYONE and if she would have wanted him to know whats in there she would have let him look when he asked. The fact that he tried to corner you and pressure you into not only opening it but also giving him the password so he has free access whenever he wants is a major red flag! Please tell your sister all about that confrontation!


OrcEight

**NTA** Good for you for standing your ground. He was up to no good by trying to bully you for something his Gf already told him he was not entitled to.


drtroublet

NTA. He himself told you that your sister refused to let him in the safe, so why is he expecting you to go behind her back and disregard her wishes? Dude, huge red flag there! If I were you I would definitely tell your sister.


TimTam_the_Enchanter

NTA. Under no circumstances should you give him that password behind her back. If she’d wanted him to have access, he’d already have it. And please tell your sister exactly how pushy he’s been about it.


[deleted]

you are not the asshole bro. He overstepped. Even that he basically told you that your sister does not want him to take a look into the safe and he literally tried to force you to show or tell him the password is a major red flag. Tell your sister but that is not really normal behaviour.


No_Secret8533

Of course NTA. He plans on clearing out that safe and selling everything.


Temporary-Koala-8940

NTA. Your sister can give him the password herself. Or let him "peek". She didn't and that should be enough for him. But I doubt, that that was, what he really wanted. So please please tell your sister. And don't forget the "disrespected in his own home" nonsense. Someone seems to feel entitled to your sisters possessions.


whatsmypassword73

NTA, tell your sister everything. He’s not a good person, he’s a bully and the fact that he waited until you’re alone tells me he would probably sell that jewelry if he had the opportunity. I hope you and your sister can move out safely.


SuperHuckleberry125

NTA He is not curious. He wants what is in the safe and figured you would just give it to him while your sister was gone so he could clean her out. Call your sister and tell her before he can spin some weird tale.


OneChrononOfPlancks

NTA -- I really want to see the update on this one.


Careless-Issue2752

NTA, he could try to steal from your sister, try to call your sister and text her what happened


Kris82868

NTA. If she wanted him to have the password she would have given it to him.


TrayMc666

Absolutely NTA. Well done for standing up to him. Make sure you tell your sister as soon as possible. Her BF has crossed a line. Who the hell is he to yell at you for doing the right thing by your sister?! He is the AH. He tried to bully you into getting his own way. He’s well dodgy.


juicydreamer

NTA. DO NOT give him the password!!


[deleted]

NTA - you did the right thing!! Be sure to tell your sister what happened though, cause Micah was acting SUPER sketchy


distant-starlight

He was ALREADY told no, but decided to pressure you when she was gone? Leave a detailed message with sis. Record any future convo with dude. He's not just peeking, he's canvassing.


Rolling_Beardo

NTA, text your sister and tell her exactly what happened before he has a chance to make up his own story. This dude sounds like bad news if he’s trying to spy on your sister especially trying to get you to help him.


Mortis_Limpkins

NTA. RUN. Get away from there, stay at a hotel/friends house/anywhere or lock yourself in your room and don't go out unless absolutely necessary. Be very careful. He clearly knows what is in the safe, and he clearly wants access to try and steal something. Do not engage him and wait until your sister gets home. If she does not dump him after hearing what he did, get out of that house ASAP.


JayGeeEdin

NTA. Good on you for refusing. Be sure to tell your sister as soon as you can.


Sufficient_Ant_3470

NTA if she wanted him to know what was in there or have access she would have given it to him or told him. Its not your place to assuage his curiosity and its not your password to give to give to him.


aggiesam1983

NTA and I would definitely tell your sister what happened. The guy is definitely TA for asking and especially pressuring you for the password. He will certainly have some explaining to do and your sister should really think about if the relationship should continue at all.


Lia_Delphine

NTA if she wanted him to have access to the safe she would have already given him the password.


waywardjynx

NTA he even admitted that the owner of the safe doesn't want him knowing the code. Let your suster know he is boundary stomping and trying to manipulate you. Hold firm on this.


sterren_staarder

> under the condition that [...] I would not tell anyone else the password. NTA. You would be the asshole if you told him


Shoereader

NTA, you did well. If your sister hasn't given him the password, then it is *absolutely* not your place to do so. I'm guessing that he counted on your timid nature to force it out of you - and perhaps to force silence about other things on you. Hold steady, OP, and let your sister know as soon as you can.


