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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Glittering-Word-1051

NTA - I agree with you. I think it was really underhanded on their part. The hotel may have a trundle bed they can set up for the kid in his parents room.


grey-skies

This was intentional. Stand your ground, OP, or this will happen again. NTA and have fun on your vacation!


UnqualifiedIT

100% They want to be able to say "well it's already decided and too late now" and they'll spin it that way to everyone else if OP says no, so they can keep playing the victim. She needs to give the room to the nephew and go book another for her and her bf. Then ghost the rest of the family for the rest of the vacation. No reasonable person takes "I'm ok with nephew coming along" as "He can stay in my room!" Horse crap. NTA


Automatic-Day3472

I agree with everything except give the room to nephew. He is 5. I would offer to trade with the parents or change my reservation from twin beds (?!?- her mom booked that for her and her boyfriend?!?) to a Queen. A five year old can’t stay alone


Regular_Quarter_2531

Not her problem. The child has parents.


hellhoundsden

Not to mention with the twin beds. Boyfriend will have to sleep in a chair on on the ground. Or they will have to cram into a single bed. In any of these boyfriend and op won't have a relaxing trip. Also I wonder if the brother and his bf got a room with twin beds booked or if they got a queen. Seems a little weird that a couple gets a twin bed room booked for them and a 5 year old. While the couple with the kid gets the queen. Kinda makes me think they don't want op and boyfriend to have any alone time on this trip.


UnqualifiedIT

Bingo. This is a vacation for everyone else but them. Why pay for childcare or preplan children-friendly events and locations when the ones who can't drink can do it for the rest for free? I am aware OP's bf can drink, but he's not "family" so they basically think screw him too.


OMVince

Super weird that OP’s mom intended for the three of them to share the room but give them a room with enough beds! I wonder if you’re right and she wants the BF to sleep somewhere else


asecretnarwhal

Personally if I was OP, I would take the nuclear route that the nephew won’t like what he would see or hear in the bedroom. Hopefully by creating enough uncertainty about seggzy times, they will nope out of the arrangement and not leave you alone with their kid.


Kitsumekat

While I'm against traumatizing kids, I'll make an exception for this one. Nephew is about to learn sex ed during this vacation.


frlejo

They should just switch rooms. Parents want op to watch thier kid cause she is not 21


9669throwaway

They don’t even have to switch rooms, hotels have cots they can bring up if you need extra beds or they have couches which is fine for a 5 year old. Plus he can just sleep in the queen size bed with his parents. OPs parents are just assholes either trying to take advantage of her for free babysitting, prevent OP and her boyfriend from having sex or both.


[deleted]

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JustNeedAName154

This or switch rooms. Do not allow this. In no way should one expect "nephew is coming, cool?" To = "nephew will be staying in your room and you will be unpaid child care". Eta: clearly NTA Eta2: someone pointed out boyfriend needs a bed. I guess I thought they wouldn't share with nephew in room not not share at all. So nephew's parents call front desk for roll away or get several sleeping bags for the nephew on floor in his parent's room. Not OPs problem to solve.


Timorelle

OP said the room had two twin-sized beds. As someone who's had to temporarily share a twin bed with a significant other in the past, I can tell you that you will wake up in unimaginable pain from being utterly unable to reposition all night. Those beds are NOT big enough for two grown-ass adults to realistically share. (on the plus side, as someone who worked in a nursing home for several years, it did give me some real empathy/understanding with regards to immobile residents that we had to manually reposition in bed every 1-2 hours, heh)


Holymolyhannah

I've worked in a few hotels and they had them. Ask for one to prove its just a lame excuse.


Brandchan

Yes, every hotel I have stayed at has had roll-away-beds. Just call the front desk for one. NTA, they didn't tell you so you couldn't say no before hand.


BaitedBreaths

Yeah, where did they think he was going to sleep when they made these plans? One queen and two twins do not sleep five people. How can it be easier to fit three people into a room with two twins than a room with one queen? Most likely it would be easier to fit a rollaway bed into the queen room because one queen bed takes up less floor space than two twins. They just want to have some "alone time."


Triknitter

Hell, at 5 with a queen sized bed the kid can spend the night in between his parents.


Temporary_Nail_6468

I have a 5yo and it’s not the most fun thing with three of us in a queen but it’s doable. Better than any two people in a twin! OP says this happened not too long ago which makes me think this is in the past and already resolved one way or the other. I’d love to know what happened.


pyretta-blazeit

NTA but can't you change rooms with your aunt and her husband so there's enough space for their kid? Looks like they came up with the dumbest excuse so they can dump their kid on you and have fun. Stand your ground, offer to change rooms and do not let them make you into a babysitter. Their kid, their problem. If they want some alone time they can pay for a sitter


Cryptographer_Alone

There literally aren't enough beds. OP has two twins, one for her and one for BF. Sister has one queen for her and her husband. The only way this is 'working' now is for BF to sleep in a chair. At which point, why invite him? Though, with the twin bed situation, I'm guessing nephew is in there to make extra-double-sure BF and OP don't have sex on the trip. Which again, why invite the BF if that's an issue? Mom didn't plan this well. Someone needs to call the hotel desk and see if there's a rollaway bed to be had. Or a different room with two beds for three people sister and bil can have for their family. Cause there's just no getting around that either nephew has a bed or BF has a bed, but not both.


pyretta-blazeit

Still, not enough beds is the parent's problem and they should take care of it instead of dumping their kid in a room with another family member and her boyfriend. One of those portable beds should be the first solution so I still think they're just trying to get away from their kid and force OP to be a free sitter. No one should have a ruined vacation and share a room with a 5yo because of poor planning


Ankchen

The 5 years old can sleep in the queen bed with his own parents - I don’t see the problem.


Cricket705

A queen bed is plenty big enough for 2 parents and a 5 year old. Source: me as a parent with a 7 year old who still climbs in bed and all other parents whose kids get scared and join them sometimes. Some parents have the joy of more than one kid taking up space or multiple dogs.


BaitedBreaths

And if they don't want to do this and a rollaway isn't available, a pool float works. My parents didn't have much money but since they were the only ones in the family with only one child, they'd try to take several of my cousins with us on vacation every year. This was so that I'd have playmates and so that my cousins would get a vacation their own parents couldn't afford. There would always more people than beds, so we'd bring those cheap plastic pool floats, the "lounge" type that are basically inflatable mats, along with sleeping bags. By day they were pool/beach floats, and by night they were our mattresses. And they easily deflated for the trip home. We actually preferred those to a bed because you didn't have to share.


Temporary_Nail_6468

Yea or if in the US run down to Walmart or Target and get a twin air mattress.


One_Ad_704

Definitely a lame excuse because NO ONE would think that if nephew (or niece) is coming on a trip with their parents that same nephew would not be staying with their parents. Especially one that young. OP is totally an unpaid babysitter.


NWFlint

A queen bed can (uncomfortably) accommodate 2 adults and a 5 yr old. who’s sitting in the room when the 5 yr old goes to bed at 8pm? Cause at 20 w/my BF on the trip,it wouldn’t be me. Your mom is AH for putting you in this situation. Especially when your BF is staying with you. Technically your room can’t have 3 guests in it without a rollaway. So the rollaway may as well go into his parents room.


Speakswithserpents

Switch rooms then


PurpleResearcher5496

I think it's just going off the logic, "if you think your son fits in that room with OP and BF then you can fit OP's Sister, S/O, and nephew. So let's switch rooms." Personally I would request a trundle bed to get delivered to their room, then drop off my nephew.


[deleted]

But see, then they wouldn't get the free babysitter!!!


Constant_Gold9152

This is passive aggressive, but don’t be the baby sitter. Stay out as late as you want. You aren’t obligated to go to your room just because it is his bedtime. If they are responsible parents they won’t leave him there alone.


Dashcamkitty

I'd rather go home than babysit my lazy sister's child. You have to be a right AH to go on holiday with the plan of dumping your kid on your unsuspecting sibling.


squirlysquirel

NTA They can get a trundle for him to sleep on in their room. No way should he be dumped on you for the whole trip...rediculous. Their kid, they look after him...end of story. I also,feel he is there as an insurance to your purity lol


jurassicpry

Clearly OP's sister thought, that she just got free nanny from OP for the duration of the vacation. NTA.


squirlysquirel

and her parents got a chaperone


kal_el_diablo

>I also,feel he is there as an insurance to your purity lol OP and her BF should just fuck in front of him a few times. That would be a great way of undercutting the family's intentions and also making sure no one asks this of them again!


apipoulai

NTA Don’t want to get a trundle—trade rooms!


Ok-Ad3906

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT re: "purity", lol.


Motor_Business483

NTa ​ **Just refuse.** ​ Your sister can easily have a cot in her bed. ​ Just tell your mom if you are forced to have your sister's child in your room, you will never go on a family holiday with her again. ​ ​ **They are just bullshitting you - for free babysitting. So your sister will get a childfree holiday at your cost.** And you will loose a lot of quality time with your bf. - YOur bf is an AH for accepting that. ​ **So your bf will be out drinking, and you will stay in the room babysitting? What kind of holiday is that? Just cancel, and leave. And reconsider the relationship. Your family AND your bf are AH. Learn to set boundaries, you are not the family punchingball.** ​ You should just cancel your room, seeing what you can get back, and go somewhere else.


Zornagog

Seriously. Book yourself into a hotel down the road, or just go home. Either would be a better option than this travesty. The cheek of it.


epichuntarz

> Your sister can easily have a cot in her bed. > > ​ Or they can run to the nearest Walmart and grab a $15 air mattress.