Pragmatic_Hedonist

NTA and now I'm a little worried about you with him alone in the house.


PleaseCoffeeMe

NTA, if Natalie wanted him to have the password, she would have given it to him. Don’t betray the trust your sister has. Text, vm, whatever Natalie right away. Give her the deets. Ask her if she wants you to share password. That was your agreement. Micah thinks he can bully and manipulate you into betraying your sister. Given that Natalie has already refused to let Micah have the password, and to see the safe, you kind of know what her answer will be. If Micah continues to be threatening, pack a bag and go stay with a friend until Natalie returns.


honeybeast518

NTA and tell your sister he badgered you for the password.


Abby_Benton

NTA- tell your sister and stay away from him as much as you can before she comes back. I have a feeling he’ll try to escalate the pressure before she returns.


Anonymous3105

NTA. Your sister will thank you once she comes back and sees that you stuck to the rules she set for you. But make sure she is made aware of this conversation when you can reach her.


OneWithoutaName2

NTA. OP your sister already told him no. It doesn’t matter if he lives there or not. He is raising some big red flags. If there is even a small chance he could break into the safe, he will and heaven only knows if he will destroy or sell the heirloom jewelry. Please consider placing the contents of the safe into a safety deposit box at a bank with you and your sister both having keys. And your sister needs to reevaluate this relationship.


fulcrum_ct-7567

NTA, she told told him no so now he trying to circumvent her by bullying you, what a [email protected] ding bat! Please keep trying to reach your sister, is there any way you can call the place she is staying? Also, please try to stay somewhere else, parents or friends? This dude is sounds like a real creep!


drews2167

You will be the AH if you give him the password. He needs to get his “quick peek” when your sister is home. If she won’t let him look, then why should you. And if you give him the password and something comes up missing you’ll be more than an AH.


ninatlanta

He’s trying to make an end run to get into the safe since OP’s sister already shot him down. OP is definitely NTA and needs to stand her ground.


catnik

"Just a *guest*"? You're her SISTER. Do you have anyone who can come over and stay with you so you can feel safe? His behavior is incredibly inappropriate and threatening. NTA NTA NTA


TipsyBaker_

If she wanted him to have the password she'd have given it to him. DO NOT GIVE IT TO HIM. NTA


Special_Koala_1093

Info: how long have they been together? Not that it changes much because you are NTA. There is obviously a reason why your sister doesn’t want to share the password. Esit: or even simply tell him what’s in there. I get that he might be curious since she doesn’t want to tell him but this doesn’t just seem like innocent “I wonder what’s in there??”


intensely_human

If he just wanted a quick peek, that could be arranged without him getting the password. He wants access so he can continue to sneak around behind his GF’s back.


mnemonicprincess

NTA Sounds like someone either has a drug problem or a gambling one. Either way don’t give him what he wants. There’s a reason that your sister never gave him the password.


BakerNormal4348

no do NOT give him the password. Email or text your sister to call you asap. NTA


FLSunGarden

NTA. You did the right thing. Definitely let your sister know.


Prize_Fox_9163

NTA If your sis doesn't trust her bf to give him the password, why would you do? And also, if your sis doesn't trust her bf, what the heck is she waiting to break up with him?


trasha-

NTA he knows your sister doesn't want him to have the password to the safe and he should respect that, not try to make you give up the code. I'm very curious as to why he wants in the safe so bad though. I don't think it's just curiosity for him


sonicblue217

Does boyfriend live there? Because he may ransack house looking for password or try to break in if you are gone. You might want to be at home as much as possible until she responds to you or comes back. Maybe have friend come over? Nta


[deleted]

NTA ! GIRL TELL YOUR SISTER! WTF why would u consider giving it to him? It's not HIS, who cares what he said, it doesn't belong to HIM AT ALL. He's a SNAKE. This is a big red flag smh. I'm sure you never heard of what happened to Sarah Stern. Sarah's guy friend found out her mom gave her 100k after she passed and he ended up killing her and didn't even get 100k because she spend it all. Don't give him the password. You need to tell your sister like TODAY.