ThatSlothDuke

> Your family AND your bf are AH. Learn to set boundaries, you are not the family punchingball. I don't think the bf is an AH here. It's not his family - he is a guest they invited. He probably doesn't want to make a scene and is just keeping mouth shut.


IkLms

As a BF here who isn't family, you just don't answer. You defer to the GF who is the family member. If she's already saying "No", you don't say "I'm cool with it.", you just say "It's GF's decision"."


ThatSlothDuke

Because he didn't want to start shit - he didn't say that he was happy with letting the kid ruin the vacation, he said that he's okay taking the couch. He is just saying that she doesn't have to make a big deal about that.


AlexSanc1

That’s what I was thinking, TBH.


TrayMc666

NTA. Take the child back to his mummy. And leave him there. It’s not your responsibility. He is not your child. This situation is grossly unfair.


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NewPhone-NewName

Comment stolen from u/Vistemboir u/Weakhoughtvg is a bot.


oddpolyglot

NTA - your move should've been to switch room with the kids' parents immediately. Then you and your BF could have had a queen bed and they would've had enough space for *their entire family* (possibly by pushing the two twins together and making a 3-person bed) I hope you told them that you weren't comfortable with this level of responsibility and while you'd gladly hang out with them as family during the day, a kid that age should be with her parents during the night, as that's what he's most familiar with. I'm so sorry they put you in this position - what an AH move!! Please tell us what ended up happening. Edit: I realised this happened already, not happening right now.


schindig504

This. The room switch. Yes.


[deleted]

NTA at all. This is not an innocent mistake. I don't believe the kid's mother or your mother genuinely thought you'd be fine with having a five year-old foisted on you. If this is what they wanted to do, they should have told you before the trip so that you could decide whether or not to go. You need to tell your mother that you're not an unpaid babysitter and that you won't take responsibility for your nephew. His parents need to know where he is and that he's safe at all times. Your sister could get a cot put in her room--that's completely normal and I bet your mother is aware. These people are trying to give your sister a holiday at your expense.


hard_tyrant_dinosaur

It's very obviously intentional. The fact that OPs sister and BiL got a queen bed, where OP and her BF got 2 twin beds says something of that. I sorta wonder which of those OPs brother and his BF got? Did they also get 2 twins? And sleeping arrangements aside, I find the whole "I'm the only adult under drinking age, I guess I'm babysitting nephew" part disgusting. No, it should not matter that she won't be drinking. One of the kids parents needs to be responsible for him. And if that means they have to alternate nights of preparing themselves to renew their relationship with Cousin Ralllllph and his porcelain throne, too bad. Cousin Rallllph is happier when only one person is invoking his name at a time anyway. And I realized from the drinking age part, there's good odds thst thus is in the US. I don't know that there are many other countries with a drinking age of 21. Which now make me wonder how much effort mom had to go to in finding a place with both single queen rooms and twins. In my experience of recent years, 2 queens is the default.


[deleted]

Yes, twin beds are definitely not the norm! Great point about the drinking. They will have thought that the OP can't drink so she should babysit. I was holding back in my reply to the OP because I didn't want to get her riled up and ruin the vacation for her. If it were me, I'd call the reception desk myself and request a cot for the sister's room. Also, it's fair enough the her boyfriend should enjoy a few drinks, but if he's abandoning her teach night o hang out in the bar with the other relatives, she needs to ask why she isn't expecting better from him and the rest of the family.


LeatherHog

Yup They want a kid free vacation? Don’t have kids


Max_Supernova

>I ask why he can't stay with them and they say that it's because they only have the queen sized bed in their room and I have the room with the two twin sized beds. Was this supposed to make sense on their part? Because it doesn't. NTA.


syd_cash

Two adults and a 5yr old can fit on a queen together, so that’s a really lame argument. Also it’s no way my 5yr old would be okay spending the night with someone other then me/dad. This is weird that the parents would even attempt this.


oddpolyglot

The parents of the kid = two adults. Op and bf = two adults. So how does one room fit a kid more easily than the other? If there's a sofa in one, but not in the other, switch. If there's floor space for an airbed/trundle/foldout couch/whatever, switch. If not, then what?


pedroyarid

Or they could easily switch rooms.


oddpolyglot

It doesn't make sense. The bf was there too, one bed was his.


Dilly_Dally4

NTA. Poor kid! I hope this argument wasn't in front of him. How selfish of your mom and sister to wait until hotel time to tell you. Seems like 1) they see you as a free baby sitter or 2) they want to prevent your 1:1 time with your boyfriend. Anyway, dont most hotels have single beds that can be rolled into the room? That, or your sister can buy an air mattress for her son. And again, poor kid to be caught in the middle!


Fluffy_Jellyfish_800

NTA. Their kid, their room, their problem.


CakeEatingRabbit

Why would your bf offer to sleep on a chair if there are two beds? Why didn't you just switched rooms with your sister? NTA but werid


Lexi_J_L

Because it's 2 twin sized beds and my nephew would need a bed to sleep in. my BF and I would not be able to share a small twin sized bed, so he offered to sleep in the chair so my nephew could have a bed


Vistemboir

Hotels have extra beds that can be wheeled to bedrooms specifically for such cases. NTA, they're just looking for a free baby sitter.


winesis

No there is already 2 of you in your room. If your nephew needs a bed he can sleep with his parents or on a roll away in their room. A 5 yo could sleep on a chair more comfortably than an adult. Their kid, their problem. NTA


hard_tyrant_dinosaur

With a few blankets, a 5 year old could sleep on the floor just fine. Young kids, when they're tired, can sleep almost anywhere.


OMVince

Right? Their excuse makes absolutely no sense - he won’t fit in your room so we’ll put him in your room where he also won’t fit… BS what a bunch of nonsense. OP’s family is so rude.


grey-skies

Just switch rooms. You and your bf can enjoy the queen size bed, and they can share the twin so their son has enough room.


LKW020902

Please don’t allow this because you will be stuck with him for your entire vacation. Tell your sister to ask the hotel for a cot and put him in their room. They did not ask you, they TOLD you. Do not ask, TELL them he will be staying in their room.


TemptingPenguin369

NTA. You said this already happened, and I'm interested in how it turned out. Did they get a free babysitter, or did you get a vacation?


Best_Algae2346

Same! I wanna know how this panned out, NTA of course.


Neither-Reason-263

NTA - I used to work in a hotel. Most if not all hotels have a way for you to have a child sleep separately. One hotel I knew had a roll away bed specifically for that kept in the laundry room that we'd bring up Also, its their child. They could've gotten two beds. Your mother and your sister both swindled you and although your boyfriend was a nice guy and probably screwed up his sleep, he shouldn't have had to. Consider this a lesson for any future family get togethers


gimmesome-ofyourtots

So sneaky! Your sister can get a cot for your room. You are now an unpaid babysitter and can’t have any privacy?? Say no, your sister needs to take care of her own child. NTA


teresajs

NTA Switch rooms with your aunt. Their trying to stick you with babysitting duty. Don't do it.


Miserable-Living9569

NO. DO NOT LOOK AFTER HIM. STAND YOUR GROUND.


LordSmoke91301

NTA. When decent people want this arrangement, they offer to pay a nanny/babysitter to watch the child. INFO: you say this happened “not too long ago” — how did it turn out?


Kris82868

NTA. There is no reason it's your responsibility to have him in your room. Especially when his parents are available.


Constant_Shop3265

Nta switch rooms with your sister and take the queen bed and they can have the two twins. They are just dumping their kid on you ( I know I’m a parent.)


FarhanLikes

NTA You are not the baby sitter, you came to enjoy a vacation. Your sister has no right to just push her child on to you.


whatsmypassword73

NTA, so just to clarify, your Mom booked you a room with two beds and everyone else got a queen size, so your Mom planned it from the get go. Tell them to get a cot or a new room because this is not what you signed up for and make sure your family knows you aren’t the hired sitter.


Judgement_Bot_AITA

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em-ay-tee

NTA. 100% chasing free babysitting


AUDMCJSW

Wait…if your room has 2 twin sized beds…then just switch rooms with your sister and her husband. Problem solved….


Electronic_Dress975

Yeah i barely read half this and you're nta. They are trying to use you as free childcare. It'd be annoying as fuck if it was your brother but your nephew is taking the piss.


cassowary32

NTA. There’s no reason why you should be in charge of your nephew. Is this the first time your BF has traveled with you? Are they trying to use your nephew as a human chastity belt?


VerityPee

NTA


[deleted]

Maybe they don’t want you having sex with your bf


ReserveSweet1797

Why not just swap rooms with you then if the number of beds was the issue??? NTA and I would be pissed too


ConfidenceFront3561

NTA. What in the world are they thinking? You go on vacation with your BF so they put a kid inside your room to stop you from having sex or what?!? Thats crazy. The fact that your boyfriend doesnt mind seems fishy as hell too though. Did he only say it to seem like the nice guy in front of your family or is this seriously his opinion when you talk to him alone? I dont know how much vacations you guys go on but for most people (especially young couples) privacy and quality time with your SO is one of the highest priorities there.


mishka1776

Ok he’s 5. Will you be responsible for him in the middle of the night if he has an accident? What about nightmares? Will you be responsible for bathing child and getting child dressed? Will aunt have a key to your room so that child can nap or so she can access child’s belongings? Are you supposed to go to sleep at 7-8 pm along with child? What if you are staying out late? Will aunt stay in your room until you get back? Congratulations! You are not family, you are the unpaid nanny!!