Tyberious_

NTA He tried to bully you into giving him the password. Your sister had already told him no and wouldn't let him look inside, he thought you were a softer mark. Tell your sister exactly what happened when she gets home, but her BF is an AH.


Illustrious_Emu_1285

NTA and please please please, get somewhere safe and keep calling your sister and her friends if you have their numbers until you get through to them, she needs to know about this. Follow your gut, it’s be right so far, you don’t need us to tell you that :)


Miserable_SeaLion

NTA, totally. I’m pretty sure he didn’t want to "just have a peek", especially after your sister already refused to give him that password and he simply decided he will try to get it from you. You did good, he’s the AH, not you.


HotelLow7065

NTA there is a reason she doesn't want him to have the password. Let your sister know about this asap.


crymson7

NTA 1. You did exactly as you should’ve. Don’t give it to him. 2. You sister needs to know who he REALLY is, tell her immediately as soon as you can get her on the phone. 3. You didn’t escalate, he did because he didn’t get his way. Screw that all the way.


workingshaw

NTA, That joke of a man is dangerous. Tell your sister what's going on. After this exchange you are exposed to his outburst and I don't think you are safe with him anymore. Also, you can't ask him yo leave, because it's not your house, and you can't trust him to be civil around you. How to handle him is up to your sister. It's as simple as this: Your sister didn't want to share the password with him, yet he went behind her back to retrieve if from you. Trust is lost.


Bright_Sea_7567

NTA. Keep the password to yourself, whatever you do, do not tell it to your sisters bf. Just wait to talk to your sister, tell her the issue and let her handle it.


East_Rush

NTA and start recording your conversations with him. If possible try not to be in a room alone with him...go to yours and lock the door. Or hang out with a friend if possible. But def tell your sister....send her a text and let her know to call you back immediately as its important.


nadiyah98

NTA and NEVER cave in and give him the password. Your sister trusted you with so don't betray her. Micah already asked her and she refused so that's more than enough to tell you that he cannot be trusted. Wait till your sister come back and tell her of the conversation and argument between you and him. I suspect he wants to do more that a quick peak with those jewelries.


Appropriate-Bee-4215

NTA. There’s a reason she won’t let him have the password let allow a peek inside. She just doesn’t trust him. Don’t trust him either!


[deleted]

Nta. For the love of God don't open it for him


Blaq_Orchiid

NTA Do not tell him anything and tell your sister asap. He's not with her for love.


Ducking-Ducks

NTA. Make sure she has that thing bolted down. I don’t trust the BF.


Far_Sentence3700

Nta. Your sister should consider getting a new bf


Express-Educator4377

NTA. Please tell your sister asap before he starts trying to tell her a different story to get you in trouble


GovernmentFinancial2

If the owner of the safe has already told him NO. Then you have no right to give it to him anyway. Nta, stand your ground and just say "it's not my information to give out."


ComprehensiveBand586

NTA. Do NOT give him the password. He will grab whatever he can steal from the safe and make up some bs story about why he's taking. He wants to sell it or give it to someone else. Tell your sister. And try to stay at a friend's house till your sister comes back.


Gold-Somewhere1770

NTA. He asked you knowing full well your sister already refused him this information. Tell her immediately of this manipulation and intimidation happening. Lock yourself in your room in the meantime.


BodybuilderPresent81

Natalie didn't want him looking and didn't give him the password. She doesn't trust him, neither should you. Absolutely report this to her asap.


psykokittie

Clearly, there’s a very specific reason Micah wasn’t given the password. You did the right thing. Keep a low profile until Natalie gets home, but please share with her how determined and intimidating Micah was to you.


WhiteJadedButterfly

NTA, nope nope nope. She didn’t give him the password, neither did she let him see what’s inside, it’s already telling that whatever about the safe has nothing to do with him. Do not give him the password, do not let him see what’s inside.


smoovgee

>with little to non confrontational abilities NTA but please fix or work on this otherwise you're in a lifetime of pain, insecurity and being stuck in bad situations.


sudberry1982

NTA and not safe in the house stay at friends or hotel until sister comes home TELL her everything


Barkaat

You are NTA for all you know that crude man might be trying to steal your sisters belongings Inform your sister of this asap!