MeadowEstelle

NTA. They should’ve asked if they wanted a baby sitter. This is just ridiculous


nylasachi

NTA… that sucks they did that to you.


mygreyangel

That would be a hard no and NTA No way would I agree to that


Nova_Lurker

So they expect you to be a free babysitter so that the parents can party? NTA, get your own room. The actual parents should take responsibility for their spawn.


Sonoshitthereiwas

NTA. If they need two beds, just switch rooms. You only need the one, they have one. They need two, you have two. Easy peasy fix.


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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Alright so this happened not too long ago. I, F20, go on a vacation with my family each year. This year my family and I went to the beach and I was really looking forward to it as I haven't really gotten to spend time with my family since I started college as I'm always busy. A few days beforehand my mother tells me that my nephew, 5, is also going to be on the trip which was fine with me as I see him less than my siblings and I told her that it was fine with me, although I don't really have much of a say as he isn't my child. So everything is going good on the flight to the beach and everything up until we get to the hotel. When we get to the hotel they give us the room numbers and the keys. When we all go up to the floor, we were all staying on the same floor and rooms nearby each other, my mother and father go to their room, sister and her husband go to their room with my nephew and brother and his BF go to their room. While I'm settling into my room with my BF I get a knock on my rooms door and its my sister and nephew with all his stuff. She tells me that he's staying with me in the hotel, which I wasn't expecting and honestly not okay with as I felt like it was just them dumping him on me as I'm only 20 and everyone else is over the age of 21 so they can drink and party. I call my mother over as she's the one who really made the rooming arrangements and she said that when she called me she figured me saying I didn't mind my nephew coming along meant that I was fine with him staying in my hotel room. I told them no I was not okay with that and it should have been clarified with me as I thought he was just coming along on the trip. My BF said he didn't mind sharing the room and he'd even sleep in the chair in the room. I ask why he can't stay with them and they say that it's because they only have the queen sized bed in their room and I have the room with the two twin sized beds. We got into an argument over the fact that he wasn't even my child and that I'd be stuck on babysitting duty by accepting this and not enjoy my time or spend time with my BF or other family members, my BF is 22 so he would most likely be with my brother drinking, which I'm fine with. So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


heatherlincoln

NTA but just don't let him in, tell his parents to look after their kid.


MusicMonkeyJam

NTA. I am curious if you paid for this vacation? Young adult is a strange time in which you may still be dependent on family when a student or not financially independent. Of course this often comes with not being treated as an adult...it doesn't justify the move but might explain why your not being treated as an adult


pedroyarid

Yeah However, OP will quickly find some lame excuses, as it's clear they're dumping the kid on her.


Gabbz737

NTA Their child, their responsibility. I'd switch rooms so they have 2 beds. If they don't like that, tell them you and your bf will be working on making your own child so if they don't want your nephew to see that they should take their son


waywardjynx

NTA This is a case of wait til you're trapped and act like you have no choice. Sounds like you should get the queen room and sister can get a cot for her kid in the room with twin beds


Top_Thing4890

NTA. They ambushed you. You're right, you'd be the babysitter.


HonestNeighborhood95

NTA- your bf should have backed you up. They set you up to be a free babysitter.


mishka1776

So if it happened a few days ago, how did it turn out? Did you assume nannying duties so everyone else could enjoy their vacation, or did parents have to take care of their child?


SuperLoris

NOPE. You don't have to provide free babysitting without even being asked. Also hotels have wheelaway cots for just this situation, they can call down and have one sent to their room. Hell I'd go home frankly if it were between that and babysitting. This suddenly isn't a vacation for you, it's work.


LexGuy12

NTA. I find it incredibly weird that his parents would want him to sleep in a room with any other couple. Everyone wants and deserves privacy in their room. Kids sleep in their parents room, or parents spring for a connecting room to accommodate their kids. That’s what normal people do.


mooomoomaamaa

NTA Seems like they're trying to not let you sleep with your bf. First you get twin beds then there's a child in your room ?? Ask the hotel reception to send an extra bed to your sister's room and send the kid back. This is very weird of them


xxSKSxx_

NTA They booked the room and forget to mention the bed for your nephew in their room? No way! Just tell your sister you can switch rooms with them so there's enough room for her family. You can share the Queen with your bf. As for your bf: if he volunteers himself to babysit I'd make it absolutely clear to him that there will be no drinking with your brother for him as he just volunteered himself, not you, for babysitting duty. Or else he needs to stay out of this. Don't let them push their kid on you for free babysitting. They're trying to manipulate you.


SuperHuckleberry125

NTA They tricked and deceived you into babysitting. This should have been something you were told beforehand instead of at the last minute. Not your child..not your responsibility.


preciousemrald

NTA. If you refusing is not working, just go home. You won't have a stress free holiday with your nephew. Tell your sister to bring a childminder along, if she is so tired.


alexvrkn

NTA and stay strong. They want you to be a free babysitter, clearly, not a equal parts of the family. You could use your sister's room and they can go to yours and stay with their child. And your mom knee what she's doing. She just wanted to trap you so you can't back down. Do not let her. And if she'll insist after all of that , could you pay for your own room? Or go back home?


trixxievon

Make them pay you for the over night babysitting! That's expensive.


Sea-Ad3724

NTA they’re clearly expecting you to babysit a lot. A child that young should be in his parents room, he’s their responsibility


Cold-Scallion-3728

NTA Switch rooms with your sister and if she refuses you'll know she did it on purpose so she'd have more alone time Also they could have easily asked the Hotel to provide extra (folding)bed for the child (or her/her husband)...


DaxxyDreams

NTA. That is their child - and why would they hand a 5 year old off to someone else to stay with the entire trip? I couldn’t ever imagine doing that with my kids. The hotel could provide a crib or roll out bed for your nephew. There are no excuses as to why the parents cannot share a room with their child.


Delicious_Archer_273

Nta but I’d make it clear I’m not watching the kid. I will come and go as I want and if he’s left alone so be it


ChortleHound

NTA Your family sucks. They tried to dupe you into baby sitting. I'm sure your BF is a totally sound dude, but it is also a red flag that your nephew's parents would be okay with him sharing a room with their son. Most hotels will provide a cot bed free of charge for small children. Your nephew's parents need to do that for their room. Refuse to take the kid. Don't baby sit unless you want to. Stand your ground and make it clear your family is in the wrong.


brieasaurusrex

NTA. as others have mentioned call the front desk to have them bring a rollaway bed for the child. They should have them. don’t ask your family, or suggest, just go ahead and call and get one so you remove that part of the argument. tell them it’s for a 5 year old, they may have smaller kid cots. it’s totally not acceptable to make your bf sleep in a chair for a child he doesn’t even know and isn’t his. and that shouldn’t even be on the table as an option when they are talking about how many beds there are, so please be firm on that. (You can also ask the front desk if they have another room with two queen beds if you want to have more options — then suggest your sister / BIL / nephew take the new room) I know you’re in a precarious situation since you’re away from home and your family is trying to gaslight you but they *all know* you aren’t TA. And this absolutely is them trying to dump a kid on you because you aren’t 21. I’m 36 and babysit my niece and nephew often, but when we travel together it is understood that kids room with their parents. ALWAYS. Unless explicitly agreed to. if they tried to spring this on me i would lose my shit. Especially because 5 year olds are annoying and if you don’t know each other well, or aren’t used to handling their temper tantrums, it’s going to be even worse. They are taking advantage of the fact that you are young and might not be aware of what’s reasonable to expect in this situation. But i assure you it’s not normal, and they are fully aware of how unfair they are being. IF you want to compromise so you seem like the bigger person, say you will agree to watch your nephew when they go out for drinks after dinner (since you mentioned them wanting to drink and you aren’t 21). They can put him to bed *first*, and you can watch a movie or relax or something while they are out. Again this is ONLY IF you want to keep the peace. it will make you look like the bigger person who was willing to compromise. Sometimes with family we have to bend a bit, and I think this would be more than enough. TLDR you are NTA because making a five year old sleep in the room with his 20 year old aunt (who did not agree to this) — AND being willing to make her bf sleep on a chair — is absolutely shady and they know it. You HAVE to make a fuss and be a bit rude about this NOW because otherwise i promise for the rest of your life they will find a way to dump kids on you during vacations. It’ll turn into “well you did it last time we just assumed…”


veni_vidi_dixi

NTA As a mom, it’s downright ridiculous that they expect their 5 year old to share 2 twin beds with you and your boyfriend. That’s shit parenting and you should call them out. A queen bed for parents and a 5 year old is fine. A twin bed for you and a nephew is not okay. A twin bed for your boyfriend and your nephew is definitely not okay. Your boyfriend sleeping on a chair is really disrespectful and not okay. I can’t emphasize enough how much the parents are assholes AND bad parents. Call them out.


Susinko

My child stay with me. Kids are a huge responsibility and one I signed up for. If someone volunteers to watch her, that's one thing, but that's not what's happening to you. It's not fair and it's not right. NTA Also, why doesn't the five year old sleep with them? My sick six year old has been bunking with me and my husband for the last few days, and it's completely doable.


OverCounter8

NTA why are they just assuming that it's OK for him to stay with you instead of Asking first. Since your mother is the one who invited him she should take responsibility and accommodate him in her room. Don't relent on this stand your ground, die on that hill.


[deleted]

Nta. Get them to switch rooms and look after their own kids


Own_Construction_798

nta. this is an unreasonable request. they are not considering your boyfriend in this. if they are worried about you sleeping together, then you should address that as this is a separate issue. but still, don't change rooms. you are an adult and should be respected as one.