Clean-Highlight-7076

Oh My god ! Send her a text message asap in case things escalate and stay safe - this guy is absolutely off his rocker


Diane_Mars

NTA, and something's really fishy with him... Never EVER give him access to it. NEVER !


saurellia

NTA. DO NOT GIVE HIM THE PASSWORD. Text your sister and tell her briefly what is happening. When she gets home tell her everything. Don’t hold back to protect him. He is 100% entirely in the wrong and you have done nothing wrong here.


No_Pepper_3676

NTA and definitely tell Natalie about this interaction. Under no circumstance should you tell Micah the password. The safe doesn't belong to you and you are under no obligation to share the password information with anyone.


Apollob50

NTA. You did exactly the right thing. He was clearly trying to pressure and manipulate you.


Honest_Elk_1703

NTA.


ShellingtonXD

NTA It's literally none of his business what's in the safe. If it's "not that big of a deal" then why would he yell at you and get aggressive and mean? This has nasty and sneaky written all over it. You were absolutely right not to give him the password, don't give him the password at all. Could you maybe have a friend come over to spend the night with you until your sister gets back? Or even you could go and stay at theirs, coz the guy sounds volatile. Devil's advocate, maybe there's something going on, maybe he wants to put something in there for her as a surprise, maybe there's an old ring he wants to propose to her with in there, or something if the like. It wouldn't matter though, because your sister already said no. Tldr: good job, don't give him the password, make sure you're safe


Top_Thing4890

NTA. If your sister wants him to have the combination then she would have given it to him. I don't think she trusts him and I don't blame her. Get out of the house until your sister gets back home.


fjewel95

NTA. If your sister wanted him to have access to it he’s have the passcode too. He’s the ah. Make sure your sister knows.


Ursubrusea

NTA: this is shady behaviour on his part. He would have the code if she wanted him to have it. There is a reason and it is not your information to give out. Stand your ground you are doing the right thing.


WhoVilleWho13

Please update us after you speak with your sister. So NTA. You did what your sister asked you to and he KNOWS he’s wrong. That’s why he’s flipping out. So sorry this happened to you.


oliviamrow

If it's "not that big a deal" for you to share it, then it's "not that big a deal" for you not to share it. NTA, Micah is obviously up to nothing good and you were absolutely right to stand your ground. I hope there's somewhere else you can go since he's making you feel unsafe.


Inside-Suggestion-51

Are you sure he called your sister? NTA


Sea-Ad3724

NTA and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he waited for your sister to be out of town to ask you. Clearly he wants to access the safe behind her back. Stand your ground, his intentions are not good


[deleted]

NTA, and by his logic how come sister would give the password to 'just a guest in their home' and NOT to her partner? 🚩 And ofc tell your sister that he pressured you to tell him the password. She didn't give it to him for a reason....


Shibamomma25

NTA. He thinks he can manipulate and scare you into giving him the passcode, knowing his gf (your sister) can't protect you right now and because you are younger (easier to confront). I would contact your family and see if you can find somewhere safe to stay until your sister gets home.


Aniexty1994

NTA tell your sister everything the second you can and if you see him again record him just I'm case he tries again then he can't twist it


BackgroundSimple1993

NTA Not even a little. You need to get ahold of your sister asap and tell her what happened. Something is definitely not right. And maybe stay with someone else for a few days until she gets home. 🚩red flags EVERYWHERE


Own-Organization-532

Nta good job on standing up for yourself and protecting your sister's privacy. BF is showing serious redflags


Enough-Builder-2230

He's made you upset - he tried to intimidate you and undermine your sister. Believe me, his intentions are not good. You did really well to stand up to him. Your sister will be very grateful! But please don't let him back in the house while you're alone, and do not budge an inch - making you doubt yourself so you'd give in was his intention. NTA.