Express-Educator4377

NTA. That's underhanded of them.


MajorWhereas4842

NTA


JCBashBash

NTA. This was intentional to make you a babysitter. Don't take it.


Wisdomofpearl

NTA, not your child not your responsibility. You didn't agree to share a room with him and you definitely didn't agree to babysit him. He has parents who are there and they are responsible for him 100% of the time.


artificialash

NTA I’d honestly change rooms and just go enjoy yourself because they clearly don’t care about your experience here


Tyberious_

NTA Telling you your nephew is also coming with his parents, how in the hell does that translate into staying with you? Wow your mom is the AH for volunteering you for this without even telling you.


IllustriousCut33

So NTA Tell them to switch rooms with you so they had the two twin sized problem fixed lol 😆


kwithey

NTA


MaddyKet

NTA you will absolutely be babysitting and also are you supposed to go to bed at 8?


MythologicalRiddle

NTA. They're making you the babysitter for the trip. It'll constantly be, "Well, since nephew shares a room with you, you can just keep a watch over him while we go do fun stuff." "Nephew's bed time is early o'clock and since he's in your room, you can just head in early and stay with him. We wouldn't want him to fall asleep in our room then get woken up to go to your room later on." There's no reason that the hotel can't put a cot in the parents' room.


Appropriate-Bee-4215

NTA. Go to Walmart and get an air mattress for in the patent’s room!


Crafty3051

Switch rooms. NTA.


JulesSherlock

NTA. Have a roll-away bed delivered to your sisters room. Drop nephew/luggage with her. Problem solved.


UnhappyCryptographer

NTA Suggest to switch rooms so you have one double with your BF and your nephew can stay with his parents as they now have 2 beds. If they don't want to do that you know that they want you to take care of him.


SnooSongs7226

Don't give them a reaction, just say no and don't do it nta


Total-Hour-4445

NTA


Prize_Fox_9163

>sister and her husband go to their room with my nephew >I'm settling into my room with my BF >nephew with all his stuff. She tells me that he's staying with me >My BF said he didn't mind sharing the room and he'd even sleep in the chair in the room >my mother over as she's the one who really made the rooming arrangements and she said that when she called me she figured me saying I didn't mind my nephew coming along meant that I was fine with him staying in my hotel room So your sis and her hubby dump their kid to you and your bf with the help of your mom?? The audacity of your sis and mom, Jesus Christ! NTA, ofc


maidenmothercrone333

NTA. He’s not your child, they are trying to use you as an unpaid babysitter. Refuse.


Caddan

NTA. Your boyfriend is staying in the same room as you, right? Surely your family realizes that there will probably be sexy times between you and him. You might want to remind them of that, and that they *miiiiight* not want the 5-year old to watch.


katherinestwrt

NTA and I have a better solution - nephew can go stay in grandma and grandpa’s room.


Doc_Hank

NTA. You are an adult and shouldn't have to stay with anyone you don't want, further you are being expected to be a free babysitter while the over-21's go drinking


Ornery-Ticket834

NTA.That is a ridiculous situation. You were ambushed.


Financial-Winter-929

NTA Not your child, not your responsibility. If you choose to help that's fine, but it's on your sister and her husband to deal with the arrangements for their kid. Were you invited as a family member or as the babysitter?


Cookie1107

NTA - if the rooms are the issue just swap with your sister or ask the hotel for a trundle for their room, problem solved. This was really underhanded of the parents, they probably just want their privacy and alone time (assuming it was ok to dump the kid on you). Stand your ground, they are the parents not you.


lrhol

NTA, switch rooms with your sister and her family. Problem solved.


kutties

NTA Not your child, not your problem. Unless you agreed on it on forehand and want to dit h him, but that was not the case here.


[deleted]

NTA. Clearly they dumped the kid on you--free babysitter!! Poor kid. His parents are the a-hole and so is your mom.


Scribe101858

NTA- it's vacation for you too. He is not your child and absolutely not your responsibility. It's wrong for them to force him on you. How are you to have any privacy with a child constantly in the way.


Repulsive-Nerve5127

1. Pretend to get drunk every. single. hour. No way would they have you watch their child. 2. Set your alarm for 6 am every morning and pick up your nephew and take him to either your parents or his parents room. 3. Pay for your own room. 4. Switch rooms with your sister 5. Switch rooms with your brother and his boyfriend, let nephew stay with them NTA because your mom pulled a bait and switch on you. I've honestly never heard of any hotel room with twin beds; usually hotel rooms have full, queen or king size beds. I kinda get the feeling that mommy set this up so daughter couldn't get freaky with her BF (but is perfectly okay with brother and his boyfriend getting freaky!). With the nephew in the room, no getting busy for OP.


[deleted]

NTA, this was intentional, refuse.


otsukaren_613

NTA, they definitely pushed this on you without your consent, and now they're trying to act like it's not a big deal. I would deal with it for this trip, but never go on a trip with them again. Ever. Or babysit. Ever. Even if they ask, even if they offer all the money in the world. Never.


Eri_ari

NTA, are they going to pay you for being a sitter? if not, dump the child with his parents and go home or change rooms if possible


aimsly26

Nta but what was the end result?


Kaila82

NTA. Not your job to take care of your nephew on vacation. How unbelievably rude of them to expect it too.


rachlee65

NTA they only invited you so you can be the help.


HexStarlight

NTA you saying OK for him coming and OK for sharing a room are completely different things, if they wanted to switch rooms that would be one thing but expecting you to basically be the sober babysitter is quite another


Current-Mission-5521

NTA they totally played you. This is absolutely unfair and you need to twll them that your babysitting rate is 25$ an hour, counting overnight hours.


Accomplished-Mud2840

NTA. So what happened?


Smart-Gas-2408

NTA don’t share a room. Refuse and enjoy your time. Your not a nanny and they’re wrong for doing that to you. So underhanded


PinkedOff

NTA. And I hope you REFUSED to let him stay with you.


BlueCanukPop

NTA - your bf is in the room to? And they conveniently didn’t mention this to you beforehand! Simple solution. Switch rooms. They can have the twins and order a cot. You and BF can have the queen “. Otherwise I would be finding alternative accommodation or going home


KetoLurkerHere

NTA They definitely tried to rope you into being the babysitter. The hotel would have sent up a rollaway bed thing for the kid for their room. What happened after you said no?


mphflame

NTA. Not your responsibility and his parents, as well as yours, should be ashamed of themselves NOT EXPLAINING IN DETAIL what their thinking was.


Wrong-Homework2483

Your were the free babysitter!


Icy_Curmudgeon

NTA. I'd leave. Go to another hotel or go home. This has a lot of entitlement by the older family members written all over it.


Tantrums_and_Tiaras

NTA tell them to call reception and ask for a small bed for their kid. Or they can pay for a triple or a suite with a sofa that pulls out as a bed. Or they can go to a supermarket and buy him a sleeping bag Otherwise check out and leave.


madcre

NTA.


agimagination

NTA, obviously but why is nobody talking about the poor kid? Imagine being 5 and staying in a room with ppl you barely know.


Inside-Suggestion-51

Why didn't you switch rooms? NTA


drews2167

NTA. So what if you sister only had a queen sized bed, most parents are used to their kids getting in bed with them at some point.


kimiq92

NTA fuck no. "Am I hearing correctly that you want to dump YOUR CHILD on me so you can go drink and fuck?" That is the only response you should have given when they were arguing with you over it.


2ndcupofcoffee

Just refuse. His parents can ask the hotel for a cot in their room. They want privacy and feel entitled to deprive you of yours. Deliver the little guy back to his parents or your mom and tell them they must take responsibility as you are willing to leave if they don’t. Then follow through. Know you don’t want to but if you don’t do this, you will be the family nanny.


Dogmother123

NTA this was a fundamental omission and where was your BF supposed to sleep. I wouldn't accept this, NTA. Their child so they should figure it out.


werres123

NTA. Your family seems to be a crazy bunch.


Accomplished_Ad1837

NTA. One would assume the child would be rooming with his parents unless it was otherwise stated at the beginning. I wouldn’t expect a 20 year old to adapt to a 5 year old’s bedtime, TV habits, etc.


glynndah

"Sure, nephew can stay here, but my BF and I plan on having oodles of sex. He's okay with that, right?" NTA. There is NO way you should be interpreting being okay with nephew coming along with being nephew's babysitter for the entire vacation. He's NOT your responsibility. He has parents he should be sleeping with. NOT you.


cybin

"Come get your kid or I'll call the police to report you for child abandonment." NTA


PurpleResearcher5496

NTA - First, why didn't they request a trundle bed or suite that has a sofa bed for THEIR child. My family of 5 always get 1 queen room and 1 queen suite, if not we cram into a 2 queen room. With the kid being 5, I assume he's small enough that the parents and him can sleep together. Second, how is OP's boyfriend sleeping on a chair for 1+ days, I'm not sleeping on a chair on a trip I contributed to. (not sure how long this trip is or if he chipped in.)


Adventurous_Movie797

People forget that parents often let their kids sleep with them in their queen beds at age 5.


Mobile_River5222

Just NO...


Inevitable-Okra-3229

NTA Either mummy takes him back or dear grandma who doesn’t seem to think it’s a big deal


Old_Leadership_5000

Why can't your aunt ask room service for a cot for the five-year-old nephew, and keep the kid *they are legally responsible for* in *THEIR* room? NTA.