Technical-Calendar28

He is taking advantage of your akwardness and non confrontational nature. Trust your bullshit detector when it goes off, its serving you well NTA, do not let him make you think otherwise


Inevitable-Okra-3229

NTA Please text her everything that happened so she sees it when her phone comes on.


Ohcrumbcakes

NTA This sounds like he plans to steal something and blame it on you. Contact your sister and explain the entire scenario. Also take a peek at the exterior of the safe every day to make sure it hasn’t been tampered with.


meatballmonkey

NTA. He feels entitled to know and the curiosity is eating him up. He feels so entitled that he thought he could bowl you over and get the password, which would be a secret the two of you shared so he’d never have to reveal the deceit to his GF. But you refused out of respect for your sister and he escalated, because now he would be caught in his deceit unless you cave. He’s enraged because he tried and failed and now will have to take consequences for something he finds justified again because he feels so entitled. Don’t know if you’re physically unsafe there but I would expect him to be mean and nasty from now on. Maybe passive aggressive and subtly sabotaging. I agree, tell your sister and find a way to live somewhere else if you can.


TopperBr77

NTA. He just proved why your sister didn’t give him the password as well - and if she was this suspicious, his actions shouted red flags everywhere! Take care of yourself and be safe, with a friend, family, whoever can give you shelter until your sister returns. But, in the meantime, text her and let her know what happened. As for the safe, if he doesn’t have the means to open it, don’t try to take things. He may be watching you and try to steal from you later - or, worse, call cops saying you’re a thief. You’re not, but until that is proved it will go a long way. Take care of yourself now. The safe has kept him away from your sister’s stuff until now, it will do so for a few days more.


IrishBoo1983

NTA. YOUR SISTER ALREADY TOLD HIM HE CANNOT HAVE THE PASSWORD. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


FjortoftsAirplane

NTA because this isn't your decision. You were given that in confidence and unless there's some serious emergency and somehow the solution to it is in that safe then it doesn't get opened. If he wants to see what's in it then he can ask her any time. You did the right thing by not betraying her trust. The fact he yelled at you makes him a major asshole and I'd be telling your sister asap about what went on. Kind of have to say though, it sounds really weird to me that they live together and she has a secret safe that he's not allowed to even see inside. It does sound kind of suspicious to not even let him see, but it's absolutely none of your business and he shouldn't be dragging you into it. If he has a problem with it then he needs to talk to her.


Lazyoat

Why does he need to see? People are allowed some privacy


ConfidenceFront3561

Maybe he has a history with bad money management, debt, gambling or something like that and her sister doesnt trust him around her valuables.. But i agree, that sounds strange and not like a healthy relationship whatever the reasons may be..


VerityPee

NTA


alirpeters

NTA. i hope your sister takes a good look at her relationship after this. i suggest checking the safe in case he tries something


Missfunkshunal84

NTA your sister obviously has a reason to not give him the password. If he comes back and is still acting threatening, call the police.


wisewords4

NTA under no circumstances should you tell this man the PW and tell your sister what happenedz


Benadrew83

Girl he’s shady. NTA. He was gonna take advantage of you. If she wanted him to open it he would be able too. Sisters before misters


ThaiBoo

>she's already refused to let him take a look. NTA He is still asking for the password after she said no? He got something sinister in his head if he want it so badly 🚩


Substantial_Plum3460

Btw obviously. But you should be blowing up your sister's phone. This guy is way out of line. You need to tell her exactly what happened. Also why would you be the asshole?


One_Edge828

NTA Don't let him bully or manipulate you into giving him the password. That is not your property and if he wants the password then he needs to ask your sister again not you. And make sure you let your sister know that he asked you about the password and his reaction when you refused.


conme

NTA but Y W B T A if you don't let your sister know her boyfriend was pressuring you to give him the password. There's no reason for him to look in there unless he has nefarious plans.


National-Zombie3303

NTA - Keep the password to yourself


Denuse99

NTA. But your sister needs to know about how he harrassed you for the password. And as a boyfriend he has no rights to her things if she says no.


almaeclu

NTA. Text your sister every detail of the conversation. She'll see it when she turns her phone back on. And if you don't feel safe in that house, find somewhere to stay until she returns.